How do you respond to anger? You've got four possible options, three of
them don't work:
(1) Don't
repress it. You don't repress
anger. That's not what GOD wants you to
do. Repression is when you just say,
"I'm going to stuff it. I'm going
to push it down in my body. I'm angry, I'm
ticked, but I'm not going to do anything about it, because I'll just swallow my
anger." People will say, "Boy,
he makes me mad. That burns me up!" Literally, it is – burning them up on the
inside. Don't repress it. You never solve anything by pushing it down.
(2) Don't
suppress it. Suppress it means to
ignore it, pretend it doesn't exist.
"What? Me, angry?" You just try to ignore it, try to pretend
that it's not there. But stuffing it
down and pretending it isn't there doesn't work. In fact repression or suppression leads to
depression. The number one cause of
depression is stuffed anger, frozen anger.
Many times people will come to me and talk to me about a problem,
"I'm so depressed." After
listening to them for a while I want to say, "You're not depressed, you're
angry." You're angry at your
husband, you're angry at your wife, you're angry at your mother, you're angry
at your kids. Only you didn't think it
was CHRISTian or appropriate to let it out so you have repressed it and
suppressed it and suppression leads to depression. A lot of you facing problems with depression
need to look and say, "What am I angry about?" Because that's the cause.
(3) Don't
express it. Some people say,
"I'm just going to let it all hang out, just tell it how it is, tell
people how I feel." And they blow
up or they're sarcastic. There are many
ways to express it. Some of you don't
blow up but you're great pouters. And
you pout and you get your way through pouting or you're manipulators or you're
sarcastic or cynical or you look for ways to drown your anger whether it's in
an affair or getting drunk or drugs or whatever, just trying to get away from
the anger that you felt either growing up or now. It doesn't work.
(4) You
confess it. You just admit it when
you're angry. You admit it three
places:
1) Admit it to yourself. Then look behind it and say "What am I
angry about? Is it because I'm hurting
or afraid or frustrated?"
2) Admit it to GOD. "GOD, I'm mad. I don't like this situation." She irritates me no end. He burns me up.
3) You admit it to the person. Just level with them, say "I'm
hurt" "I'm frustrated"
"I'm irritated", "I'm afraid." I'm afraid I'm loosing something in this
relationship and I don't want to lose it and I feel like fighting for it.
Just a thought from the front porch…
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