proverbs 28.23 (nlt) says, in the end people appreciate frankness more than flattery. notice in the end. nobody appreciates it up front. i don’t. i doubt you do. somebody comes up and says, “bill, this is out of whack in your life.” i don’t appreciate that when i hear it. my old selfish nature, my sin nature, my own pride rises up and says, “who are you? you think you’ve got it all together?” if you had to be perfect to be able to point out something wrong in somebody else’s life what would get pointed out? nothing. you don’t have to be perfect to point out something wrong in somebody else’s life. you do have to be open to it yourself – to correction. but you don’t have to be perfect.
when you first hear it, most of us don’t really like to hear the truth. but if we think about it, pray about it and realize “i needed to hear that, i needed it so i could grow, so i could become l what GOD wants me to be.”
frankness is not a license for you to go out and say anything you want, to anybody you want, any time you want. timing is everything. ecclesiastes 8.6 (msg) says, there’s a right time and way for everything. also proverbs 27.14 (niv), if a man loudly blesses his neighbor early in the morning it will be taken as a curse. “wake up! it’s a great day! let’s go jump in the pool!” you’re not going “good morning, LORD.” you’re going, “good LORD, it’s morning!” so timing is everything.
let me give you some rules for dealing with people honestly.
1. compliment in public, correct in private. you never correct a person publicly unless that’s the only, last alternative. you do it in private.
2. correct them when they’re up, not when they’re down. you don’t come in and unload on somebody when they’re tired, they’re fatigued, anxious, it’s the end of the day and they haven’t eaten. what this means is no bombs in bed! you don’t wait until your souse lays his or her head down on the pillow and say, “can we talk?” bad idea! just going off into la-la land and you want to talk about something serious. no. wait until they’ve had a good meal, their tummy’s full, their glucose level is up, they’re relaxed, they’re feeling ok and in that better moment deal with the issue.
3. you must be open to correction yourself. prove that you’re open to suggestions yourself. you don’t have a right to give them the truth unless you have proven you’re open to the truth yourself.
just a thought from the front porch…
