affirmation and expectation…

you bless others with your words when you affirm them expectantly.

show courtesy, offer mercy, express sympathy, speak honestly, affirm expectantly.  studies have shown that affirmation and expectation are tremendous tools to bring out the best in other people.  we tend to live up to what other people expect of us.  when people raise our value by expecting more of us we tend to do that.  by affirming and expecting you actually encourage. 

the bible says in 1 thessalonians 5.11 (niv), encourage one another and build each other up.  you never know when little simple word of encouragement is going to change somebody’s life.  it may just be throw away phrase to you but it can alter someone’s destiny.

let me give you four ways to bring out the best in people around you.  i don’t care if you’re a parent or you’re a coach or you’re a teacher or you’re an employee or you’re a student if you want to bring out the best in your friends, if you want to bring out the best in your children, in your loved ones you need to do these four things.

1.  admire their uniqueness.  i’m not just saying tolerate it.  i’m not just saying accept it.  i’m saying admire the fact that they are different from you.  they are not you and admire the differences. 

2.  appreciate their value.  that brings out the best in other people.  if you’ve ever bought a home in orange county you know the meaning of the word “appreciation.”  appreciation means to raise in value.  if you’ve ever bought a car you know the meaning of “depreciation.”  because the moment you bought it and drove it off the lot it lost value.  men, every time you appreciate your wife or your girlfriend, you raise her value.  parents, every time you appreciate your children, you raise their value.  to appreciate means to make them more valuable.  in your eyes and in everybody else’s eyes.  you bring out their best through appreciation. 

 3.  assign them a challenge.  i’ve learned this having been an employer and a staff manager for many, many years.  you give somebody a project that stretches their ability and forces them to grow.  we tend to only do the things we think we’re capable of doing.  when you assign somebody a project that is too big for them it stretches them and they grow and they realize, i can do this.  so you bring out the best in people by throwing them in the water and saying swim!  and by giving them a job that is way over their head so that they grow into that job.  you assign them a project.

4.  affirm their ability.  that’s how you bring out the best in other people.  you say, “you can do this.  i know you can do this.  you are empowered to do this.  i believe you can do this.”  you give them confidence.

just a thought from the front porch…