say it gently…

another way to express your message so it would be received is to say it gently.

the bible says in proverbs 15.1 (niv), a gentle answer turns away wrath. you might even lower your voice when you talk about it. say it gently.

galatians 6.1 (cev) says this, if someone is trapped in sin, you should gently lead that person back to the right path. part of that means just being humble. maybe even qualifying your approach: “i may be totally wrong about this, but…” or “i may be totally off base, i may not have all the facts, i’m certainly not perfect. i’ve got a lot of problems in my life…” you set it up being humble yourself. you’re not coming in as the schoolteacher, the authority, the disciplinarian. you’re saying, “we all need help. i need help in some areas of my life.” say it in a gentle and humble way, so that it can be received in a humble way.

there is an equation that goes like this: truth plus tact plus timing equals transformation. if you want your marriage transformed, if you want your friendship transformed, if you want a relationship with anybody transformed, if you want to help somebody change, if you want to see that life transformed, it takes more than truth. it takes truth plus tactfulness plus the right timing to create the transformation in that person’s life or in your relationship. and you have to say it in a gentle way.

here’s another one, “i was in love with a young man who had a lot of problems. he was a bad boy. an older friend questioned our relationship, but i told him i loved my boyfriend anyway! my friend said gently but firmly, ‘any two people can fall in love. the question is, is it GOD’s will for your life?’ ” at that point i heard the truth, and i knew in my heart that the answer was no. and we broke up soon after. she then said, “now that i’ve been married for 26 years to rick warren, i’m so glad that my friend was willing to give me the hard advice even when i didn’t want to hear it.”

paul says to the 1 corinthians 4.14 (niv), i’m writing these things not to shame you, but to warn you as my beloved children. hear the compassion in his voice? he says, “i know i’m having to beat you up a little bit right now. i know i’m having to point out things you don’t want to hear. it’s probably ticking you off. it’s probably making you angry. but i’m not doing this to shame you. i’m doing this because i genuinely care about you. i’m speaking the truth in love.”

just a thought from the front porch..