We finished yesterday’s post with the excuse in
problems in a marriage of incompatibility.
This myth of incompatibility. Two
of the most respected psychiatrists in America said this about
incompatibility.
Dr. Paul Tournier, who wrote the book To
Understand Each Other, writes, "So called incompatibility is a myth,
invented by jurists in order to plead for divorce. It is likewise just a common excuse people
use just to hide their own failings.
Misunderstandings and mistakes can be corrected where there is a
willingness to do so. The problem is a
lack of complete frankness."
Dr. Paul Popineau, director of the Institute of
Family Relations, said: "I don't
believe incompatibility exists. Almost
any two people are compatible if they try to be." Your marriage, your partnership, your
friendship is what you make it. It will
become whatever you're both committed to making. People can learn to get along if they're both
willing to be unselfish. But it requires
compromise.
In my years of counseling couples I've discovered
that there are basically five major areas of conflict: money, sex, kids, inlaws and schedule. Every one of those five issues demands
compromise. You cannot get your way all
the time in any of those areas. You must
learn to compromise. So you cooperate as
much as possible.
James 3:18 (LB), "Peacemakers will plant
seeds of peace and reap a harvest of goodness."
In a relationship, whatever you sow you're going to
reap. If you plant seeds of peace,
you're going to reap a peaceful relationship.
If you plant seeds of inflexibility, you're going to reap conflict. If you plant seeds of compromise it will reap
great reward in your life. But if you
plant seeds of dominance and insistence on your way you will wreck havoc.
Psalm 37:37 (LB), "The
man of peace has a wonderful future ahead of him... a happy ending." Compromising
pays off.
Just a thought from the front porch…
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