how GOD has wired us…

look at these verses, ecclesiastes 4.9-11 (gnt), two are better off than one, [two people] because together…if one of them falls down, [like to temptation, stumbles and sins or whatever] the other can help him up.  but if someone is alone…there is no one to help him. 

and the next verse in james 5.16 (tlb), admit your faults to one another [that means to your accountability partner] and pray for each other [that’s your accountability partner] so that you may be healed. 

the fact is GOD has wired us to need each other. 

what we’re talking about here is called authenticity, when i share my private or personal sin with one other person.  you don’t have to do it to the whole world.  you don’t have to put up a billboard.  just one other person who will accept you unconditionally and you will accept them.  you love them and they love you and they will be in your corner.  a friend walks in when everybody else walks out. 

now when you tell a friend your sin they don’t rub it in, they rub it out.  they say, “you’re a good egg even if you are a little cracked.”  that’s what friends do.  and everybody needs one friend like that.  you don’t need a whole lot of friends.  but you need some who say i’m going to love you and i’m on your side no matter what you’ve done.  that’s what’s called CHRISTian friendship. 

you need somebody who says i’m on your side and i want to help you break free from it.  i’m going to hold you accountable and you hold me.  we’ll check up on each other.  we’ll encourage each other.

when you’re honest… when i’m honest with you about a sin in my life that’s called authenticity.  when you’re honest with one other person you’re no longer a fake.  you’re no longer a phony.  you’re no longer a hypocrite.  you’re no longer play-acting.  you’re real.  you’re authentic.  you’re doing the real thing.  you’re keeping it real by being authentic.

just a thought from the front porch…

finding a partner like that…

so many today are so overwhelmed  with life.  maybe you are. 

look at what mary did when she heard that she was to become the mother of JESUS.  luke 1.39 (niv),  mary didn’t waste a minute.  she got up and traveled to a town in judah in the hill country straight to zachariah’s house and she greeted elizabeth.  elizabeth was her cousin.  but that’s not important.  what is important is what elizabeth was. 

one, she was a very GODly woman.  she was married to a priest, zachariah.  she was a very GODly woman so she could pray for mary.  that was a good thing.

second, she was an older woman.  an elder woman so she had a lot more life experience and she could give wise advise to mary.

third, she was also pregnant.  in fact, elizabeth was pregnant with her own miracle pregnancy.  she and her husband had been childless all throughout life and right at the end, GOD made her pregnant through her husband (this wasn’t a virgin birth) and she was carrying JESUS’ cousin, john the baptist.  it was a miracle pregnancy.  she was six months pregnant.

so not only was she wise and older and GODly but she was just a little bit further ahead than mary.  mary was brand new pregnant.  elizabeth is six months pregnant and she can help her younger cousin to go through this situation.

here’s the point, when you’re overwhelmed you need to find an elizabeth.  you need an elizabeth in your life.  what is an elizabeth?  here’s what you look for:

first, a strong believer.  find somebody who is a strong believer, who can be your spiritual partner, your mentor, your co associate through life. 

two, probably somebody a little bit older than you.  they’ve had a little bit more of life experience than you’ve had.

find somebody who’s just a little bit further along than you are.  they don’t have to be perfect.  in fact, you’ll never find a spiritual partner or mentor.  you find somebody whose just a little bit further along than you are and they can help you out. 

everybody needs a partner like that.

just a thought from the front porch…

you don’t need to go it alone…

we have been looking here on the porch at mary the mother of JESUS and some things she did when she heard that she was told by an angel that she was going to be the mother of JESUS.  she was overwhelmed.  she was but she did some things that helped her during this situation.  one of them was she let others help her out.

now this is the opposite of what we tend to do.  when people tend to get overwhelmed they start withdrawing from relationships.  they start pulling back.  they isolate themselves.  they say leave me alone.  i don’t want to be around anybody.  i don’t want to be near anybody.  let me cry in my beer.  let me hunker in a bunker.  i see it all the time.  people start to get a big problem in their life and they start pulling out of church.  they start pulling out of their friendships, backing away from the very thing they need the most in a crisis – other people.  they need other people.

just a thought from the front porch…

revealing and healing…

resources you need in order to fight temptation:

1.  fellowship with other CHRISTians.  you will not make it if you do not have fellowship with other CHRISTians.  we were not meant to fight the battle by ourselves.  get involved with some CHRISTian friends.  get involved in a bible study, a small group.  find a place where you can share, meet some friends, then begin to share on a gut level.  share the problem you’re struggling with.  we’re all in the same boat. 

temptations are common to man.  when you’re able to talk about a problem you are able to get control of it.  revealing your feelings is the beginning of healing.  if you hold it in and you don’t tell anybody, it just gets worse and becomes something that scares you to death.

2.  get into GOD’s word.  the bible is our secret weapon against temptation.  it is the truth.

JESUS said, you will know the truth and the truth will set you free.  do you want to be free from that bad habit?  fill your mind with the bible.  refocus on it.  instead of thinking about what’s getting you down, get your mind on what’s good, whatever is true, and just and holy.

if you know the truth it will keep you from being deceived.  if you want to know how satan attacks, study the bible.

what is the payoff?  blessed (happy) is the man who endures temptation…(it’s that good feeling of self-confidence and self esteem because you realize you’re not being controlled by anything except the LORD)…when he is tried he shall receive the crown which is life…(you begin to enjoy the abundant life)…which the LORD has promised to them that love HIM.

just a thought from the front porch…

you need a friend...

thinking about the other person’s feelings or what they’re going through.  but if i’m going to love like JESUS said to love, one of the ways to do that is to share other people’s problems, to sympathize with what they’re going through in life. 

that has to do with the circumstances in life but most important the faith problems we face in life.  jude 1.22 (msg), go easy on those who hesitate in the faith.  we tend to not share sympathy with those who have faith problems like, what’s wrong with you?  but the bible says go easy on those who hesitate in the faith. 

how many of you have been through a time of doubt as a believer?  everybody.  if you’re going through a time of doubt right now you are not alone.  the bible says don’t patronize those who are going through a time of doubt.  like “what’s wrong with you?  how could you go through this?  how could you...?”  kind of thing.  but instead sympathize with them.  realize we all go through struggles of doubt in our lives.  the bible says this in job 6.14 (niv), a despairing man should have the devotion of his friends.  even though he forsakes the fear of the ALMIGHTY. 

the bible says if you have a friend that says, “i’m forsaking GOD.  i’m giving up on GOD because of what’s happening in my life.”  what do they need?  they need a friend.  they don’t need you to turn your back on them, afraid of those kind of feelings.  they need a friend.  they need to hear words of sympathy. 

there are circumstances that we go through in life where you’re not sure you believe in GOD because of what you’re going through.  you’re so beaten down by life it’s hard to look up to GOD.  maybe you hear that you child is going to be born with birth defects.  and you wonder, “GOD!  where are you?”  or your husband/wife just walked out on you.  you feel like GOD walked out on you.  you feel like how could HE let this happen?  or you got a report from the doctor this week that says it’s cancer and it’s inoperable.  you wonder where GOD is in all that.  in that moment you need a word of sympathy.  you need a friend.  if you know somebody like that they need somebody to come beside them and say, “i understand what you’re going through.  i’m going to walk through this with you.”  GOD has given us words as this incredible, powerful tool to make a difference. 

just a thought from the front porch…

the answer to the question of suffering…

JESUS is the answer to the question of suffering. as one philosopher said, “JESUS is there sitting beside us in the lowest places of our lives.” are you broken? JESUS was broken like bread for you. are you despised? JESUS was despised and rejected by men. do you cry out that you can’t take anymore? the bible says JESUS was a man of sorrow. HE was acquainted with grief. did someone betray you? JESUS was sold out for a measly thirty pieces of silver. did you love someone and then have them walk out on you. JESUS loved and then at the end HIS best friend denied him and walked away. does GOD enter into your own private hell? yes, HE does. yes, HE will. corrie ten boom writes this while setting in a nazi concentration camp, “no matter how deep our darkness, GOD is deeper still.”

the really amazing thing is this. JESUS CHRIST is not just some friend who can merely empathize with you and sit beside you in your suffering. if you have put your trust in JESUS CHRIST, he lives inside of you and therefore your suffering is HIS suffering and your pain is HIS pain and your tears mingle with HIS tears. HE says, “I’ll give you the peace and I will give you the very courage that you need.”

psalm 34.18 (niv), the LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. are you crushed in spirit? GOD says, “I offer to save you from this, to draw good from it and bring you to heaven.”

just a thought from the front porch…

the end results are worth it…

proverbs 24.26 (tev) says this, an honest answer is the sign of a true friendship. real friends speak the truth. they tell their friends what they need to hear not what they’d like to hear. sometimes love must be tough. sometimes love hurts. it hurt JESUS to die. that’s the kind of love JESUS had to die for you. but the end results were worth it.

proverbs 28:23 (lb) says, in the end, people appreciate frankness more than flattery. it says, in the end – because they never appreciate it in the beginning. they don’t. if i were to point out things in your life that needed some correction, you wouldn’t appreciate it. you would be resentful. you’d be rebellious. you’d be stubborn about it. so would i. we never appreciate it at the start. it’s only in the end that we appreciate it.

do you know somebody maybe in your extended family who’s overbearing and controlling and nobody’s ever spoken the truth to them about it? do you know somebody who’s wasting their life and they’ve never been confronted? is there someone you love, you care about, who’s flirting with temptation, and are you going to just sit there silently and let it get worse? do you have a friend who is a gossip and a divider and is divisive and they love to spread rumors, but nobody’s ever had the courage to say, “stop it! you’re hurting people with your gossip! nobody’s ever had the courage to say, stop it!”

if you want to move to the highest level of loving, i invite you to pray this prayer: “dear GOD, this is scary. you know how much i fear speaking the truth sometimes. i hate conflict. i don’t like rocking the boat. but i see what is going on, and i know it’s not right. please, give me the courage i need to talk to that person. help me to check my motives first. help me to find the right words and the right time to say it. help me to be positive and wrap the truth in love and affirmation. i am willing to risk rejection in an attempt to save this relationship. i’m willing to face the pain or anger because i love this person and i really do want what’s best for them. i ask YOU to use me in this most difficult expression of genuine love. help us as we go through the tunnel of truth. in JESUS’ name. amen.”

just a thought from the front porch…

when hurt can help...

in confronting someone you love in a loving attitude you start with the correct motivation. what is the right motive? to help, not to hurt. the reason you speak the truth in love, you confront with a loving attitude, is to help the person, not to hurt them. you’re doing it in love.

we see this in paul’s letter to the corinthians. in 2 corinthians 12, he has just brutally been honest with them about things that were out of whack in their lives. he says you need more commitment, this is wrong, it needs to be changed. in chapter 12 verse 19 (nlt) he says, we tell you this as CHRIST’s servants and everything we do dear friends is for your benefit. he says, i’m not saying this just to get a kick out of it. i’m saying it for your benefit.

proverbs 27.6 (Gw) says, wounds made by a friend are intended to help. before we can talk about how to confront someone in love, the issue is, who do i do it with? the answer is real simple – only people you care about. if you don’t care about the person, you don’t go around making yourself the policeman of the world or pointing out error in stranger’s lives. that’s not your job. but if you have proven you love a person, you have a right to point out things that would be for their best. you only do it for people you love. so you only do it with people you want to have a relationship with. if you don’t want a relationship, you don’t do it. you just avoid it. you don’t confront the clerk who’s being a jerk, you just avoid him. or you point out things in people you deeply care about, you see them heading the wrong direction and wasting their life.

if you never confront anyone, you’re never going to be close to anyone. because closeness only comes through conflict and confrontation.

just a thought from the front porch…