we deserve better from us…

now james in chapter 4 verse 11 continues in a practical way dealing with the how we are to relate to other people.  he says (msg), don’t bad-mouth each other, friends.  we are good people but we do this don’t we?  but why?

well one reason could be because we want to excuse our own faults.

romans 2.3 (msg),  you didn’t think,(that is usually the first problem) did you, that just by pointing your finger at others you would distract GOD from seeing all your misdoings and from coming down on you hard?

we think by pointing our finger at somebody else, GOD is going to forget what we’ve done.  or when you point out how somebody else has fallen then you don’t look so bad.  we use it as an excuse to blame others.  we love to accuse others and excuse ourselves.

how do we do that?  how do we excuse our sins?  we do that by relabeling them… “i’m not a gossip, i’m just sharing a concern,” “i’m not lazy, i’m just mellow,” “i’m not negative, i’m realistic,” “i’m not unreliable, i’m flexible.”  we have different terminology.  we excuse our sins by relabeling them.  “i’m not critical, i’m discerning.”  we all do that.

james says here, let’s stop bad-mouthing each other or as the new international version translates it, do not slander one another.  let’s start thinking about what we are doing.  people deserve better from us and we deserve better from us.

just another thought from the front porch…

excuses, blaming or coming clean?…

one thing that happened when jacob wrestled with GOD was, GOD brings him face to face with who he is. 

remember, jacob said, “i’ve seen GOD face to face.”  and GOD asked him, “what’s your name?” and jacob had to say it.  jacob – what did “jacob” mean?  schemer.  and in one name, one word, he described his life. 

when you wrestle with GOD you get a new view of who you really are.  and sometimes it’s tough.  but it’s one of the keys of GOD allowing us to become all HE wants us to be.

so when jacob says, “my name is jacob” he is owning up to what he really is.  it’s an act of confession.  it’s a self-revelation.  he’s saying, “i am a manipulator.”  he’s admitting it. 

i wonder if you and i were named for our greatest character fault what would be our name?  “hi, i’m greedy…”  what would be your name?  bitter?  angry?  uncontrollable temper?  lustful?  a user?  “hi, i’m depressed…  i’m fearful … i’m afraid…  i’m gossip…”  what would be your name if you were named after your biggest character flaw?

here’s the insight into this.  you will never be able to change until you openly and honestly and authentically admit your sin, your weakness, your fault, your frailty, your character defect to yourself, to GOD and to other people.

you’re going, “oh, no!  i can deal with the me and GOD thing, but admit it to other people?  why?”  because the bible says, GOD opposes the proud.  if you’re prideful you are in a war with GOD because GOD opposes prideful, egotistical people.  but HE gives grace to the humble.

what is grace?  it’s the power to change.  and one of the most humbling things in the world to do is to go, “this is who i am.  i am a __________” you fill in the blank in your life right now in your mind.  “i am a worrier...  i am a domineering person....  i am a person who runs from conflict...  i am an addict...” admit it.  “i am a manipulator.”  fill in the blank.  stop making excuses if you want to change and stop rationalizing, stop justifying, stop blaming other people.  you’ve got to come clean about what everybody else sees in you but you won’t admit what you really are inside. 

when you come to GOD and say, “GOD, i want to own up to the weaknesses, the filth, the wrong in my life, the dishonesty, whatever it is,” and you come and tell GOD, “this is who i really am.”  GOD is not going to be surprised.  “how could I have missed that.  I made you.  I created you.  I’ve watched every moment of your life.  I watched you being born.  I’ve heard every breath you take.  how did I miss that one?  that was a surprise!  you pulled one over!  I’m really surprised.”  GOD already knows.  you just need to own up to yourself and to others.  this is the most difficult part of change. 

just a thought from the front porch…

excuses and blame…use it or lose it…

matthew 25.24 (niv), the man who had received the one talent came and said, “master, i knew you were a hard man, harvesting where you haven’t sown and gathering where you haven’t scattered.  i was afraid.”

this guy is trying to make an excuse of not doing anything with his life by blaming the master.  he says, “it’s your fault, GOD, that you didn’t give me ten talents.”  GOD says, “you didn’t use the one I gave you.”  blaming GOD will not work.  blaming other people won’t work.  b - lame is how you spell blame – be lame. 

application.  if i don’t use it, i’ll lose it.  matthew 25.28 (niv), take the talent from him and give it to the one who has ten talents.  that doesn’t seem fair.  take the talent from the one who only had one and give it to the guy with ten.  the rich get richer, the talented gets more talented.  that’s life. 

what's the point here?  the point is that GOD has the right to take away anything that i don’t use for HIM and there is a universal law here that if i don’t use it, i lose it.  if i refuse to exercise, i lose my muscles.  if i refuse to think, my brain goes dull.  if i refuse to practice, my talent dries up. if i don’t use it, i lose it. 

the converse is also true.  that if i do use it, i get more.  whatever you need more of, start using what you have for the LORD and it will grow.  do you need more time?  use your time for the LORD.  do you need more energy? use your energy for the LORD and watch it grow.  do you need more intelligence?  use what you’ve got for the LORD and watch it grow.  it’s a principle.  use it or lose it!

just a thought from the front porch…

overcoming your fear of failing...

motivation.  why do we play it safe?  why don't we use the talents that GOD has given us?  the answer is fear.  fear keeps me from using my talents.  matthew 25. 25 (niv), i was afraid and went out and hid your talent in the ground.  afraid and hid are satan’s favorite tactics.  “i could never do that.  i’m not qualified.  i have this fear of failure.” 

remember in school when the teacher would ask a question and you’d think, “i think i know it, but i don’t want to raise my hand because if i give the wrong answer i’m going to look dumb” so you didn’t raise your hand.  self-consciousness.  it’s fear that keeps us from using our talent.  you say, “i failed in the past so i’ll never try again.”  it doesn’t matter where you’ve been.  it matters what direction your feet are headed right now. 

peter and judas were two disciples.  they both committed the same sin.  they both denied CHRIST.  one of them went out, got depressed, and committed suicide.  the other went out, repented of it and said, “i want to start over” and fifty days after peter’s biggest sin, GOD used him on the day of pentecost to preach and 3,000 people were brought into the family of GOD on the day the church was born.  fifty days after peter’s greatest failure he has his greatest success.  he kept on going. 

1954 opening day of baseball season.  milwaukee braves playing the cincinnati reds.  two rookies were in that game.  the first was a guy named jim greengrass.  he got up to bat four times and hit four doubles.  four for four, an incredible start to a career.  but nobody remembers him.  another guy started his career that day.  he went 0-4.  he struck out all four times in the first game.  hank aaron had a slow start.  but who do we remember? 

never let the fear of striking out keep you from taking a swing. you keep on going.  you say, “what will other people think?” don't worry about what other people think! 

the bible says, the fear of man is a snare.  it's a trap.  often we excuse ourselves by pointing to other people saying, “he/she’s more talented. they’ve got all the ability.  if only i had ability like so and so.  if only i had the education/looks like so and so i’d serve GOD.”  no, you wouldn’t because you’re not using what you’ve got.

the point is:  just because i can’t do the spectacular that doesn’t excuse me to do nothing.  one day i’m going to stand before GOD and HE’s going to say, “what did you do with your life?  what on earth did you think you were there for?  I had a plan, I had some things for you to do.  it’s called a ministry. and I made you just right for it.”

just a thought from the front porch…

fear and excuses…

another step to take in making wise decisions is to face your fears.

it is fear that is at the root of all of your indecision.  it is the fear that you will make a mistake, that you’ll fail, that you’ll embarrass yourself.  it’s the fear that you will make a commitment that you can’t keep.  it is the fear that somebody will laugh at me, reject me because of my commitment.  it’s always, always fear that keeps you and makes you be indecisive. 

we don't like to admit that we’re afraid so we make excuses.  moses said “i can't talk.”  gideon said, “i’m too young.”  abraham said, “i'm too old.” 

so what’s your excuse? 

GOD has a dream for your life and JESUS CHRIST wants to be a part of your life.  some of you are saying “i don't have the time, i don’t have the money, i don’t have the experience, i don’t have the education, i don’t have the contacts, i don’t have the resources, if only i were married, if only i were unmarried, if only i were older, or younger, in another country, in another year.....”  it’s fear that’s keeping you from making the decision that GOD wants you to make. 

ecclesiastes 11.4 (tlb), if you wait for perfect conditions, you will never get anything done. 

perfectionism paralyzes potential.  GOD has always used imperfect people in imperfect situations to get HIS will done.  always.  if you’re waiting for that perfect person to come along – they’re not coming.  if you’re waiting for that perfect situation, things to be just right, or certain things to get over before you really get committed to CHRIST – it’s not going to happen.  the basic commitments of life must be made in the middle of the stuff of life.  life goes on.

what’s the antidote to fear?  faith.  romans 8.31 (niv), if GOD is for us, who can be against us?  you trust GOD and start moving.  in spite of the problems, fears, doubts. 

the secret is that you move against your fear, do the thing you fear the most. 

i love to go to amusement parks.  i love them.  one of the rides that is there is the gondola ride.  it is a car that is hanging under a cable that goes up high and takes you from one place to another.  i have some anxiety when i ride that ride.  i can ride roller coasters that go faster and higher than the gondola ride and i’m not afraid of those rides but i am of the gondola ride.  what ride do i always ride when i go to an amusement park?  i always ride the gondola ride because i am going to and the truth is i have to conquered my fear of the gondola ride.

that is what it means to move against your fear.

Just a thought from the front porch…

spontaneous kindness…

proverbs 3.27-28 (tev & ms) says, never walk away from someone who deserves help. your hand is GOD's hand for that person. never tell your neighbors to wait until tomorrow if you can help them now. notice the word never twice in that passage. never walk away from somebody who deserves your help.

the world is full of wounded. i wonder how many people in your life you walk around with who are wounded – the walking wounded. they may not be wounded physically, but they’re wounded emotionally. they’re wounded spiritually. they’re wounded relationally. they’re wounded financially. and they need your love. they need your kindness. you don’t wait for better conditions. you don’t say, “i'll call them in a few days.” you do it now.

when someone loses a loved one, you don’t say, “i’ll wait a while, and then i'll contact them.” when someone you work with gets fired, they lose their job, you don’t say “i'll wait a month, and then i'll contact them.” when someone has a miscarriage, you don’t say, “i'll wait a while, and then i'll contact them.” no, you do it now! spontaneous kindness. seize the moment.

the good samaritan shows that if you want to genuinely become a kinder person, you must be willing to first of all be interrupted. kindness doesn’t happen on your schedule. it happens on their schedule. that’s why they need kindness. at that moment, you’ve got to drop everything you’ve got.

have you figured out that love is often inconvenient? this guy probably missed his sales meeting he was going to in jericho. maybe he lost a big deal because he stopped to help a stranger. love is often inconvenient.

think of the excuses this guy could have given. he could have said, “i’ve got my own problems to think about. my business is important. i’ve got important business to care for. besides – the guy’s probably already dead. i probably can’t help him anyway. it’s probably a lost cause.”

anytime you want an excuse for being unkind, the devil will be right there to give you one. he will gladly give you a thousand excuses on why you don’t have the time, energy, money, effort, whatever to do what needs to be done.

just a thought from the front porch…

we excuse & accuse…

when we’re afraid of admitting our faults we become defensive. we excuse and accuse. we excuse ourselves: it’s not my fault. it’s not my problem. i didn’t do it. we excuse ourselves – i had every reason that this happened. and we accuse somebody else: it’s all your fault. we pass the buck. we pass the blame. accuse and excuse.

now this is not a new thing. they did it back in the first couple. genesis 3.12-13 (ncv) after they’d sinned adam said, you gave this woman to me! who is he blaming? he’s blaming GOD. you gave this woman! he doesn’t even call her eve. and she gave me the fruit so i ate it. that's his excuse. he excuses himself and he accuses his wife. he took it like a man; he blamed his wife. eve replied, the snake tricked me.

now for two thousand years bible scholars have been debating was she talking about adam there? and ever since this relationship, men have blamed women and women have called men snakes.

we hate to admit our faults. we hate to admit our sins. we hate to admit our mistakes and our weaknesses. we deny them, we defend them, we diminish them, but most of all we like to blame somebody else for them. “it’s not my fault!”

now the reason we don’t like to admit our mistakes is we’re afraid that people won’t love us if they see our faults. it’s a fear of rejection. so we try to make excuses.

we hate to admit our mistakes. when you fear your faults and you’re afraid to admit your faults, you become very distant, you become very defensive and you won’t let people get close to you. you wear a mask. you cover up.

i know couples who’ve been married twenty years and they still don’t really know each other. they’re still trying to wear masks, twenty years later. they’re still trying to keep areas – fears – they don’t want to share their fears with each other. they’re hiding their fears even though they’ve been living together 10, 20 or more years. there’s a word for that kind of marriage. the word is misery.

when you’re not free enough to share your fears with those closest to you, you’ve got a problem and it keeps you being defensive. you pretend like everything’s ok.

what are you pretending isn’t a problem in your relationship? you both know its there but nobody talks about it. you’re very defensive about it when it’s brought up. “i don’t want to talk about it.” pretending doesn’t work! pretending prolongs the pain. if you want to be free from your faults you have to face your faults.

just a thought from the front porch…