a long fuse rather than a short one…

let me ask you a personal question. here it is…how many times at least in the last month would you say, “i have become angry or had an argument?” how many times?

we are starting here on the porch a new focus in answering the question “what is love?.” our new focus is about how you and i can experience what it means for love to be patient. this isn’t just patient with circumstances. this is patience in our relationships, patience with people. it takes you a long time to boil over. you have a long fuse rather than a short fuse.

this is important in our society – learning to be patient. the truth is, anger in our relationships is not something that’s decreasing. it’s more and more increasing. we see each and every day and each and every year new evidences of the increase of violence and anger in our society.

i was reading some quotes this last week about this. this has been going on for a long time. two hundred years ago thomas jefferson wrote, “when angry, count to 10 before you speak. if very angry, a hundred.” a hundred or so years ago mark twain wrote, “when angry count to four. when very angry, swear.” a little change in a hundred years.

you watch most of our movies today, and it’s “when angry, blow them away, right away.”

things are changing, and we need to figure out that all of us struggle with this thing called anger in our relationships. so we’re going to talk some about this.

for those of you who are maybe just leaning back in your chair and thinking, “i got this one covered. other people get angry but not me,” let me take a moment to remind us: anger is expressed in our relationships in a lot of different ways. you don’t have to be a loud person to be struggling with anger. in fact, i was reading a study in american demographics that says in terms of arguments, 23% of people say they openly express their anger, 39% do something to hide or contain their anger (they bottle it up), 23% walk away from the situation. all of which are bad ways to deal with an angry situation.

in anger in relationships, usually we have one of two strategies. some of us are what i would call skunks; some of us are what i would call turtles. you know the difference. a skunk is the one who, when an argument occurs, you sort of spew. everybody in the room knows how you feel. you stink up the place, and you want everybody to know. then there are some of you who are turtles. when the bad times come, your head goes right back in the shell. neither of those ways work. GOD has a better way to deal with the anger we sometimes feel in our lives.

just a beginning thought from the front porch…