forgiveness and conflicts…

now in dealing with this problem of conflicts with other people, james here in chapter 4 says to give in to GOD, get wise to satan, draw closer to GOD and then be willing to ask forgiveness.  this is very difficult for a prideful person.

if you want to stop conflicts in your life, if you want to get along with other people, learn to ask forgiveness from GOD and from those you’ve hurt.  james 4.8-9 (niv), wash your hands…and purify your hearts.

our hands represent our conduct and hearts represent attitudes.  he’s saying, clean up your act.  and then verse 9 (nlt), let there be tears for what you have done.

in other words, don’t minimize what’s happened.  take it seriously.  be sorry for your self-centeredness.  it’s a big deal when your wife’s feelings are hurt, or your husband’s, or kid’s.  take it seriously.  if someone says you’ve hurt them, you’ve hurt them.  it may not be a big deal to you, but it is to them.  be willing to ask forgiveness.

now is there someone who keeps coming to mind while we have been dealing with conflict?  would you like to begin to resolve the conflict with that person?  how do you do it?  are you willing to go and apologize for your part?  maybe they are 95% wrong and you are only 5% at fault, but you take care of your 5% and let GOD handle the other 95% in their life.  their response is their response.

“i know we’ve had our differences and i know i haven't always been thoughtful.  a lot of times i’ve thought more about myself than your needs.”  how humbling that would be.  right?  because GOD gives grace to the humble!

if you want to change, the only way you're going to change is to want to be humble and the only way to be humble is to go and ask forgiveness. 

it’s hard but do you want to change?  do you want to reduce the conflict?  maybe the way you do it is by cracking the door open by your taking the first step even if they are primarily at fault.  admit what you’ve brought into the relationship that was wrong.  it’s humbling, sure but GOD gives grace to the humble.

maybe this week you need to write a letter, make a call, make some restitution even to that person that irritates you – joyce landorff calls an irregular person – those heavenly sandpapers that irritate you.  take the first step.

just a thought from the front porch…