let’s review…

think again in your mind of that person that you say, “i’d like to raise their self-esteem.  i’d like to raise their confidence.”  it may be your wife/husband/boyfriend/girlfriend/parent/child/ somebody you work with/friend/relative. 

1.  accept their uniqueness.  are you doing that?  you don’t have to make them like you for them to be confident.  you don’t have to change them.  we need to help people discover and develop their uniqueness.  some of you have kids – you fathers like to play football and your son likes to play chess.  encourage them to be a good chess player.  don’t try to make him like you. accept their uniqueness.

2.  trust them with responsibility.  think of ways that you can say, “i trust you.  i believe in you.”  the sooner you do that in life, the better.  it helps develop confidence.  do less for people and let them do more for themselves.  that’s a compliment.

3.  expect the best.  our expectations can make or break somebody.  we spend a lot of our lives trying to live up to the expectations of others.  there’s tremendous power in that.  when you expect the best in people they tend to fulfill your expectations.  they rise to the occasion. 

4.  affirm their value.  are you doing that?  some of you say, “we’ve got a pretty stable marriage, but there’s no spark in it any more.  i love my wife, she loves me, but there’s no spark.”

acceptance is what produces stability in a marriage.  i accept you, you accept me – unconditionally.  acceptance produces stability, a stable marriage.  but appreciation puts the spark in a marriage.  if there’s no romance in your marriage, i dare you to start complimenting your mate constantly on a regular basis. watch what happens.  the thrill will come back.  there’s power in praise. 

5.  correct without condemning.  learn how to point out error without destroying the person.  don't use harmful words.  use only helpful words that build up.  if you're using putdowns, stop it. 

6.  never give up on them.  JESUS brought out the best in people and HE wants to bring out the best in your life.  as we wrap up this series on confidence, we’ve been talking about your own confidence, today i want to challenge you to become an encourager.  make it your life mission to become an encourager in life, build people up rather than tear them down.  make that your life goal.  i can’t think of a more worthy goal. 

the most important thing you can do for people in life is to tell them about JESUS, that JESUS loves them, JESUS died for them, JESUS wants to make a difference in their lives, HE has a plan and purpose for their life.  help introduce people to CHRIST.  it’s the most important thing you can do for somebody. 

the second most important thing you can do for somebody is to raise their self-esteem.  make them feel worthwhile and valuable. when you do that, you are doing the work of GOD.

just a thought from the front porch…