newsweek awhile back had a cover article called stress on the job. what you and your boss can do about it. it had on the cover, dagwood bumstead being twirled around by his boss in midair.
it’s interesting as you read through it that the number one source of stress is people. in your work situation, difficult people. and there are five different kinds of difficult people to deal with.
#1. demanding people.
#2. dishonest people.
#3. disagreeable people.
#4. defensive people.
and #5 demeaning people.
so how do you deal with people like that?
well, the bible says, first of all realize that you can't please everybody. you can't.
romans 12 verse 18 (niv), if it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.
listen, there are some people that you can't please? no matter what you do, no matter what you try, no matter how nice you are to them, you just can't please them. they are unpleaseable. you can't please everybody but you also don't need to please everybody.
look at this verse, proverbs 29.25 in the good news bible, it is dangerous to be concerned with what others think of you.
it is an emotional trap when you start worrying about what other people think. you don't have to please everybody anymore.
you see there is a myth that says, i must be liked and approved of by everybody in order to be happy. but it's just not true. you can be happy in spite of people who still don't like you? you don't have to have everybody in the world's approval in order to get along? you don't need it.
folks, we buy things that we don't need with money that we don't have to impress people that we don't even like. and that is dumb. that just is dumb.
just a thought from the front porch…
2 comments:
Hi Bill,
Good thoughts. I am the co-author of the book "Dealing With People You Can't Stand, How to Bring Out the Best in People at Their Worst" (Brinkman & Kirschner, McGraw-Hill)
I agree with you that you can't please everyone and you should try to live in peace.
You basically have 4 choices with difficult people:
1- Do nothing and suffer
2- Leave or get them to leave (In our research we found geography to be the #1 coping strategy with difficult relatives)
3- Change your Attitude
4- Change your Behavior
If you are stuck working or living with someone who is difficult then an attitude adjustment and behavioral change is in order. Communication is like a phone number, you need all the digits to get through and you need them in the right order.
There are "phone numbers" / strategies that will consistently work when people are whining, negative, attacking, sniping, withdrawn, etc. That's what our book is about.
If any of your readers would like to hear a free audio seminar on the subject it can be accessed at:
http://rickbrinkman.com/dealingwithpeople
Thanks for your thoughts and nice visiting you on your front porch. ;-) All the best to you Bill and God bless.
Dr. Rick Brinkman
thanks,rick for your comment and addition. this is a very needed area for people. i will be dealing with this for awhile so you are welcome to come back and add to the conversation.
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