comparing and depressing…

in 1 kings 19.4 (niv), elijah said, take my life. i'm no better than my ancestors. the first mistake we make in depression is we focus on feelings not facts. the second mistake he made in depression he compared himself to others. we compare ourselves to others.

inevitably, in counseling people will say “if i could just be like ... then it would be ok.” but when you start comparing yourself to other people, you are asking for trouble.

the bible says over and over, don't compare yourself. everybody is unique. there's only one person that you can be and that is you and if you try to imitate other people and be like them, you're just going to get depressed because everybody is unique and the only person you can be is you. that's all GOD wants. that's all he expects.

so when you start comparing yourself to other people, you will get depressed and you will fall into three traps.

1. we always compare our weaknesses to other people's strengths forgetting that those people might also have weaknesses that you might be strong in. that always happens and it's a trap.

2. we try to motivate ourselves through criticism and condemnation. we do it by “should”ing ourselves. “i should be able to be like that person... i should be able to act better ... i ought to be able to accomplish it ... i should be able to stop it.” as if whipping ourselves verbally is going to motivate you.

if i were to ask you, “do you believe you should go to church every weekend?” you'd probably agree. if i said, “do you feel that motivates you to do it?” it doesn't. nagging doesn't work when you do it on another person. and self-criticism doesn't work either.

3. don't label yourself. we always do that when we get depressed. we label ourselves. instead of saying, “i made a mistake” we say, “i’m a total failure”. instead of saying, “i accidentally tripped” we say, “I’m a klutz!” instead of saying, “i ate too much”, we say, “I’m a pig!” we label ourselves with titles that only make it worse.

elijah said, i'm no better than my ancestors. he was comparing himself and that made him more depressed.

just a thought from the front porch…

GOD is not angry with me…

romans 8.1 (niv), therefore there is now no condemnation for those who are in CHRIST JESUS.

fact: GOD is not angry with me.

GOD did not send HIS SON into the world to condemn it but to save it. john 3.17 (nlt)

so many people i meet are walking around in self condemnation, beating themselves continuously for their past. they won't let themselves go, they won't forgive themselves, much less accept forgiveness from GOD.

there is a church in israel called the church of the flagellation. there are a lot of churches like that in america. you go to church and they beat on you, week after week. a lot of people really don't feel like they've been preached to unless they've been given a verbal spanking and slapped on the hands and whipped. “pastor, that message was so good! it made me feel so bad!” that's masochism to feel like you haven't been to worship unless you you've been run over by a bulldozer.

GOD has made it possible for us to live a life without condemnation. even if there weren't a heaven, it would be worth it to become a CHRISTian just to have a clear conscious, to know that GOD is not mad at me. HE wants to be my friend, not my enemy.

it doesn't say “there are no mistakes for those in CHRIST JESUS or no failures.” obviously CHRISTians fail, they make mistakes. CHRISTians are not perfect, but we are forgiven. if we just stopped right here, closed our computer, that's enough reason in the world to be positive. we are not under condemnation. GOD has made it possible to live a life without condemnation.

just a thought from the front porch…