to be understood or to understand...

in this matter of having margaret, my wife in my heart, the difference between to be understood or to understand makes a big difference in all of our disagreements.

have you noticed that in every fight the fight is prolonged as long as each side is selfishly striving to be understood? when each person brings up all of the reasons why they are right the fight continues. and it is only until one of the two stops and starts to strive to understand what the other person's side is, to set aside their reasons why and starts to hear the other person's reason why, that the fight then loses it reason to go on and it stops.

because i am in margaret's heart and she is in mine one of us finally stops talking and starts to listen. that is what real love for the other person does. that is something that two very strong willed people have found as a point in having a successful 34 year marriage.

just a thought from the front porch...