Tuesday, October 12, 2010

perfectionism and relationships...

perfectionism damages relationships.

how many of you like to be around somebody that's correcting you all time? every time you finish something, they have to go back and redo it.

somebody has said that the definition of a perfectionist is somebody that takes so many pains in his work that he gives you one, too. we all have this to a varying degree in our lives. it's frustrating, irritating, upsetting to everybody.

in the bible, there were a group of perfectionists – pharisees. they maintained a standard and taught a level of commitment that even they themselves could not reach. that's called being a hypocrite.

when we don't feel accepted, then we don't accept others. when we don't feel forgiven, we don't forgive others. when we don't feel GOD's grace, we're not gracious to others. it ruins relationships. because we're tough on ourselves, we're tough on everybody else at the same time. perfectionism damages relationships.

when you look at somebody who's a perfectionist, it looks like a pride problem. “that guy's a snob. he's got to have everything perfect.” but actually perfectionism is a sign of insecurity. in essence only insecure people demand perfectionism from themselves and everybody else. they're afraid that they might make a mistake.

it's not a sin to make a mistake. sometimes mistakes are ok. they're beneficial. columbus discovered america by mistake. goodyear discovered vulcanized rubber by mistake. alexander graham bell discovered the telephone by mistake. a lot of mistakes turn out for good. you don't always have to bat 1000. when you feel like you've got to do that, you put yourself under the burden.

JESUS said in matthew 11.28-30 (niv), come unto ME all you who are weary and are burdened [you're burdened down with life] and I will give you rest. take MY yoke upon you and learn from ME.  He said, MY yoke is easy.

why don't we do this? we put the burdens of perfectionism on ourselves. we try to gain GOD's approval by our actions.

just a thought from the front porch…

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