broken trust takes time…

we are looking to JESUS to show us how to better our communication with each other so we will have better relationship. and to HIM building trust is an important step. the more you allow what you say to be something that can be trusted, the better communication inevitably you’re going to have.

we all struggle with this. there’s a lot of ways we erode trust in relationships. the top four:

1. lies. lies are always told in the absence of trust. i tell you a lie because i don’t trust you. i don’t trust that you’re going to accept me.
2. flattery. flattery is just a positive lie, a lie that’s designed to manipulate you to get you to do what i want you to do. psalms 12.3 (ncv), the LORD will stop those flattering lips. the bible’s an honest book!
3. broken promises. whenever you break a promise to someone you break a trust. have you noticed how easy it is sometimes to break a promise you’ve made to your kids? sometimes they don’t even complain. but anytime you do it, you’re breaking a trust.
4. silence.
   

i read of this one guy who said that when he first got married he tried to be a good communicator. he said, “i’d set down and try to listen, eye contact, really be a good communicator. but about a year into the marriage, my wife informed me that it might be good if i talked sometimes, too.”

that’s part of good communication. sharing yourself is part of letting someone learn to trust you, opening yourself up. if you’re silent all the time, people don’t know what’s going on. it’s hard to know whether you can trusted.

JESUS taught if you really want to have great communication, you have to build trust. you can’t have high quality communication without high level trust. it’s impossible.

some of you have the question, “how do we/i rebuild trust? i’ve already lied. it’s already been broken, destroyed. how do we rebuild this foundation of trust so we can start to talk again?”

as hard as it is to say, the only answer i have is, you rebuild trust one word at a time. one “yes” at a time and one “no” at a time. and one “you can believe me this time” at a time.

that means it’s going to take time. but it’s worth it.

just a thought from the front porch…