i have feelings too...

there are so many dumb things that we do in our relationships. but james gives a checklist of the things that a wise person does in his relationships. here he gives another one. james 1.17 (niv), the wisdom that comes from heaven is…considerate.

wisdom is considerate and "considerate" means "mindful of the feelings of others." so a person who is wise won't minimize other people’s feelings. I won’t minimize your feelings.

now it is so easy sometimes to put you down because your feelings are different from mine. We think, i don't feel the way you feel then your feelings must be invalid or illogical or irrational or dumb. but james says that wisdom is considerate and gentle. he says, wise people are considerate, they don't minimize other people's feelings. if i'm wise i will not minimize your feelings. i don't have to accept them but i can understand them.

proverbs 15:4 (tev), kind words bring life, but cruel words crush your spirit. that is so true isn't it?

typically when we react to people's emotions we say things that hurt. often we belittle the feeling. we put down or we play psychologist. "i know why you feel that way?" or " you have no right to those feelings." we're condescending toward people.

listen feelings aren’t wrong, they are just feelings and everyone has feelings. now most of the time we judge people’s feelings based on our feelings but everyone is different and in a relationship it is wise to stop long enough and listen and then you will understand more how the other person feels. and our feelings are important to each one of us so if i am important to you then how i feel is important to you. right? right!

if i'm wise in my relationships i will not minimize your feelings. i'll be considerate.

do you ever play this game? my day can beat your day. husband comes home worn out and starts complaining, "the traffic was bad, my boss got upset, the heat wouldn't work and i froze." wife says, "oh, yeah? junior dunked the cat down the toilet, the beans burned…"

the fact is they both had a rough day. wisdom is considerate. allow your spouse to be tired without having to say, "i'm more tired than you are." the fact is, you're both tired. if you are wise you'll be aware.

just some thoughts up here on the front porch…