do you realize how humbling that would be?...

if you want to really stop the conflicts in your life, if you want to get along with other people, you need to learn to ask forgiveness from GOD and from those you hurt. james 4.8 (niv), ...wash your hands… purify your hearts...

our hands represent our conduct and hearts represent attitudes. he's saying, clean up your act.

verse 9 (lb), let there be tears for the wrong things you've done.

don't minimize what's happened. take it seriously. be sorry for your self-centeredness. it's a big deal when your wife's feelings are hurt, or your husband's, or kid's or your friend's. take it seriously. if someone says you've hurt them, you've hurt them. it may not be a big deal to you, but it is to them. be willing to ask forgiveness.

now is there someone you would like to begin to resolve the conflict you are having with them? how do you do it? are you willing to go and apologize for your part? maybe they are 95% wrong and you are only 5% at fault, but you take care of your 5% and let GOD handle the other 95% in their life. their response is their response.

"i know we've had our differences and i know i haven't always been thoughtful. a lot of times i've thought more about myself than your needs."

you might say, "but bill, do you realize how humbling that would be?" you got it. that's the point! remember GOD gives grace to the humble!

if you want to change, the only way you're really going to change is to want to be humble and the only way to be humble is to go and ask forgiveness.

it's hard but do you really want to change? do you want to reduce the conflict? maybe the way you do it is by cracking the door open by your taking the first step even if they are primarily at fault. admit what you've brought into the relationship that was wrong. it's humbling, sure but GOD gives grace to the humble.

maybe this week you need to write a letter, make a call, make some restitution even to that person who irritates you. joyce landorff calls them an irregular person, those heavenly sandpapers that irritate you. take the first step.

then verse 10 (niv), humble yourself before the LORD and HE will lift you up.

GOD doesn't want to keep you down on the ground. the way to honor is humility. if you want to be honored by your husband/wife/kids/others/the LORD, it means humility. coming and saying, "GOD i give up. i can't do it on my own. i need your power to resist the devil when he says, 'live for yourself.'" i grow closer to GOD and spend time with him and i'm willing to ask forgiveness.

just some thoughts from the front porch...