who is in control here?...

so if pride is the cause of arguments – and that's the case james is making – what is the cure?

the cure for arguments is humility.

james 4.6 & 10 (niv), GOD…gives grace to the humble. humble yourselves before the LORD, and HE will lift you up.

what is grace? grace is GOD's power to change. what would you like to change about yourself? what do you want to change about your relationships, your marriage, your family?

whatever you would like to change, you need grace. you can't change it on your own. you need GOD's power and that's called grace. grace is the power to change and there is only one way you get grace. you humble yourself.

GOD doesn't give grace to people who are full of pride and think, "i can do it on my own." HE gives it when we come and ask, "GOD, i need your help, and that's where we get the power to make the changes we'd like to see.

now in the next few verses, james gives several specific actions that need to be taken in order to stop the fighting. he shows you how to diffuse a conflict, whether it is between you and a kid, you and your wife, husband, you and someone at work.

the first action is in james 4.7 (ms), so let GOD work HIS will in you.

let GOD be GOD in your life. give HIM control. put HIM in charge. yield yourself to HIM. this is the starting point. in other words quit trying to run your own life.

back in james 4.1 (niv) it says, ...your desires that battle within you. james is saying here that conflict that happens with other people happens because you have conflict inside of you. you don't get along with other people because you've got a civil war in your own life. this is the real issue.

so the starting point is you must get peace inside before you can have peace outside. find peace of mind, find peace in your heart.

and the real conflict inside of you is over who's in charge of your life. now if you're in charge, then anytime something comes along that doesn't go the way you want it to go, then you get uptight. you get irritable. you get upset. you want things just the way you want them to go and when they don't go that way, it makes you mad but if GOD's in control, in charge of your life, it doesn't irritate you as much.

let's stop there.

just some thoughts here on my front porch...