i love what emily kingsley says about disappointment and handling disappointment when your kids don’t turn out the way you thought they ought to turn out – particularly a handicapped child. but this has far more implication than just for parents.
she says, “i’m often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability. to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it and to imagine how it would feel. it’s like this:
when you’re going to have a baby, it’s like planning a fabulous vacation to italy. you buy a bunch of guidebooks and make your wonderful plans. you’re going to see the coliseum, the cistene chapel, the gondolas. you may learn some handy phrases in italian and it’s all very exciting. after several months of preparation and anticipation, the day finally arrives. you pack your bags and off you go to italy. several hours later, the plane lands. the stewardess comes in and says, “welcome to holland.” “holland?” you say. “i signed up for italy. i’m supposed to be in italy. all my life i’ve dreamed of going to italy.” but there’s been a change in the flight plans and they’ve landed in holland and there you must stay.
the important thing to remember is they haven’t taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place filled with pestilence, famine and disease. it’s just a different place. so you must go out and buy new guidebooks and you must learn a whole new language and you must meet a whole new group of people that you would never have met before. it’s just a different place.
it’s slower paced than italy and it’s less flashy than italy. but after you’ve been there for a while and you catch your breath, you begin to look around and you begin to notice that holland has windmills. and holland has tulips. and holland even has rembrandts. but everyone you know is busy coming and going from italy and bragging about what a wonderful time they’ve had there. and for the rest of your life you’ll say, ‘yes, that’s where i was supposed to go. at least that’s what i had planned.’ and the pain of that experience will never, ever, ever go away. the loss of that dream is a very significant loss. but, if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn’t get to italy, you may never be free to enjoy that very special, very lovely thing about holland.”
that principle applies to a lot more than just being disappointed in a child. some of you on your wedding day stood at the altar and you thought you were going to italy. am i right? and you thought, “i am going to italy!” and today you think you went to bangladesh! and if the truth were known there’s some massive disappointment. you hide it. you put on the smiley face. but things haven’t turned out the way you intended them to be, the picture book story, fairy tale ending, happily ever after.
this is a people test! are you going to handle disappointment by complaining and griping and crying and grieving and worrying. or are you going to accept that GOD knows what’s best, that GOD loves you and knows what you need more than you do, and that even the disappointments in your life have a positive purpose whether you understand it or not. it’s a test. are you going to trust GOD with the things that disappoint your life?
isaiah 49.23b (ncv) says, anyone who trusts in ME will not be disappointed.
just a thought from the front porch…
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