the day of love...

i understand why this would be a day that a woman would say is unnecessary, that everyday should be a valentine's day but from a pragmatic standpoint it is needed.

i don't know if you realize it but nowhere does GOD command a wife to love her husband but in ephesians 5.25 (niv) HE strongly suggests, husbands, love your wives. so if we as men have to be commanded by GOD then we need a day to help us, to remind us, to nudge us to express our love. don't you think it may be a good idea, ladies, to have some help?

now in reality we men are very ego centered. we want to be taken care of, our needs, our desires, our expectations to be met. but the truth is GOD doesn't see it that way. HE doesn't let us men get off with the excuses we like to give.

i like how the message paraphrase puts this verse. it says, husbands, go all out in your love for your wives, exactly as Christ did for the church—a love marked by giving, not getting. we men really need that reinforced in our lives don't we?

now we have been looking the past couple of days at this matter of forgiveness and as a pastor it has been interesting to see the double standard that men have in this area. oh they may have transgressed in their love relationship, maybe had a fling or whatever and when they come back and repent, they of course want, expect and many times get forgiveness if they ask for it. that's what love does, even broken love. but if the wife messes up, no way can they ever forgive them because of what they did to them. there is this double standard.

listen, there is no double standard to love. love is love and there is no double standard to forgiveness. i understand the pain involved in so many relationships but in order to restore you must forgive. and forgiveness is a gift for you and for them.

i know in many marriages the feeling part of love has gone out, especially on the women's side. and for men it is important to realize that the reason most times is because of some pain that you have caused in your wife and the only way for the feeling to potentially come back is to try and go back and find where you have hurt them and to acknowledge what you did and ask them to forgive you and little by little the feelings will come back. but i'm a man. my dad didn't do that. real men don't do that and real men are very lonely beings because of their self-focus, their self-protection.

GOD's idea of a real man is marked by giving not getting.

just some thoughts here on bill's front porch on valentine's day...

by the way i bought margaret a card, made her some coffee and got her a vanilla cream filled and a boston cream filled donut from dunkin donuts. you can't say that i'm not romantic.