a desire that causes conflict…

we are looking here in james 4 at one of the great problems in our relationships.  verse 1 (ncv),  do you know where your fights and arguments come from? they come from the selfish desires that war within you.  our conflicts, our arguments come from the fact that we have competing desires.   so what are these desires?

one of them is found in verse 2 (cev), you want something you don’t have. and you will do anything to get it.  you desire to have.  this is called materialism. 

now GOD created things for us to use and to enjoy.  HE made them for our good.  we are to use things and to love people.  but the problem comes when we start loving things and using people.  we get it backwards.  loving things and using people – manipulating them, controlling them, moving them around to get what we want because things become more important in our life.  that can cause conflict when it becomes number one in your life.

gallup has said that 56% of all marriages that end in divorce end because of money problems.  this desire to have becomes a battlefield.  “why are you working all the time?  we never have time together anymore.”  “but we have to have this big house, all this stuff, all these cars.  and i have to work long hours to get it so we can be happy.  why don’t you appreciate what i’m doing instead of nagging me all the time”

now the problem is, no matter how much we have, it isn’t enough.  someone asked howard hughes one time, “how much does it take to make a man happy?”  and he said, “just a little more.”  some of the saddest people are those who work so hard to get all this stuff, thinking it would make them happy but after they get it they find that it didn’t work and their relationships are in shambles.

the selfish desire to have causes arguments and it doesn’t satisfy.

just a thought from the front porch…