being a part of GOD’s family makes a difference…

to be called by GOD’s name, CHRISTian, that should make a difference.  in fact, it should make a difference in two primary ways and don’t get these out of order.

one is to recognize and realize how deeply GOD, my FATHER, loves me.  i’m a part of HIS family.  i’m loved by HIM more deeply than i could ever imagine. 

secondly, it should make a difference in the way that i live. 

first in knowing how deeply i’m loved and then the way that i live.  don’t get those out of order.  you start by realizing how much GOD loves you.  then you live out that love in your everyday life.  

the bible tells us in ephesians 3.18 (lb) about how much GOD loves us.  may you be able to feel and understand as all GOD’s children should, how long, how wide, how deep and how high HIS love really is. 

i invite you to make it one of your life goals to understand how deeply GOD loves you.  you can exhaust your life trying to understand that and not get close to understanding how deep HIS love is for you.  that’s a great goal for any of our lives. 

then once you begin, as you begin to understand the depths of HIS love for you, then you live as a child of GOD.  you live out that love. 

ephesians 5:1-2 (nlt) says it this way, follow GOD's example in everything you do, because you are HIS dear children. live a life filled with love for others, following the example of CHRIST, who loved you and gave HIMself as a sacrifice to take away your sins.

we’re GOD’s children.  we represent GOD’s name.  we’re part of HIS family. 

just a thought from the front porch...

do CHRISTians really love each other?...

here is a verse in job in the old testament says, a man needs his friend most when he’s doubting GOD.  he needs somebody to stand and walk him through that time of doubt to that time of faith. 

rick warren tells of speaking in a small church – only a hundred or so people.  it was a sunday night.  he said,  “i was preaching and all of a sudden i stopped and said, ‘maybe there’s some people here that need to get some things right with each other.  i sense some coldness here.  i may be wrong but i’ll bow my head and ask the pianist to play.  if you’ve got a grudge against some other person and you need to get it right, why don’t you just get up and go to that person and tell them you're sorry?’” 

he said, “i bowed my head and i heard this tremendous noise!  the whole church was going to each other!  it was the most amazing thing i’d ever seen in my life.  it went on for about 45 minutes.  a guy was walking alone outside.  he wasn’t even a CHRISTian and said, ‘what’s happening in here?’  somebody led him to the LORD right there.”

when CHRISTians really love each other you have to lock the doors to keep people out.  the bible says, by this shall all men know that you're my disciples, that you love each other.  that’s what counts. 

in the new testament the CHRISTians confessed to each other.  during the dark ages, they confessed to the priests, freud said confess to the counselor, protestants said, we’re not going to confess to anybody.  as a result we’ve got a lot of problems and hang-ups.

just a thought from the front porch…

a pointed question...

1 john 3.17 (niv), if anyone has material possessions and sees a brother or sister in need but has no pity on them, how can the love of GOD be in that person?

real faith is generous.  it wants to give.  who can count on you in a crisis?  how many CHRISTians have the freedom to call you up in the middle of the night if they are in an emergency?  not just talking the talk.  not just feeling for people. 

1 john 3.14 says that one of the proofs of salvation is that we love other CHRISTians.  do you have fellowship with believers?  real faith wants to be around other believers.  you love them.  we are known that we are CHRISTians by our love.

james 2.17 (niv), in the same way, faith by itself if it’s not accompanied by actions is dead.

we are better at verbalizing our faith than practicing it.  i can’t meet everybody’s needs but i can meet somebody’s.  even JESUS couldn’t meet everybody’s needs.  james is saying that if my faith doesn’t lead me to share with others it’s wrong.

if i don’t feel like helping other CHRISTians i don’t have a sick faith, i have a dead faith.  james is laying it on the line.  he says, do you want real faith?  it’s more than just something you say and it’s more than just something you feel.

just a thought from the front porch…

there is no distinction…

so what is GOD saying here in james?  HE is saying, the church that accepts, appreciates and affirms people is the church that GOD blesses.  absolutely nothing can stop the church that is filled with love.  nothing, but it doesn’t happen accidentally.  it requires an all out effort by all.

i believe that GOD is just waiting for a church that will love people unconditionally.  HE can use that kind of church to spark a spiritual awakening that all of the forces of hell can’t stop.  nothing can stop a loving church.

it was said of the nt church, “see how they love one another.  by this shall all men know that you are my disciples that you love each other.”  you accept, affirm, appreciate.  JESUS breaks down all of the barriers and the ground is level at the cross.  we are all equal in GOD’s eyes.  GOD wants you to know HIM.

galatians 3.26-27 (niv), for now we are all children of GOD through faith in JESUS CHRIST.  we are no longer jews or greek or slave or free men or even men or women.  there is no distinction in the body of CHRIST.  we are CHRISTians.  we are one in CHRIST JESUS.

just a thought from the front porch…

it's serious business...

james is saying, people think favoritism is such a small sin but he says, if you break GOD’s rule, you break GOD’s rule.  be careful, it’s serious business.

james 2.11 (niv),  for who said, “do not commit adultery” also said, “do not murder”.  if you do not commit adultery but do commit murder, you have become a lawbreaker.

what is he saying?  he is illustrating his point about being unloving.  if i come to your house and say, “i really respect you a whole lot.  the way i’m going to prove how much i love you is i’m not going to commit adultery with your wife.  however, i reserve the right if you tick me off i’ll murder you.”

are you going to thank me for that?  will you appreciate my love?  of course not, how absurd.  it’s ridiculous.  “i don't smoke or cuss or chew or run around with girls who do.  what does GOD care about if i’m partial to certain kinds of people?”  no.  GOD says it’s all the same; it’s all important.

james 1.12 (niv), speak and act as those who are going to be judged by the law that gives freedom because judgment without mercy will not be shone to anyone who has not been merciful.  mercy triumphs over judgment.  love treats people with mercy.  love gives people what they need, not what they deserve. 

james here is probably thinking about his half brother JESUS who said in the sermon on the mount, blessed is the merciful for they shall obtain mercy.

that’s the problem.  it’s unCHRISTian, it’s unreasonable, it’s unloving to show favoritism – to be a snob.

just a thought from the front porch…

how you relate shows how you love…

then james gives his primary reason for the problem with favoritism in chapter 2 verse 8 (niv), if you really keep the royal law found in scripture, “love your neighbor as yourself.” you’re doing right.  from this you see that favoritism is unloving

why is it called the royal law?  because if we obey that one we wouldn’t need all the rest.  galations 5.14 (niv), all the law is summed up in one sentence, “love your neighbor as yourself.”  if i play favorites i’m being unloving.

the bible says that how we relate to other people shows how much we really love GOD.  1 john 4.20 (niv), if anyone boasts, “i  love GOD,” and goes right on hating his brother or sister, thinking nothing of it, he is a liar.  if he won’t love the person he can see, how can he love GOD he can't see?  how i relate to you proves how much i love GOD.  favoritism is unloving.

few of us know how to love unconditionally.  most of us are like this poem.

paul’s girl is rich and haughty

my girl is poor as clay

paul’s girl is young and pretty

mine looks like a bale of hay.

paul’s girl is smart and clever

my girl is dumb but good.

would i trade my girl for paul’s?

you bet i would!

we don't know how to love unconditionally.  all we know is how to show favoritism.

james 2.9&10 (niv), if you show favoritism you sin and are convicted by the law as lawbreakers.  for whoever keeps the whole law and yet stumbles at just one point is guilty of breaking all of it.

how many laws do you have to break to be a lawbreaker?  one.  how many crimes do you have to commit to become a criminal?  one.  how many links do you have to break to break a chain?  one

have you ever been in a china shop that has the sign, “you break it, you've bought it”?  they don’t care if it’s broken in one place or a thousand pieces, if you broke it, you bought it.

just a thought from the front porch

it is unCHRISTian…

james says there are some problems with favoritism.

one is that favoritism is unCHRISTian.  if you want to be like JESUS you can’t play favorites.  james 2.1 (niv), my brothers, as believers in our glorious LORD JESUS CHRIST, don’t show favoritism.  faith and favoritism are incompatible – we’re a family. 

 now this word, “favoritism” is used only four times in the bible and every time it’s referring to GOD and it says, “GOD does not play favorites”.  romans 2.11, GOD does not show favoritism. 

JESUS treated everybody with dignity.  GOD loves everybody.  if there is one place in the world where there shouldn’t be any kind of discrimination it ought to be in the church.  there is discrimination everywhere else in the world but there ought to be one place no matter who you are or what your background is that you’re welcome.

just a thought from the front porch…

it is your business…

is there anybody you’ve given permission to get in your face and say, “this needs to be corrected.”  if not, i pity you.  you’re never going to grow very much if you don’t have anybody who loves you enough to tell you the truth. 

galatians 6.1-2 (ncv) says this, brothers and sisters, if somebody in your group [and this, by the way, is a great verse for small groups] does something wrong go to that person and gently help make him right again. 

notice in this verse it says, go to that person.  that means you take the initiative.  if you see something wrong in a friend, loved one, relative, fellow CHRISTian’s life you take the initiative and go to him. 

why don’t we do that?  because we believe a lie that’s out of the pit of hell.  it’s none of my business.  it is your business!  if you care, if you love, it is your business.  if you’re a CHRISTian and that person is a CHRISTian it just became your business.  because the bible says we’re all in the same family.  the bible says we’re connected.  the bible says we belong to each other.  the bible says we’re going to spend eternity together.  we’re brothers and sisters.  i have a right to get in your face and you have a right to get in my face for the good and love of the relationship.  it is your business!

when you say, “it’s none of my business,” there’s a word for that – apathy and a lack of love.  it is your business.  yet i have seen so many CHRISTians in families, churches and small groups.  they see somebody who’s heading down a wrong path, they’re getting involved in an affair, they’re getting involved in a stupid business decision, they’re ruining their life on drugs or some foolish choice and people stand by and watch them do it and let them do it and say, “it’s none of my business.”  that is unloving.  somebody’s got to care enough and love them enough to say, “don’t do this!  you’re making a major mistake with your life.” 

just a thought from the front porch…

love, mercy, patience and hope…

lamentations 3.21-23 (ncv) says, but i have hope when i think of this.  the LORD’s love never ends.  HIS mercies never stop.  they are new every morning.  i have hope when i think about GOD’s love.  i have hope when i think about GOD’s mercy.  because HE is a GOD of love and hope and mercy. 

you drive into a gas station.  what would you hope to find there at a gas station?  gas.  you go into a doughnut shop, what do you expect to find?  doughnuts.  you go to the GOD of hope and love, what are you going to find?  not fear, not guilt.  you’re going to find hope.  you’re going to find love.  because that is who GOD is. 

this verse says, GOD’s love is new every morning.  if it’s new every morning i want to think about it every morning. 

in fact, let me get even more practical than that.  if you’re feeling hopeless, or if you don’t want to start feeling hopeless, here’s the practical thing to do.  before you even get out of bed in the morning – remind yourself GOD’s love is your lifeline.  you wake up feeling groggy.  before you even get out of bed because who knows what’s going to happen the first thirty seconds of the day.  “GOD, no matter what happens today, YOU love me.”  just remind yourself of that.  every morning.  there is power in doing that. 

another way to find hope in a hopeless situation is to make patience your priority. 

but you say, “i don’t want patience!  i want hope!  and i want it now.  i don’t want to wait for it.”  if you’re looking for hope and someone says to you in the middle of a problem, “oh, just be patient.”  does that sound like an answer?  to me it sounds like somebody just patting me on the back.  “oh, it’s going to be ok.”  and send me out with no real answer.  yet GOD, when HE talks about our problems, talks about the power of patience to make a difference in our lives. 

our priority is to solve the problem.  that’s not GOD’s priority.  GOD’s priority is to grow us through the problem.  why is that by the way?  because GOD knows that you’re going to far outlast any problem that you have.  problems that you have, they might last five days, five months, five years.  they might even last the rest of your life.  but compared to the eternity that GOD has created us for, that is a short time.  so because GOD knows that you’re going to far outlast your problems.  HE’s more interested in your growth and my growth than in solving the problem immediately. 

just a thought from the front porch…

not if but when…

the question is not if we’re ever going to regret this frantic paced, overloaded, stressed to the limit lifestyle that everybody is living.  it’s not if we’re going to regret it.  the only question is when?  when it’s too late?  after the family’s fallen apart?  if you have kids the time to love them is now. 

a few years ago cherry boone, one of pat boone’s daughters wrote a book about her struggle with anorexia called starving for attention.  who do you know like that?  who do you know that is starving for attention? 

the answer is everybody.  everybody is starving for attention.  so what are you going to do about it?  are you going to change?  or are you going to stand before GOD one day and explain why things were more important than people?  what excuse are you going to give for not putting first things first in your life?  who do you need to start spending more time with?  what do you need to cut out of your schedule?  what financial sacrifice do you need to make for things that really count? 

the best use of life is love.  the best expression of love is time.  the best time to love is now.

let’s pray…

FATHER, it is so easy to get distracted from what’s most important in life knowing and loving YOU and knowing and loving those around us.  forgive us from being task-driven instead of love-driven.  forgive us for valuing things and accomplishments and the praise of others more than people. 

now you pray, “FATHER, thank you for this wake-up call today.  i know what matters most even when my schedule doesn’t show it.  i thank YOU for the reminder today.  i know that the people who love me are a gift from YOU.  please forgive me for taking them for granted.  please forgive me for allowing other things to crowd out my relationship to YOU and to others.  i want to change.  i want to slow down.  i want to make time for loving relationships.  i know that this may mean making some personal sacrifices, probably financial.  but JESUS, YOU modeled real love when YOU sacrificed YOURself for me.  thank YOU.  i want to be like YOU, and i want to make love the primary aim of my life for the rest of my life.  in JESUS’ name i pray.  amen.”

just a thought from the front porch…

things or people…

the best use of life is love and the best expression of love is time and the best time to love is now.  now, not next week, not later, not when things settle down, not when we reach a certain standard of living.  who are you kidding?  it’s now. 

galatians 6.10 (nlt), whenever we have the opportunity we should do good to everyone.  ephesians 5.16 (ncv), use every chance you have for doing good.  proverbs 3.27-28 (tev), whenever you possibly can, do good to those who need it.  never tell your neighbor to wait until tomorrow if you can help them now.  if it’s good for neighbors it certainly applies to families too. 

there are some activities in your life in which procrastination is a legitimate response because some things just aren’t that important and you ought to put them off.  but since love is the most important thing in life, anytime you choose something else over a loving relationship you’ve just made a stupid decision.  you’ve missed the point of life.  you have made the wrong choice. 

why?  why is now the best time to express love?  because you don’t know how long you’re going to get the opportunity to do it.  circumstances change.  people die.  children grow up and leave home.  you’re not guaranteed a tomorrow.  if you’re going to express love you’d better do it now. 

charles colson and george mcgovern are at opposite extremes in the political spectrum.  in fact in the 72 presidential campaign of mcgovern versus nixon they worked on opposite sides.  but they both ended up with the same regret. 

chuck colson wrote, “as i think back out on my life my biggest regret is not spending more time with the kids.  making family your top priority means going against the culture where materialism and workaholism are rampant.  it means realizing you may not advance as fast in your career as some do.  it means being willing to accept a lower standard of living knowing that you’re doing the right thing for your children, giving them the emotional security that they will draw on for the rest of their lives.”  are you willing to make that financial sacrifice?  or are things more important than people? 

george mcgovern, one time presidential candidate, wrote a book about his daughter terry who died of alcoholism.  in 1994 she was found frozen to death in a snow bank where she’d fallen in a drunken stupor.  after his daughter died mcgovern poured over terry’s diaries and talked to all her friends trying to figure out what she was thinking and he discovered that he was not as good as father as he thought he’d been.  while he was spending eighteen-hour days fighting for political causes his daughter terry was at home writing in her diary that she missed her daddy but he probably didn’t miss her because he probably didn’t care about her.  mcgovern wrote in his advice to parents “show more love to your kids by spending more time with them especially during the adolescent years.  no matter what it costs your career, that way neither of you will have regrets.”  and he writes this, “i’d give everything i have and i mean everything for one more afternoon with terry, just to tell her how much i love her and have one more of those happy times that we used to have all too infrequently.”

just a thought from the front porch…

that’s what love is all about…

all the money in the world can’t replace your time with your wife, your husband, your kids, those you love.  whenever you give your time you’re making a sacrifice of your life because your time is your life.  but that’s what love is all about, it’s about sacrifice.  sacrifice is the essence of love. 

ephesians 5.2 (nlt), live a life filled with love following the example of CHRIST who loved you and gave HIMself as a sacrifice to take away your sins. 

if it isn’t a sacrifice, it’s not real love.  you may call it that but it’s not.  if it isn’t a sacrifice, it’s not real love.  you can give without loving but you cannot love – legitimately love – without giving.  love is the essence of sacrifice.  love means giving up – giving up my ambitions, giving up my preferences, giving up my likes, giving up my particular thing that i think is fun, giving up my energy, giving up my time for the benefit of somebody else.  that's what love is.  giving up my time and my preferences for the benefit of someone else.  it’s a sacrifice.

many of you are in time-starved relationships.  you live in the same home but you’re passing each other by day and by night like ships with a goodbye kiss here and there and your relationship is shriveling.  it’s shrinking.  it’s drying up for lack of attention. 

a lot of things can rob a relationship.  work can rob a relationship.  activity can rob a relationship.  too much church involvement or ministry can rob a relationship.  hobbies.  fun things that you like to do on your own can rob a relationship.  tv can rob a relationship.  computers can rob a relationship. 

somebody says, “how can i have more time for those i love?”  turn off the tv and unplug the computer.  i'm not saying get rid of them.  i'm just saying limit them.  the average american now watches tv and/or works or plays on the computer an average of five to six hours a day.  that’s over 30 hours a week.  that’s 1,560 hours a year.  let me put that in perspective.  one thousand five hundred sixty hours a year is the equivalent of spending 97 days straight at 16 hours a day watching tv or playing or working on the computer.  that’s bound to hurt a relationship. 

just a thought from the front porch…

the most desired gift of love…

GOD’s first law of relationships is the best use of life is love.  the second is the best expression of love is time

you spell love, time.  1 john 3.18 (Gw) says, we must show love through actions that are sincere, not through empty words.  if you say you love but you’re not showing any time, you’re just kidding yourself. 

guys, what is the most desired gift of love?  diamonds?  wrong answer!  roses?  no.  chocolate?  fat chance! 

the most desired gift of love is focused attention.  i want to see your eyes, your ears.  i want you to give me your time.  i want to talk.  i want to listen.  i want to commune.  i want to fellowship.  i want you!  focused attention.  the greatest gift you can give anybody is your time.  it’s the most precious and the most desired gift, because your time is your life. 

time is your most precious commodity.  you only have a certain amount of it.  you can always get more money but you cannot get more time.  every time you give someone your time, you are giving them a portion of your life that you will never get back.  that’s why the greatest gift you can give someone is your time.  you can’t get it back.  your time is your life. 

JESUS taught that the essence of relationship is not what we do for each other, and the essence of relationship is not what we give each other, the presents we buy and give.  you can do that without having a relationship.  the essence of a relationship is how much we give of ourselves to each other.  that’s what a relationship is all about.  giving yourself.  the greatest gift you can give someone is the gift of self. 

guys, as men, we just don't get this so much of the time.  i can’t tell you how many guys have said to me, “i don’t understand it.  i provide for my family.  they have everything they need.  what more could they want?”  they want you!  your eyes, your ears, your time, your attention, your presence, your focus.  they want you.  nothing can take the place of time.  nothing.  not clothes.  not candy.  not vacations.  not a big house.  not money.  nothing can take the place of your time.  the greatest, the best use of life is love.  and the greatest, the best expression of love is time.  nothing can compensate for it.  listen, we spend all our time working ourselves to death trying to get money to buy things for our kids and kids don't need things.  kids need parents who spend time with them.  i want to say to you young couples.  if you’re not going to raise them, don't have them! 

just a thought from the front porch…

the only thing that is going to last…

GOD says you need to focus on love because the only thing that’s going to last in your life is love.  everything else is eventually going to burn up.  it’s going to decay, fall apart. 1 corinthians 13.13 (nlt), there are three things that will endure: faith, hope and love.  and the greatest of these is love. 

we think it’s our achievements people are going to remember.  i hate to tell you this but nobody’s going to remember your achievements.  remember all those trophies you got in little league or drama club, speech club, bowling trophies.  they’re all going to be trashed.  people don’t really care about your accomplishments.  we know this.  we just forget it. 

in watching people in the closing moments of their life i’ve never had one person say, “bring me my diplomas!  i want to look at them one more time….  get me that gold watch i got for twenty-five years of service!  show me my awards.  show me my medals.”  what do we want around us when our life is ending?  people.  people who love us.  people who have a relationship with us. 

here’s the point: you are eventually going to figure out in your final seconds that what matters are relationships.  so why don’t you figure it out sooner?  the only thing that matters is relationships.  when you get to heaven GOD is not going to say, “now what was your career?  what did you accomplish in it?  GOD is not going to say, “can i see your bank balance and how much you’ve got in your stocks and bonds portfolio.”  GOD is not going to say, “by the way, what about the hobbies that you enjoyed while i put you down on earth?” 

what HE’s going to say is, “how did you treat other people when you were here on earth?”  read matthew 25. 

now i suggest that from this day forward for the rest of your life when you wake up in the morning, you set down on the edge of the bed and before you get off that bed you pray this prayer, “GOD, whether i get anything else done today and i may not get anything else done, but i want to make sure today i spend some time loving you and loving other people,” because that’s what life is all about.  if you miss that you have missed the point of life, and that day is a failure, that day is a waste.  why should GOD give you any other day if you wasted this one?

the greatest use of life is not achievement.  it’s love.  the problem is we get busy and we forget what we intuitively know.  GOD’s first law of relationships is the best use of life is love. 

just a thought from the front porch…

love is what life is all about…

human beings have an amazing capacity to both remember and forget.  we remember every single little hurt we ever had in life and we always forget the lessons.  we have to learn the lessons over and over and over again.  we need to pray like david prayed in psalm 39.4 (nlt), LORD, remind me how brief my time on earth will be.  and in psalm 90.12 (nlt), teach us to make the most of our time. 

now there are some truths that we need to remember to help us to focus our lives.  if you do you’ll have a happier family.  you’ll have a more productive business.  there will be far fewer divorces and separations in our culture, if we will just listen to what GOD has said about relationships.

one of these truths is that the best use of our life is love.

1 corinthians 14.1 (nlt) says, let love be your highest goal.  make it your number one priority. make it number one!

GOD says love is what life is all about.  1 corinthians 13.3 in the message paraphrase, no matter what i say, what i believe, and what i do, i'm bankrupt without love. if you don’t have love, GOD says you’re bankrupt.

too often we act like loving relationships are something we have to squeeze into our schedule as if they are an important part but just another important part along with many other things.  wrong!  GOD says loving relationships are your life.  it’s all about love. 

one day a guy comes to JESUS and says, “i need cliff notes on the bible.  summarize the bible for me.”  JESUS says, love GOD with all your heart and love your neighbor as yourself.  in a word, JESUS is saying the point of life is “relationships”. if you miss that you miss the point of life.  that’s the bottom line.  what matters most is loving relationships. 

now if that’s true, why do we always allow our relationships to get the short end of the stick?  when we get overloaded we start skimming relationally.  we fulfill all kinds of other commitments but we don’t give our relationships the time, the energy and the attention they deserve because we’re too busy with what we think are more important pressing matters. 

why do we do that?  because we focus on the urgent rather than on the important and i hope you know the difference by now.  not everything that’s urgent in your life is important in your life.  so as a result we spend all of our time focusing on making a living, getting the job done, finishing the work, paying the bills, making progress, accomplishing the goal as if that’s the point of life.  it is not.  the point of life GOD says is love.  the point of life, GOD says, is relationship. 

just a thought from the front porch…

four actions for dealing with difficult people…

JESUS gives us four actions for dealing with people who antagonize us. matthew 5.44 in the king james version, love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who despitefully use you.
pray for them.

now there are four things there. you say that you love them, you bless them, you do good to them and you

let me give you a little secret, if you will do the last one first, the other three will come automatically. it will be much easier.

if you will start praying for those people who irritate you on your job or at home or at school, if you start praying for them, it is much easier to love them and to bless them and to do good to them because you cannot pray for someone without having your attitude eventually change, because god starts working in your own heart.

you see the bible says that love is not irritable

when the world puts pressure on you at work, if you are filled with love, love comes out. if you are filled with anger when the world puts pressure on you, anger comes out. if you are filled with self when the world puts pressure on you self comes out. if you are filled with frustration.

it is whatever is inside of you, that is what will come out of you. whatever is inside the toothpaste tube, when i squeeze it, that is what is going to come out. whatever is on the inside is what will spill out at work.

you see, if you are filled with love almost nothing will irritate you. that's why i said the mark of maturity is that you don't get offended easily. your feelings aren't hurt easily. that's a mark of maturity.

when you're filled with love almost nothing irritates you. when you are filled with anger almost anything irritates you. almost anything tics you off. it's like holding up a fuse to a box of tnt or dynamite, it’s just waiting to be set.

just a thought from the front porch…

two things that GOD wants us to understand…

in dealing with difficult people at work, respond with love. that's the bottom line. in spite of their behavior, in spite of their attitude, you respond with love.

with every person you meet this next week, GOD wants you to understand two things, one, GOD loves them. i know that that may be hard to believe but GOD loves that jerk at work. in fact, GOD loves that jerk at work as much as HE loves you. now that is hard to believe, i know that but GOD loves unconditionally.

and not only that but GOD wants to teach you how to love the unlovely. you see the bible says GOD is love and if we are to become like GOD then we've got to be loving.

it is easy to love people who are lovely. it is easy to love people who get along with your personality. it is difficult to love the unlovely but if GOD is going to teach you genuine love, HE is going to put you around some unlovely people. that is why they are there. GOD wants to teach you, real genuine love.

now love is giving a person what they need not what they deserve. that doesn't mean that you automatically give into them. sometimes the last thing they need is for somebody to keep on giving in.

the last thing a steamroller needs is for you to lay down. ok. tough love is what that person needs.

sometimes the most loving thing to do is to call their bluff and say, now look, you have run over five other employees, you're not going to do it anymore.

somebody has got to care enough to confront. somebody has got to care enough to stand up to them and so that is what it means to be loving. it doesn't necessarily mean to give in.

just a thought from the front porch…

don’t demand perfection of others…

colossians 4.6 (niv) says, let your conversation be always full of grace.

what paul is saying is, “don't demand perfection of others.” when you realize that you have been the recipient of grace, you need to be gracious to everybody else. don't demand perfection of your spouse. don't demand perfection of your children. don't demand perfection of other church members. don't demand perfection of business associates.

the fact is, we're all in the same boat. we're all in need of forgiveness. we need it desperately and GOD offers it to us. allow yourself and other people to make mistakes.

people will say, “what about matthew 5.48 (niv)? JESUS said, be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly FATHER is perfect.” now, you always interpret a verse by two things: the words, the root words, the meaning of those words – in this case the word perfect, and the context – what is it saying in light of the whole chapter?

the context of the passage: it says, be perfect, therefore... always find out what the therefore is there for. JESUS is saying, “in light of everything I've just said, be perfect. right before it, HE's talking about loving unlovely people. HE's saying that love is the essence of perfection. paul repeated it in colossians 3.14 (nkj). he said, love is the bond of perfection.

when i love GOD, love others, love myself, i am being perfect. i'm fulfilling the purpose for which i was made.

that's why JESUS said, the whole bible can be summed up in two statements. love GOD with all your heart and soul and love your neighbor as yourself. if you do those two things, you've got it! paul said, love is the bond of perfection. put on love. he's not saying, “make up a bunch of rules and restrictions about external behavior, do's and don'ts: don't drink, cuss, smoke or chew, run around with girls that do. don't do nothing!” he's not saying that! he's saying be perfect in love. we are to share GOD's grace by loving HIM and loving others.

just a thought from the front porch…

a tremendous realization...

let’s review the basics:

1) there is nothing that you can do that will ever make GOD love you more than HE does right now already. nothing.

2) there is nothing you can ever do that will ever make GOD love you any less than HE already does right now. you can’t make HIM love you less because HIS love is based on who HE is – a loving GOD.

every one of you – every one of us – have an area of habitual failure. that’s the sin you keep stumbling over. it’s that habit. it may be your temper. it may be your words. it may be lust. it may be impatience. a million different things. but it’s an area that you just keep stumbling over. so here’s what happens:

when you blow it and you fail in that area, you come to GOD and say, “GOD, i’m so sorry. please forgive me.” and GOD says, “of course I forgives you.” if we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and purify us from all sin. 1 john 1.9 (niv)

then the next day you go out and blow it again. you come back: “GOD, i did it again. i’m sorry. i need forgiveness. i need cleansing. and i need your power to change.” GOD says “ok.”

on the third day, you’re starting to get a little nervous. you’re coming back with the same sin. “i’m really sorry.” and GOD says, “i forgive you.” ten minutes later you do it again. now you’re really embarrassed. i hate to come back to GOD. you tend to even stop asking for forgiveness because it’s the same thing over and over. you think GOD’s sitting up in heaven saying, “the same ones? can’t you think of any new sins to do? you’ve got the same old sin over and over. how boring!” and you say, “how can i ask GOD to forgive me?

i keep falling and falling in this same area.” you sometimes even stop asking for forgiveness because you don’t think you’re ever going to change.

two things about that area of habitual sin:

1) GOD never gets tired of forgiving you. HE will forgive you fifteen hundred times a day if you were SPIRITually sensitive enough to ask. GOD does not get tired of forgiving you for the same sin over and over. it is GOD’s nature to be forgiving.

2) if you’re really serious about changing an area of habitual failure, here’s the key: you’ve got to find someone who will hold you accountable. you say, “anything but that! i don’t want to tell anybody about that.” that’s why you can’t change. the bible says, GOD gives grace to the humble. your pride is keeping you from changing. you can’t figure it out. if you could, you would have changed ten years ago and you haven’t. it’s still there. as long as you think, “me and JESUS. i’m going to figure it all out and i don’t need anybody to tell me what it’s all about,” you’re not going to change.

just a thought from the front porch…

the end results are worth it…

proverbs 24.26 (tev) says this, an honest answer is the sign of a true friendship. real friends speak the truth. they tell their friends what they need to hear not what they’d like to hear. sometimes love must be tough. sometimes love hurts. it hurt JESUS to die. that’s the kind of love JESUS had to die for you. but the end results were worth it.

proverbs 28:23 (lb) says, in the end, people appreciate frankness more than flattery. it says, in the end – because they never appreciate it in the beginning. they don’t. if i were to point out things in your life that needed some correction, you wouldn’t appreciate it. you would be resentful. you’d be rebellious. you’d be stubborn about it. so would i. we never appreciate it at the start. it’s only in the end that we appreciate it.

do you know somebody maybe in your extended family who’s overbearing and controlling and nobody’s ever spoken the truth to them about it? do you know somebody who’s wasting their life and they’ve never been confronted? is there someone you love, you care about, who’s flirting with temptation, and are you going to just sit there silently and let it get worse? do you have a friend who is a gossip and a divider and is divisive and they love to spread rumors, but nobody’s ever had the courage to say, “stop it! you’re hurting people with your gossip! nobody’s ever had the courage to say, stop it!”

if you want to move to the highest level of loving, i invite you to pray this prayer: “dear GOD, this is scary. you know how much i fear speaking the truth sometimes. i hate conflict. i don’t like rocking the boat. but i see what is going on, and i know it’s not right. please, give me the courage i need to talk to that person. help me to check my motives first. help me to find the right words and the right time to say it. help me to be positive and wrap the truth in love and affirmation. i am willing to risk rejection in an attempt to save this relationship. i’m willing to face the pain or anger because i love this person and i really do want what’s best for them. i ask YOU to use me in this most difficult expression of genuine love. help us as we go through the tunnel of truth. in JESUS’ name. amen.”

just a thought from the front porch…