by attention & affection...

how do you affirm the value in your children in your husband and wife and in other people? one way is by giving them attention.

years ago cornell university wired little preschoolers, 1-5, with microphones for several weeks and listened and recorded their conversations. they discovered that the average father spends 37.7 seconds in direct communication with preschoolers on a daily basis. 37.7 seconds! that’s enough to say, “go to your room! … i love you. … how you doing?”

people need attention. when you look people in the eyes, you’re paying them a gift because you’re saying, “you matter to me. you’re valuable and i’m interested in what you have to say.”

guys, when your wife begins to talk to you put down the newspaper and look her directly in the eyes. when she wakes up from her faint, she’ll realize that you have given her a significant gift. you’ve said, “you matter to me so you have my attention.” wives, when you husband comes home and he is dead tired give him attention. just stop what you are doing and let him know that he matters to you. now if he doesn’t want to talk make that ok. but just acknowledge that he is home and you are glad.

affection is also something you can do to affirm value. romans 12.10 (lb) says, love each other with brotherly affection and take delight in honoring each other.

if you love somebody you’ll show it. people need love, hugs, kisses, touches.

the point is, men, dads, it’s not enough to love your kids. you’ve got to tell them but that’s not even enough. you’ve got to help them feel your love, feel it on their skins with hugs and touches and caresses and kisses.

children get six times more affection from mothers than they do from dads. you say you weren’t raised that way. but you can change. even if your kids are 30 years old it’s never too late to start showing affection. i am not stefs and brett’s mate but i am the only dad they have and they need to feel love on their skin from me even at their age.

men you need to every day give your wife a hug without her feeling that you have an ulterior motive that you are doing it because she needs it and you need to do it. women, you need to give him affection even if it might lead to something else and even if you do have a head ache. listen, be thankful that he wants to do it with you and not someone else.

you know i could be the best pastor in the world and give you hugs and reinforce you and never give any affection to margaret and be the biggest failure that ever called himself a man. it starts at home.

just a thought from the front porch…