i really have to have it...

now in this matter of arguments coming from each one wanting what they want or as the new international version of james 4.1 says, fights and quarrels…come from your desires… so a good question would be, what are some of these wants or desires?

well the bible makes very clear here and other places in scripture that there are three basic desires we have that cause conflict. these desires are legitimate desires unless they're out of control. they are GOD given desires but when you put them above other people, when they become number one in your life, they will cause conflict. so what are they?

one of them is the desire to have. i am never satisfied, i have to have more. james 4.2 (ms), you lust for what you don't have and…you want what isn't yours.

now GOD in his love for us created things to be used and to be enjoyed by us. HIS plan is for us to use those things and to love people. but the problem is when we start loving things we mess up everything. we start loving things and using people – manipulating them, controlling them, moving them around to get what we want because things become more important in our life. and when this desire to have becomes number one in our life that creates conflict.

it is not by accident that gallup says that over 56% of all marriages that end in divorce end because of money problems. things become a battleground.

but here is the problem. i am reading a book published by mcgraw hill called influencer – the power to change anything – and it tells of a study by dr. daniel gilbert. it seems he found that "most research subjects strongly believe that another $30,000 a year in income would make them much happier. and that adding a 30-minute walk to their daily routine would be of trivial import. and yet dr. gilbert’s research suggests that the added income is far less likely to produce an increase in happiness than the addition of a regular walk."

we, americans, have come to think the constitution says, "life, liberty and the purchase of happiness." but the thrill wears off and all of the things that we have worked so hard to get don’t make us happy anymore.

the book influencer concludes that "the average human being is actually quite bad at predicting what he or she should do in order to be happier, and this inability to predict keeps people from, well, being happier." in other words we fight over things that will not make us happier with the people GOD has put into our lives to make us happier. we have it all backwards don’t we?

listen, GOD has a better way for us.

just some thoughts up here on my front porch…