do you want to be an expert listener? learn to pick up those visual cues. learn what it means when somebody crosses their arms. there’s a barrier here. something’s wrong. learn what it means when somebody’s eyes are downcast. they may be saying they had a great day today but something is not there. learn what it means when somebody’s jaw is set. as you get to know someone better and better you pick up even little visual cues. it’s part of being a great listener.
psychologist carl roger said this about understanding and listening, “nothing feels so good as being understood.” that’s true. when i try to share some aspect of myself and my communication is met with evaluation, or reassurance or even worse, distortion of my meaning, i know what it is to be alone. all of us have felt the loneliness of trying to talk with someone and not getting anything back. especially when it’s something important to us.
what do you do? you learn to listen.
now we’ve talked here on the front porch about three things in communication. it starts with what i think. it starts with building through my trust. it starts with the way that i listen. and now the forth the importance of your words
you empower your words. why? because words are the single most important tool given to us from GOD. without a doubt! the book of proverbs tells us that death and life are in the power of the tongue.
in the old testament, in the book of genesis, do you remember the story of a place called the tower of babel? they were trying to build a tower to be like GOD and GOD wanted to halt the construction project. how did he halt it? did he take away their hammers? did he take away their chisels? did he take away their construction plans?
no, he took away their ability to communicate. when he did that, the project crumbled. that’s how important words are.
ephesians 4.29 (niv) tells us they are still important in our everyday lives today. do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs.
words can be used like a tool to smash a window or build a foundation. they’re powerful. sticks and stones can break my bones but words can … break a child’s heart, words can break a husband’s dreams, can break a wife’s love. or words can build.
just a thought from the front porch…
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