the most important word in the bible…

how do you deal with perfectionism? what the cure?

there's only one cure for perfectionism. it's one word, the most important word in the bible: grace.

until you understand what grace is all about, you're going to battle the paralysis of perfectionism, trying to do better and still feeling like you come up short.

the root of perfectionism is a misunderstanding of what GOD's like. growing up, every one of us were conditioned by what psychologists call conditional love. when we were a good little girl/boy we were rewarded with love and affection. when we were bad, we were punished with rejection. so as a result we got quickly in our mind that we've got to earn acceptance. the problem is that we take it and transfer it to GOD. we think GOD is the same way that everybody else is. if i'm good, GOD accepts me. if i'm bad, GOD rejects me.

but the fact is, the bible says in romans 5.8 (kjv), while we were yet sinners, CHRIST died for us. the bible says that GOD loves you just as much on your bad days as HE does on your good days, because HIS love is not based on your performance. the path of performance is not the way to GOD. it's grace. that's the most important theme in the bible. grace.

GOD says, “i accept you because i've chosen to accept you, not because you deserve it but because you need it.” ephesians 2.8 (niv) says by grace you have been saved, through faith.

some people see GOD as a cruel, unreasonable parent. as a kid they could never please their parents and they've transferred that to GOD. they'd get a “c” and their parents would say, “you could get a ‘b’.” they'd get a “b” on their report card and their parents would say, “you could get an ‘a’.” finally they'd get an “a” and say, “is that good enough?” and their parents would say, i’ll tell you when it's good enough.” they had an unreasonable demand which could never be satisfied.

they think, “if my parents were that way, surely GOD must be that way.” we invent an unpleasable GOD who cannot be satisfied no matter what we do. that's the number one reason people avoid GOD and the number one reason CHRISTians get depressed. they do not understand what GOD is all about, that GOD does not base HIS acceptance on who they are and what they've done.

just a thought from the front porch…