HE understands exactly how you feel…

maybe you're feeling lonely on this july 4th.  holidays can be very lonely days.  maybe you’re not.  if you’re not, praise GOD!  i hope you’ve read through the last few posts here on the front porch because you will need this some day.  i guarantee you.  everybody eventually experiences periods of loneliness.  you will need it some day.

but if you’re lonely right now, what does GOD have to say to you?  HE wants to say first, “I understand exactly how you feel.”  JESUS, the bible says, was tempted in all points as we yet HE sinned not.  HE understood every human emotion.  there were times when JESUS was lonely.  even in the closing moments of HIS life when HE went to the garden of gethsemane to pray, knowing that the next day HE would be crucified on the cross, HE takes HIS three best friends.  even JESUS had a need for human companionship.  HE takes HIS three best friends – peter, james, john – and says, “tarry with me a while, while I sweat this thing out!”  and they fell asleep on HIM.  JESUS comes back and says, “can't even you wait with ME an hour?”  and HE felt all alone.

the next day they took HIM to the cross and nailed HIS hands to the cross.  HE cried out, “MY GOD! MY GOD!  why have YOU forsaken ME?”  because HE was carrying the sins of the world and GOD couldn’t look at sin.  HE was alone.  you think JESUS doesn’t understand loneliness?  HE does.  HE says, “I care about you.  I want to relieve that loneliness.  I want to help you out.”

just a thought from the front porch…

HE understands…

hebrews 4. 15-16 (cev),  JESUS understands every weakness of ours, because HE was tempted in every way that we are. but HE did not sin!  so whenever we are in need, we should come bravely before the throne of our merciful GOD. there we will be treated with undeserved kindness, and we will find help.

HE understands.  HE wants us to know that HE understands. 

notice in the verse it says JESUS was tempted in every way that we are. so he understands.  always. 

did JESUS ever face temptation having to do with anger?  of course.  this is the same temptation.  temptations surrounding self-pity.  absolutely.  same temptation.  temptation surrounding sexuality or fatigue or loneliness.  of course.  all the same temptations.  he understands. 

and JESUS had the freedom to choose.  and the difference is HE always chose to say no to the temptation and yes to GOD.  but HE chose.  so HE understands what we have to go through. 

you get a glimpse into the heart of JESUS and how HE understands by looking at the night before HE died.  HE was in the garden of gethsemane.  some of you remember that in facing the cross the next day HE knew the suffering that was going to happen.  HE prayed a prayer in which HE said, “I don’t want to face the cross.  but not my will but YOUr will be done.”  HE chose. 

and because HE chose to say no to temptation HE can give us that strength.  HE was GOD but HE was in a fully human body so HE understands all of our temptations and even better than that HE never sinned.  that’s where HE’s different from all of us.  HE never sinned.  so HE can help us to overcome temptations in all of our lives.  that’s why you come boldly.  that’s why you come with no hesitation.  because you know HE cares and you know HE has the strength to help.

now in looking at the same example what did the disciples not do?  they didn’t pray and they slept.  that was not the time to sleep, natural desire, it was the time to pray so that they would not give in to the traps that satan had for then and as you know they fell into them didn’t they?

just a thought from the front porch…

just what’s happening right now…

in looking at why many times GOD doesn’t give us an explanation when we ask why, another reason is because we probably wouldn’t understand the explanation even if HE gave it to us.

the reason why is because GOD thinks through eternity.  HE sees everything that’s happened in the past and HE sees everything that’s going to happen in the future and HE knows what’s going on in your life right now. 

and GOD thinks in terms of generations.  we tend to think what’s happened in my life.  and not even my whole life but what’s happening at this very moment. 

i can’t see what happened a year ago or what’s going to happen a year in the future.  i’m only thinking about my pain right now.  GOD is taking it all in the perspective of eternity. 

if GOD tried to explain to you why things happen to you you’re just a cog in the wheel of the huge panorama of history.  so GOD would not be able to explain to you why this happens before this before this and how that thing that happened a hundred years ago is influencing this today and what you’re doing right now is going to influence a hundred years from today.  and on and on.  you probably wouldn’t understand it.

just a thought from the front porch…

what happens when you ask GOD why…

a key to peace in the midst of the storms of your life is to say i’m going to accept YOUr plan, GOD even when i don’t understand it.

a good question to that would be why does acceptance bring peace of mind?  and the answer is because the greatest barrier to your peace of mind is your demand for an explanation.  why is this happening to me?  i want to know.

anytime you ask GOD, why? you are setting yourself up to be disappointed.  because GOD’s not going to explain why everything happens in your life. 

whenever you start saying, “why?  why is this happening to me?  why didn’t this happen?  why did HE allow this?  why?” questions like that you’re setting yourself up to be not be at peace but to be anxious, to be in turmoil.  it always robs your peace.

the truth is you’re probably not going to get an explanation from GOD and one reason is because GOD doesn’t owe you an explanation. 

remember, GOD is GOD and i’m not.  so GOD doesn’t have to explain to me why HE does everything.  HE doesn’t have to report to me, “by the way, would this be ok with you if i do this?  is it ok if i make this little change here?”  HE doesn’t report to you.  you report to HIM.  GOD is GOD and you’re not.  so GOD doesn’t owe you an explanation for why everything happens in your life.  HE’s good and HE loves and HE knows what’s best.

two more reasons tomorrow.

just a thought from the front porch…

live well, live wisely…

james in chapter 3 verse 13 (gnt), asks a good question.  he asks, are there any of you who are wise and understanding?  now if you go to amazon.com and search for books on wisdom and understanding, you will find a lot of authors who think they have wisdom and understanding and maybe they do. 

now for me after i have had a disagreement with someone and i tell my side it is important that they have understanding  more than agreement and if i am searching for advice i want wisdom more that just experience so both are important to me. so i think it is a very good question.

as we’ll see, james here in his nt book not only asks the question but he answers it in the last part of this verse.  he says (gnt), you are to prove it by your good life, by your good deeds performed with humility and wisdom.

he doesn’t say, just go on the internet and find out how many books they have written or find out how much experience they have or how many degrees behind their name.  no, he says, you prove it by your good life, and by your good deeds that you have done and by how much humility and wisdom you showed when you did them.  the message paraphrase puts it this way, live well, live wisely, live humbly.  then it says, it’s the way you live, not the way you talk, that counts.

so let’s get practical here on the front porch.  do you want to live well, live wisely, live humbly?  then your next question will be what does that kind of life look like?  and that is what james in this section shows us. 

verse 17 says (msg), real wisdom, GOD’s wisdom, begins with a holy life.  in other words, a wise person will not compromise their integrity.  so the question is, do you compromise your integrity?  if you don’t then you’re wise. 

so you see, if i’m really genuine, if i’m wise, i’m not going to lie to you, i’m not going to cheat you, i’m not going to manipulate you, i’m not going to be deceitful.  i’ll be a person of integrity because all relationships are built on trust and respect.  i’m wise and understanding.

dr. leonard keeler, the man who invented the lie detector, tested 25,000 people and came to the conclusion that people are basically dishonest.

now i think it is pretty foolish to not tell the truth, to be dishonest.  do you realize how hard it is to remember all of the lies you have said?  it is hard work.  solomon the wisest person whoever lived said in his book of proverbs in 10.9 (niv), the man of integrity walks securely and the message says, honesty lives confident and carefree.  in other words you are wise to not compromise your integrity.

just a beginning thought from the front porch…

your attitude and your understanding…

now when you read a letter you normally figure that the guy is going to warm up and ease into his subject.  he or she is going to have a few preliminaries, opening remarks, and then move into the message.  but james drops a bomb in verse 2.  he announces who he is and then in verse 2 (niv) he says, consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds.

how would you like a letter like that?  “this is a letter from me…do you have problems?  be happy.”  right out front.  bam.  do you have problems?  be happy.  and i’m sure your reaction would be like mine, “what in the world are you talking about?  there is no way i can be happy. you don’t know my situation.  you don’t know my problems.” but that is the way he starts.  but i like that.  he gets right to the point.

now the key is the phrase, found in verse 2 (niv), because you know.  consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance.

your attitude is determined by your understanding.  rejoicing is not just positive thinking but it is based on the facts of life and james tells us first of all that problems are inescapable.

scripture doesn’t say, “if you encounter problems consider it joy” but whenever you face trials – count on it, you are going to have problems.  if you don’t have problems, check your pulse.  it is a fact of life.

JESUS said, in the world you will have tribulation.  peter said, don't be surprised when you have problems.  count on it.  problems are not an elective in life.  they are a required course.  you don’t get out of them by saying you don’t want any problems.  nobody is immune to them.

scott peck’s book the road less traveled… the first sentence is “life is difficult.”  it is.  it is inevitable that you will have problems in life.

just a thought from the front porch…

understanding and validation…

the fact is the people in your life who you least want to forgive, the people in your life you least want to show mercy to are the people who need it the most.  the unlovely people.  the people you don’t want to love.  hurt people hurt people.  if somebody’s hurting you, they’re hurting on the inside.  so here’s the secret of mercy – learn their background.  when you find out the background of people you cut them a whole lot more slack.  you’re much more gracious to them.  you go, “look at what they’ve been through!”  you find out the background of people and the hurts and heartaches they’ve been through you’re going to be a lot more forgiving.  you stop saying, “look how far they’ve got to go!” and you start saying, “ look how far they’ve come.”  if you put yourself in their shoes you might not even be that far with all the pain that they went through.  you start looking at people with the eyes of JESUS.  that’s mercy.

mercy is revolving door.  the more you give the more you get back.  matthew 5.7 (nlt), GOD blesses those who are merciful for they will be shown mercy.  you want GOD to bless your life?  then you start blessing others with mercy. 

another way you can bless others with your words is when you express sympathy.

when you do what the bible says to do in colosians 3.12 (Gw).  as holy people be sympathetic, kind, humble, gentle and patient.  the bible gives us this picture.  we are to weep with those who weep and rejoice with those who rejoice.  it’s a good picture of what sympathy means.  a definition of sympathy is to be able to understand and affirm somebody else’s feelings.  not just their experiences but their feelings.  what they’re going through at that moment.  sympathy says, i affirm what your heart is going through at this moment.  i affirm your problems and your pain.  sympathy is very powerful because it meets two of the most basic human needs. 

first of all it meets a need that every one of us have and that is the need to feel like, i am understood.  someone else understands me.  sympathy says, i understand what you’re going through.  i understand that life is difficult right now. 

sympathy also meets a second basic need we all have right now which is to have my feelings validated.  to realize i’m not so strange.  everybody has these feelings.  i cannot tell you the times when i’ve looked across at somebody else, as a pastor, and said, “everyone feels that way.”  and seen a wave of relief come over the person’s face.  we all have this basic human need to know, i am not weird.  it’s a good thing to know sometimes in life. 

just a thought from the front porch…

kindness and sympathy...

sometimes kindness is just listening. in fact, advice giving can actually be counterproductive to kindness. joe bailey wrote a book on grief, on losing a loved one. he called it a view from the hearse. he says this from his experience: “i was sitting, torn by grief, and somebody came along and talked to me about GOD's dealings of why it happened, of hope beyond the grave. he talked constantly. he said things i knew were true. but i was unmoved, except to wish that he would go away. and he finally did. then another one came and sat beside me, and he didn’t talk at all. he didn’t ask me any leading questions. he just sat beside me for an hour or more, listened when i said something, answered briefly, prayed simply and left. i was moved. i was comforted. i hated to see him go.”

sympathy involves the ears. listening is a form of kindness.

sympathy does two things. it meets two of your basic needs: the need to be understood and the need to have your feelings validated. and both are human needs.

the bible says it like this, galatians 6.2 (nlt), share each other’s troubles and problems and in this way obey the law of CHRIST. what is the law of CHRIST? it’s called the great commandment. love GOD with all your heart and love your neighbor as yourself. do you like sympathy? of course you do. do you like people to sympathize with you when you’re hurting emotionally, physically, whatever? of course you do. the bible says do the same to others.

GOD often allows problems in your life just to teach you to be sympathetic to others. some of the things that come into your life, you wonder, “why is this happening to me?” i'll tell you why it’s happening. GOD sometimes specifically allows certain problems into your life so you can be sympathetic to other people when they go through them and you don’t say things like, “why don’t you just get your act together? why don’t you just straighten up? if you’d just change your beliefs or change your life …” you’ll be
sympathetic to where they are.

2 corinthians 1.4 (lb), GOD comforts and strengthens us in our hardships and trials so that when others are troubled, needing our sympathy and encouragement, we can pass on to them this same help and comfort that GOD has given us. so every problem you go through is an opportunity to learn how to be more sympathetic.

just a thought from the front porch…

empower with your words...

do you want to be an expert listener? learn to pick up those visual cues. learn what it means when somebody crosses their arms. there’s a barrier here. something’s wrong. learn what it means when somebody’s eyes are downcast. they may be saying they had a great day today but something is not there. learn what it means when somebody’s jaw is set. as you get to know someone better and better you pick up even little visual cues. it’s part of being a great listener.

psychologist carl roger said this about understanding and listening, “nothing feels so good as being understood.” that’s true. when i try to share some aspect of myself and my communication is met with evaluation, or reassurance or even worse, distortion of my meaning, i know what it is to be alone. all of us have felt the loneliness of trying to talk with someone and not getting anything back. especially when it’s something important to us.

what do you do? you learn to listen.

now we’ve talked here on the front porch about three things in communication. it starts with what i think. it starts with building through my trust. it starts with the way that i listen. and now the forth the importance of your words

you empower your words. why? because words are the single most important tool given to us from GOD. without a doubt! the book of proverbs tells us that death and life are in the power of the tongue.

in the old testament, in the book of genesis, do you remember the story of a place called the tower of babel? they were trying to build a tower to be like GOD and GOD wanted to halt the construction project. how did he halt it? did he take away their hammers? did he take away their chisels? did he take away their construction plans?

no, he took away their ability to communicate. when he did that, the project crumbled. that’s how important words are.

ephesians 4.29 (niv) tells us they are still important in our everyday lives today. do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs.

words can be used like a tool to smash a window or build a foundation. they’re powerful. sticks and stones can break my bones but words can … break a child’s heart, words can break a husband’s dreams, can break a wife’s love. or words can build.

just a thought from the front porch…