it’s all in the way you say it…

in confronting someone in love you plan when you’re going to talk to then, what you’re going to say to them and then you plan how you’re going to say it. this is also very important. proverbs 1218 (tev) says, thoughtless words can wound as deeply as any sword. wisely spoken words can heal. it’s all in the way you say it. if you say it thoughtlessly, it’s probably going to hurt them. but if you think it through and think how you’re going to say it and when and what you’re going to say, then that has the potential to heal them.

now there are some things that work for the best response. there are different ways to say it if you want the message to get through to the person you love.

first of all, you say it tactfully. proverbs 16.21 (tev) says, a wise mature person is known for his understanding. the more pleasant his words the more persuasive he is.

here’s the point: i’m never persuasive when i’m abrasive. if you want to get the message across, you don’t say it offensively. that will be received defensively. you don’t say it rudely, arrogantly, angrily, in frustration, in irritation, in annoyance. you don’t say it like that. you say it pleasantly. the more pleasant your words, the more persuasive you’ll be. you say it with tact. you let it come out but let it come out in a way that is pleasant and pleasing and positive.

just a thought from the front porch…

what are you going to say?…

another thing you do in confronting someone you love is to plan what you’re going to say. proverbs 25.11 (cev) says, the right word at the right time is like precious gold set in silver. if you’re going to plan what you’re going to say to this friend, you want to plan two things: you want to plan your introduction and you want to plan your illustrations.

now your introduction is very important. how you introduce a touchy subject will determine whether it’s going to be received well or whether it’s going to be rejected. in other words, if you want to talk about how the house needs to be cleaner, you wouldn’t start by saying, “the roaches are begging for raid!” or “this place is a pigsty.” or some other sarcastic remark. sarcasm never, ever, ever works. you choose the right introduction. how am i going to broach this subject?

then you need to have some good examples ready. for instance… have your illustrations ready. but you need to choose illustrations that that person understands, not just ones that you particularly like.

if you’ve never read anything about this, a good book is the language of love. it talks about seven different kinds of love languages. we all hear things differently. you need to choose the illustrations that are appropriate for the person you’re trying to deal with. plan what you’re going to say in advance.

just a thought from the front porch…

words without love are empty…

if i don’t live a life of love, nothing i say will matter.

1 corinthians 13.1 (nlt), if i could speak in any language in heaven or on earth, but i didn’t love others i would only be making meaningless noise like a loud gong or a claiming symbol. GOD says words without love are just noise. words without love are empty.

we’re really impressed by great speakers, great communicators. we love eloquence. we love charisma. we love to hear somebody really ring our chimes and really stir us. GOD says, “that doesn’t impress me at all. I don’t care how good of a communicator you are. I want to know if you love. is your life a life of love?” living a life without love means nothing i say will matter.

if i don't live a life with love, nothing i know will matter.

1 corinthians 13.2 (nlt), i may have the gift of prophecy. i may understand all the secret things of GOD. i may have all knowledge. but if i do not have love, then i am nothing.

you may be phi beta kappa, a mensa member, you may be brilliant, a walking bible encyclopedia, have incredible knowledge of science or math or literature or history. you may be a genius. but he says if you don’t have love in your life, all that you know is worthless. it doesn’t really matter. brilliance without love equals zero.

we live in a world where knowledge is exploding. it doubles about every six years in our society. we are smarter than we’ve ever been before than any other generation. but we still have the same old problems – war, terrorism, crime, abuse, prejudice, hatred, violence. why? because what the world needs is not more knowledge; it needs more love. without love, nothing i say will matter, and without love, nothing i know will matter. all the knowledge in the world can’t compensate for it.

just a thought here on the front porch…