Monday, January 20, 2014

Healing or hurting in relationships…

We’re looking at what to focus on to have joy in your relationships.

Step 1.  Focus on giving rather than receiving.  You wonder why there's no joy in your relationship any more.  The focus has suddenly shifted from "How can I serve you?" to "Let's serve me."  Joy comes from making other people happy.  Joy doesn't come from making me happy, joy comes from making other people happy.  God designed it that way.  You're wired that way. 

You say, "When I get home from work, I'm exhausted, I don't have anything left to give."  That's why you need Jesus Christ on a daily basis.  That's why you need His power to give you love when human love and energy runs out. 

Step 2.  Focus on healing rather than hurting.
You're going to be in relationships and you're going to be hurt.  There will be misunderstandings, there will be conflict, there will be apathy, and there will be inconsiderate remarks, even with people you love deeply.  How you handle that hurt will make the difference whether you have joy or whether you have resentment in your life or marriage or relationship. 

The problem is that it is human nature to hold on to our hurt.  Rather than just taking a hurt and immediately dropping it, we hold on to it, we revel in it, we rehearse it in our minds.  If somebody comes up and they slander you, they only said it one time but you rehearse it a hundred times in your mind.  It's dumb to hold onto hurts.  This always hurts you more.

Colossians 3:13 (LB), "Be gentle and ready to forgive; never hold grudges. Remember, the LORD forgave you, so you must forgive others." 

There's no value in rehearsing pain over and over.  For your own sake, quit rehearsing your pain over and over and over.  Choose to release it. 

Just a thought from the front porch…

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