if i don’t live a life of love, nothing i give will matter.
1 corinthians 13:3a (nlt), if i gave everything i have to the poor and even sacrificed my body [in other words, i became a martyr – sacrificial giving], but i didn’t love others, i would be of no value whatsoever. can you be in a relationship and give for selfish motives? absolutely, you can. giving is not necessarily always loving.
some people give just in order to get back. that’s not love. i'm going to give to you because i know you’re going to give back to me. that's not love. that’s selfishness. i know what will get you to do something for me, so i’ll do this for you. that’s selfishness.
some people give out of guilt, to try to ease a guilty conscious so they give and give and give trying to make up for something they did in the past.
some people give to control other people. parents do this all the time – the way they give to their kids in order to try to control them.
some people give for prestige, for glory, for honor. they want a little plaque that says, “look! i'm a great giver!” that’s not love.
you can give for a lot of wrong motives, and the bible says if i'm not doing this in love, none of my giving counts. and nothing i give will matter.
a guy said one time, “i don't understand. i’ve bought my wife everything she could ever want, and she's leaving me.” the pastor he was talking to said, “but did you love her?” you can’t buy a wife, just like you can’t buy your kids. a lot of parents try to compensate for the lack of time they spend with their kids by buying them lots of things. they don’t need things. they need your time. they need your love. “i’ve bought my kids all these things, but they still reject me.” maybe you didn’t love them. maybe they didn’t sense that in the way that they needed.
just a thought from the front porch…
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