the rolling conversational stop…

have you lived as a parent through the experience of your teenager having a driver’s permit? i’ve discovered that permit drivers will point out any kind of driving sin that you make as a parent. one would be the crime of the rolling stop. they point out when you don’t completely stop. that you just roll right on through; you’re in a hurry to go again.

that’s probably a good example of what we do often in our conversations. we only stop long enough to catch our breath and to think about what we want to say next, and then we roll right on through that conversational intersection.

john ortberg in his teaching on relational intelligence tells a great story. he says, “years ago my parents and i were stuck in a room with a mom and her 8-year-old son as we each waited for a family member to show up on family day at college. for one hour, this woman did not stop talking. she made don king look like an introvert. and it’s not because we weren’t sending her signals because we were. nobody would make eye contact with her. we were afraid that might encourage her. nobody was nodding at her. our bodies were facing the other direction. she could not stop talking. it was if she had taken some powerful verbal laxative. her words were out of control. finally after an hour of this her daughter came up stairs and into the room. the woman stood up and said, “gotta go,’ but she kept on talking the whole way out the door. ‘i’ve got so many things to do,’ she told us who didn’t care at all. ‘i’ve got errands to run, i’ve got dinners to fix, i’ve got to pick up your dad. and oh, yes, i’ve got to get some buttons.’ then her 8-year-old son spoke, the only words he’d said the whole hour. he looked at his mother and said, ‘mother, you need a button for your mouth.’ we all felt this was the prompting of the HOLY SPIRIT in the life of that little boy.”

let me give you an idea. why don’t you get a button and put it in your pocket with your change or put it in your change purse. and every time you reach for change and you feel that button maybe it could be a subtle reminder, “stop talking for a minute and value and honor what someone else has to say.”

stop talking and listen. that shows respect. that shows love.

just a thought from the front porch…