shallow, faulty forgiveness…

forgiveness is not my right when i wasn’t the one that was hurt. only the victim has the right to forgive. you can’t forgive people who haven’t hurt you.

i need to talk about this for a second because this is the big fad in america right now. the big fad is to offer blanket forgiveness to anybody, anywhere who’s hurt anyone just in case somebody, somewhere might feel guilty. so we’re out there running around forgiving all kinds of people that we have no business or no legitimate right to forgive.

some of you remember a few years ago a 14-year-old boy who shot and killed three high-school girls in paducah, ky. before those girls had even been buried, their bodies were probably still warm, some well-meaning kids at the high school the next morning put up a sign to the killer that said, “we forgive you, mike.”

those kids meant well, and they probably thought they were doing the CHRISTian thing, but they didn’t have the right to forgive because they weren’t the victims. how do you think that made the parents feel, the brothers and sisters of those girls? they hadn’t even worked through their grief yet. yes, they could come to a place of forgiveness themselves, but somebody was short-circuiting the system illegitimately. those high-school kids had no right to forgive them. they hadn’t been the ones who were hurt.

a few years back a national leader announced that we must all forgive osama bin laden. he said, “i have forgiven osama bin laden.” there’s only one problem. he didn’t have any relatives in the world trade center. he wasn’t the one who was personally hurt. he didn’t have any right to do that. only the victim has the right to forgive.

how would you like it if you had a daughter who was raped and murdered and then i went to the murderer and said, “i forgive you. you’re forgiven.” would that short-circuit anything? yes. would i have the right to forgive that person? no. not at all.

this is shallow, faulty forgiveness. it’s not my place. you can only forgive those who’ve hurt you. and others can only forgive those who’ve hurt them. it’s meaningless to short circuit. if somebody’s house gets robbed, and i go to the robber and say, “i forgive you. it didn’t bother me!”

there is always a cost to sin. and there’s always a cost to forgiveness. and that’s why you have to let it go and you have to reach out to that offender.

just a thought from the front porch…