Saturday, July 6, 2013

they just are unpleaseable…

some of you grew up with unpleasable parents.  no matter what you did you just couldn’t get their approval.  you know it.  you saw it in your dad’s eyes, your mom’s eyes and what they said to you.  if you got c’s on your report card they expected b’s.  if you got b’s they expected a’s.  then they expected straight a’s or extra-curricular activity.  no matter how hard you tried you just couldn’t do it right.  it always just felt like this little bit of shame, this little bit of put down – never measuring up to my mom or dad.  today, even still, subconsciously you’re still trying to earn your parents’ approval.  “i’m going to prove that i’m worth something!”  some of you, your parents are dead and you’re still trying to earn their approval subconsciously.  you’re working real hard, you’re trying to earn it.  it drives you.  you wonder why you’re a workaholic? you’re trying to earn that acceptance, that approval. 
 
if you had unpleasable parents growing up, let me tell you two very important truths.

one, if you didn’t get their approval growing up you’re probably never going to get it.  never.  because it’s not about you, it’s about them.  it’s their lack of self-worth that’s causing them to not accept you.  hurt people hurt people.  so it’s not really about you so if they didn’t give you acceptance growing up you’re probably not going to get it.  you’ve got to let it go.  just let it go.

the second thing i need to tell you that’s even more important is this: you don’t need their approval to be happy.  you don’t need it!  you don’t need the approval of other people in order to be happy.  there are six billion people in the world.  is it ok that two people don’t like you?  i would think so.  especially if it’s their hang-up.  it’s not about you.  so let it go.  quit trying to live for the approval of somebody who’s never going to give it.  start living for GOD who says, “I already accept you.” 

this should be your attitude: GOD likes me and i like me.  if you don’t like me, what’s your problem?  if GOD likes me and HE knows everything about me – the good, the bad, and the ugly and still likes me.  and i think i’m ok.  what’s your problem?  you need to let it go.  stop trying to be such a people pleaser.  live for the love and approval of GOD.  psalm 27.10 (niv), even if my mother and father forsake me the LORD will receive me.

just a thought from the front porch…  

2 comments:

Rum-Punch Drunk said...

One of the hardest things to do in life is drown out the voice of the enemy from telling you how weak, stupid and useless you are in society. It can take years to begin to believe in yourself and accept that there is someone who may love you and want good for you. Some parents have a lot to answer for, or should I say, there will come a time when they will have to give an account of how they lived...

bill williams said...

yes, so true.