Friday, April 25, 2014

Hiding and hurling…

In managing your mouth you think before you speak then you always speak the truth.

If I were to ask "How many of you believe honesty is the best policy?" all of us believe that in general.  But when it comes to a specific situation, we often feel that it is necessary to shade the truth a little bit.  Honesty does not always seem to be the best policy in the situation.

The Bible says we shouldn't hide the truth.  Proverbs 10:10 (TEV) says, "Someone who holds back the truth causes trouble." 

Why do we hold back the truth in a relationship?  We want to avoid conflict.  We're afraid of conflict so we hold back telling the truth.  "I don't want to shake up the boat, make waves."  So, as cowards, we hold back the truth. 

When you don't have honesty in a relationship, you do Hiding and Hurling.  Hiding is when you hide behind your excuses "It's all your fault" and hiding what you're really feeling from the people closest to you.  And then you Hurl, you lob these bombs out, "It's all your fault.  You always... You never..."  You add the blame.  (You spell blame – B Lame.  When you're blaming you're being lame.)  You hide and hurl and you end up with no intimacy.  You end up with superficiality.  You must have truth for a relationship to work. 

Maybe some of you are saying, "I tried this truth bit and it just doesn't work.  I tried to level with my spouse, and when I told him/her what I really felt, he/she blew up.  I thought this isn't worth it.  I don't deserve this.  I don't want to face this anger.  So we backed off into the corner, shoved it under the rug because we didn't want to face that problem." 

Notice it says, "Someone who holds back the truth causes trouble."  Dishonesty destroys relationships.  Dishonesty destroys relationships because you come up with hidden agendas if you're not honest with each other.  You come up with mistrust.  You come up with fear, bitterness.  The result is superficiality.  False peace.

Just a thought from the front porch…

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