comparing and depressing…

in 1 kings 19.4 (niv), elijah said, take my life. i'm no better than my ancestors. the first mistake we make in depression is we focus on feelings not facts. the second mistake he made in depression he compared himself to others. we compare ourselves to others.

inevitably, in counseling people will say “if i could just be like ... then it would be ok.” but when you start comparing yourself to other people, you are asking for trouble.

the bible says over and over, don't compare yourself. everybody is unique. there's only one person that you can be and that is you and if you try to imitate other people and be like them, you're just going to get depressed because everybody is unique and the only person you can be is you. that's all GOD wants. that's all he expects.

so when you start comparing yourself to other people, you will get depressed and you will fall into three traps.

1. we always compare our weaknesses to other people's strengths forgetting that those people might also have weaknesses that you might be strong in. that always happens and it's a trap.

2. we try to motivate ourselves through criticism and condemnation. we do it by “should”ing ourselves. “i should be able to be like that person... i should be able to act better ... i ought to be able to accomplish it ... i should be able to stop it.” as if whipping ourselves verbally is going to motivate you.

if i were to ask you, “do you believe you should go to church every weekend?” you'd probably agree. if i said, “do you feel that motivates you to do it?” it doesn't. nagging doesn't work when you do it on another person. and self-criticism doesn't work either.

3. don't label yourself. we always do that when we get depressed. we label ourselves. instead of saying, “i made a mistake” we say, “i’m a total failure”. instead of saying, “i accidentally tripped” we say, “I’m a klutz!” instead of saying, “i ate too much”, we say, “I’m a pig!” we label ourselves with titles that only make it worse.

elijah said, i'm no better than my ancestors. he was comparing himself and that made him more depressed.

just a thought from the front porch…