the cycle of good intention…

have you been stuck in the cycle of good intention – i want to change – you make the effort – you fail and then you feel guilty about it?  good intention, effort, fail, feel guilty.  you can change.  are you ready to change?  are you ready to change now?

if you’re ready for a change just pray this prayer in your heart. 

dear GOD, YOU know all the habits and temptations in my life that have tripped me up for years.  YOU know all the tempting situations that i’m facing right now.  YOU even know what temptations lay ahead of me this next week that i don’t even know are coming and are going to hit me.  so i’m asking for YOUr help.  but i’m not asking for a miracle.  i’m asking for YOUr strength to take these steps that we’ve been looking at for these past few weeks. 

i am willing to follow YOUr principles so i can change and be free.  help me to clearly see the patterns in my life that lead to temptation.  give me enough strength to start avoiding them and build some boundaries in my life that there’s certain places i don’t go, and certain things i don’t watch, and certain people i don’t hang out with.  LORD, if that means changing jobs or moving so be it.  i want my soul to be saved. 

LORD, help me to remember to refocus my attention when things get my attention and tempt me.  today i commit to finding a spiritual accountability partner who can help me in the specific areas of my weakness.  and that i can help them and encourage them too. 

most importantly, LORD, i need YOU to do some heart surgery on me.  i ask YOU to remove the negative emotions that make me vulnerable to temptation.  would you replace the discouragement and the exhaustion or the boredom or the spiritual dryness and emptiness?  would YOU replace the insecurity and the deep wounds and hurts in my heart?  would YOU replace the resentment, the anger, the sadness, the loneliness with YOUr love, with YOUr forgiveness, and with YOUr confidence.  i want to learn to trust YOU.  i ask you, JESUS CHRIST, to start changing me from the inside out beginning today.  in YOUr name i pray.  amen. 

just a thought from the front porch…

it’s as simple as abc…

breaking a persistent temptation in your life is simple but it’s not easy.  it’s as simple as abc – accountability, boundaries, CHRISTian friends.  you’ve got to have those three things in your life or you’re never going to get over it.  accountability – one person you’re authentic with and honest with.  boundaries – you set up some boundaries that keep you from being in situations where you would be tempted.

a few years back stef our daughter and her husband andrew were in la and they went on sunday to the church where brett and marissa, our son and daughter in law met.  andrew had never seen the pastor, erwin mcmanus but he had read a lot of his books.  well after the service they went up and met erwin and told him that stef was the sister of the guy who had gone to ireland with erwin two years back and he asked who that was and they said brett williams and he was excited about that.

now the reason why erwin wasn’t sure of who it was is because he travels all over the world speaking and one of his boundaries is that he never goes anywhere without another person going with him and at least one of his family members.  he set that boundary to protect himself from temptations when he is out away from home.

you say, but he’s a very GODly man, he wouldn’t do anything like that.  but the truth is given the right situation he is capable of anything.  and by the way, so are you.  if you don’t think you’re capable you are sadly mistaken.  “he who standeth take heed lest he fall.”  you’re setting yourself up for a fall by saying that could never happen to me.  you’re wrong. 

the bible says in the book of jeremiah, the heart is deceitful and desperately wicked.  who can know it? 

that means all of us have the amazing ability to fool ourselves to lie to ourselves.  you know who you lie to the most?  you.  and you tell yourself it’s ok.  it’s no big deal.  when it really is a big deal.

if a person says it’s no big deal, it’s already a big deal because it means they’ve lowered their standard. 

i was also reminded of rick warren and some boundaries that he has set for his life.   rick is a very influential pastor and writer and he said, “when the purpose driven life became the bestselling book in the world it brought in millions and millions of dollars and i had to build boundaries in my life to prevent satan from getting a foothold of greed in my life.” 

do you know what he did?  he stopped taking a salary from the church, he still drove the same old ford, he still lives in the house they’ve lived in for over fifteen years.  he said, “we didn’t spend the money on ourselves.  in fact we give away ninety percent and live on ten.” 

why did he do that?  he said, “because i don’t want to see how close to the edge i can get and not fall off.  it’s how far away from the edge can i get so it’s safe.  because too much is at stake – the lives of thousands and millions of people.  i’d rather die, stick a knife in my heart than shame the name of JESUS CHRIST. 

listen he built boundaries in his life.  you build boundaries in your life.

just a thought from the front porch…

it can happen…

this brings us to the last step in dealing with temptation, which is the hope step.  it’s the good news step.  it’s the faith step.  it is, you must persist in believing you can change.

here’s the good news.  you don’t have to stay the same.  i have watched thousands of people be changed.  i’ve seen it in my own life.  change is possible.  and it is never too late to start over. 

you may have dealt with this habit for fifteen or twenty years or whatever.  but let me tell you how it’s not going to happen.  it’s not going to happen with a miracle. 

some of you have been praying that GOD would just take away the desire.  it isn’t gonna happen.  some of you are waiting for that one experience, that emotional shot, that silver bullet, that pill, that seminar, that sermon, that all of a sudden it takes it away and you’re never tempted again.  it isn’t going to happen.

you can pray.  but that’s not what you pray for, for GOD to just make a miracle and take it away.  HE’s not going to do it. 

so how does GOD take it away?  notice this next verse.  1 corinthians 10.13 (msg), no test or temptation that comes your way is beyond the course of what others have had to face. all you need to remember is that GOD will never let you down; HE’ll never let you be pushed past your limit; HE’ll always be there to help you come through it.

you say, “bill, i was in this situation and i was tempted and i couldn’t help it.  i just couldn’t help it.”  you’re right.  that’s why you need JESUS CHRIST.  that’s why you need GOD in your life.  you don’t have enough power.  you need GOD’s power in your life and you need GOD’s power through a friend, a CHRISTian friend, who is JESUS in the flesh for you.  you need an accountability partner and you need GOD’s SPIRIT in your life because you’re not going to get over it on your own. 

it’s not going to happen by a miracle in your life.  it’s going to happen when you commit to these steps we’ve been looking at here for the last few weeks.

just a thought from the front porch…

CHRISTians have two significant differences…

you might ask, does following CHRIST exempt you from temptation?  the answer is no.  of course not.  in fact you’re probably going to be more tempted once you become a believer because you’ve got a big bull’s eye on you and satan hates your guts.  he wants to take you down.

of course you’re going to be tempted.  so if you ever hear some CHRISTian say, “i just thank GOD i haven’t been tempted in twenty-five years.”  it’s just not true.  you’re going to be tempted the rest of your life. 

followers of CHRIST – that’s you and me – we have the exact same problems, same hurts, same fears, same difficulties, same sins, same failures as everybody else in the world.  we just have two significant differences.  one, we realize that because JESUS CHRIST died on the cross for my sins and i can come to HIM and HE will forgive me of any sin that i have done.  so salvation and GOD’s grace in my life means i’ve been forgiven.  that’s a big advantage.  a big advantage!  i have been forgiven.

the second thing i have is, i’ve got a church family.  in a church family i can find other people who say, we’re with you.  we’re going to hang in there with you.  we’re going to be with you.  the church is not a hotel for saints where they dress up for dress parade.  it’s a hospital for sinners.  people who say i want to grow.  GOD says that’s the kind of people i want.

now the most common temptations without a doubt are sexual temptations.  why?  i don’t know if you’ve figured this out or not but everybody is either a man or a woman.  so as a result sexual temptations are the most common temptations. 

not everybody is tempted to do drugs, smoke weed, not everybody is tempted to go get drunk and drive drunk.  but everybody is either a man or a woman.  and satan tries to get those drives and those desires – good GODly drives –perverted, misused or abused.  yet it is the one area of temptation that people least like to talk about. 

i love that line that says you’ve never gone too far for GOD’s grace.

just a thought from the front porch…

how GOD has wired us…

look at these verses, ecclesiastes 4.9-11 (gnt), two are better off than one, [two people] because together…if one of them falls down, [like to temptation, stumbles and sins or whatever] the other can help him up.  but if someone is alone…there is no one to help him. 

and the next verse in james 5.16 (tlb), admit your faults to one another [that means to your accountability partner] and pray for each other [that’s your accountability partner] so that you may be healed. 

the fact is GOD has wired us to need each other. 

what we’re talking about here is called authenticity, when i share my private or personal sin with one other person.  you don’t have to do it to the whole world.  you don’t have to put up a billboard.  just one other person who will accept you unconditionally and you will accept them.  you love them and they love you and they will be in your corner.  a friend walks in when everybody else walks out. 

now when you tell a friend your sin they don’t rub it in, they rub it out.  they say, “you’re a good egg even if you are a little cracked.”  that’s what friends do.  and everybody needs one friend like that.  you don’t need a whole lot of friends.  but you need some who say i’m going to love you and i’m on your side no matter what you’ve done.  that’s what’s called CHRISTian friendship. 

you need somebody who says i’m on your side and i want to help you break free from it.  i’m going to hold you accountable and you hold me.  we’ll check up on each other.  we’ll encourage each other.

when you’re honest… when i’m honest with you about a sin in my life that’s called authenticity.  when you’re honest with one other person you’re no longer a fake.  you’re no longer a phony.  you’re no longer a hypocrite.  you’re no longer play-acting.  you’re real.  you’re authentic.  you’re doing the real thing.  you’re keeping it real by being authentic.

just a thought from the front porch…

be smart enough to change before the pain…

now the sixth step.  if you’re serious about defeating a persistent pattern in your life that has defeated you for years and years you have to take this next step.  pick an accountability partner.

the reason why most people never break free from their habits is they’re unwilling to do this.  pick an accountability partner. 

now you need to see the importance of having support if you’re going to break free from your past.  there are some problems in your life you have to team tackle.  they are so big you can’t get well on your own.  you can’t break free on your own.  it’s true with temptations just like it is with past hurts.  you need somebody else in your life.  you’re not going to get well on your own. 

you’ve been trying to break these patterns for a long time.  it isn’t going to happen.  in fact if you’re unwilling to have an accountability partner, stop kidding yourself, you really don’t want to change. 

what happens is we want to change but the fear of change stays there and keeps us from doing it.  and only until the pain exceeds the fear do we change.  we don’t change when we see the light, we change when we feel the heat. 

but i would say to you, don’t get yourself into so much pain that it forces you to change.  be smart enough to change before the pain becomes that intense.  how do you do it?  by getting an accountability partner.

just a thought from the front porch…

practice the principle of replacement...

now when JESUS was tempted, HE was out in the desert for forty days on a fast before HE started HIS ministry and HE was tempted at the end of that time by satan.

when satan came and tempted HIM and said, “why don’t YOU take these stones and turn them into bread?” JESUS didn’t say, “i’m going to resist the hunger, resist the hunger, resist the hunger.”  no, instead HE turned HIS attention to GOD’s word and to GOD. 

divert your attention because whatever gets your attention in the end is going to get you. 

what i’m saying is this: don’t try to argue with the devil.  you’re always going to lose.  listen, when temptation calls and you see it on your caller id, “temptation” don’t even pick up the receiver.  just like when you know it’s a sales call you don’t pick up the receiver.  when it says “temptation”  don’t even pick up the receiver.  go do something else. 

the more you fight a feeling the more it’s going to control you in the end.  but if you divert your attention, if you ignore it, you will weaken it. 

now for many one of the triggers for temptation is feelings of inadequacy.  you get to the end of the day or the end of a project and it doesn’t work like you want it to and you want to kick yourself like, “that was dumb.  that didn’t work.” 

you know what i found?  i have never felt better about myself by focusing on myself.  it’s always when i divert my attention that things change.  GOD still has a plan.  GOD still has a future.  GOD still has a purpose.  you change your attention.

and you practice the principle of replacement.  romans 12.21 (ncv) talks about that.  it says, do not let evil defeat you, but defeat evil by doing good.  fill your mind with truth.  fill your mind with good thoughts. 

the truth is learning new patterns of thinking is not easy.  it does not come quickly.  but by GOD’s strength it is possible. 

just a thought from the front porch…

you don’t fight you divert…

so there is a predictable pattern of temptation, the process.  three words.

it starts with  attention.  that’s where it grabs your mind.  you notice something.  it’s temptation.

arousal.  your emotions kick in.  “that looks interesting… that could be exciting!  … that’s what i need…”

and then action.

but here’s the secret.  you catch it at the beginning.  catch it at the attention stage, that’s where you divert your attention. 

you don’t fight temptation.  you divert your attention to something else.  you think about something different.  change your thoughts. 

the bible says this in 2 corinthians 10.5 (ncv), we capture every thought and make it give up and obey CHRIST.  that takes practice but it is possible. 

you cannot control all your circumstances, you just can’t.  you certainly cannot control the people in your life.  you can’t even control your own emotions sometimes have you noticed that?  but there is one thing you can control.  you can control what you choose to think about it. 

some of you as i’m talking about this you might be thinking, wait a minute.  doesn’t the bible say, “resist temptation.”  no, it does not.  there’s nowhere in the bible where it says to resist temptation.  it does say to resist satan, the evil one who is throwing temptation our way.  but JESUS’ example is you don’t resist the temptation.  you change your thoughts to something else.

just a thought from the front porch… 

divert your attention…

we are going phrase by phrase through the LORD’s prayer and we are looking at the words JESUS used in matthew 6.13 (niv), lead us not into temptation but deliver us from the evil one.

now i want to be practical in dealing with this real occurrence in each of our lives so i am giving you some steps from GOD’s word that will help you if you do them to.

we have looked in the past few weeks to 4 steps…
1.  predetermine your pattern of temptation.
2.  then plan to avoid it.
3.  you must protect the condition of your heart.
and 4. you pray for GOD’s help. 

so step #5:  you point your attention elsewhere. 

you change the direction of your thoughts.  you refocus on something else.  you shift your attention. 

james 1.14-15 (tlb), temptation is the pull of your own evil thoughts and wishes.  these evil thoughts lead to evil action. 

temptation always starts with a thought.  it always starts with the mind.  so in the end whatever gets your attention gets you.  there is a pull to what gets your attention. 

if you’re standing at the edge of a cliff and you look over, there is something that pulls you towards the bottom.  what is it that does that?  how does that happen?  it’s because it has your attention. 

whatever gets your attention gets you.  it’s a physical law that you’re drawn toward whatever has your attention. 

if you’re driving down the freeway and you look off at something along the side of the road you tend to drift in that direction.  if i said to you right now, are you hungry?  you might think, well yeah i am a little bit hungry.  it has your attention.  or how’s the temperature where you are?  and some of you think it’s a little cold and you grab a sweater.  or are you tired, it’s getting late.  and you yawn, i am a little bit tired.  whatever gets your attention, you’re inevitably drawn towards.  so the more you think about something the stronger the hold it gets on you. 

so you divert your attention.  you think about something else. 

just a thought from the front porch…

let’s stop here and go to prayer…

if you’re ready for a change just pray this prayer in your heart…

dear GOD, you know all the habits and temptations in my life that have tripped me up for years.  you know all the tempting situations that i’m facing right now.  you even know what temptations lay ahead of me this next week that i don’t even know are coming and are going to hit me.  so i’m asking for your help.  but i’m not asking for a miracle.  i’m asking for your strength to take these steps that bill has been talking about here on the front porch.  i am willing to follow your principles so i can change and be free.  help me to clearly see the patterns in my life that lead to temptation.  give me enough strength to start avoiding them and build some boundaries in my life that there’s certain places i don’t go, and certain things i don’t watch, and certain people i don’t hang out with.  LORD, if that means changing jobs or moving so be it.  i want my soul to be saved. 

most importantly, LORD, i need YOU to do some heart surgery on me.  i ask YOU to remove the negative emotions that make me vulnerable to temptation.  would YOU replace the discouragement and the exhaustion or the boredom or the spiritual dryness and emptiness?  would YOU replace the insecurity and the deep wounds and hurts in my heart?  would YOU replace the resentment, the anger, the sadness, the loneliness with YOUr love with YOUr forgiveness, and with YOUr confidence.  i want to learn to trust YOU.  i ask YOU, JESUS CHRIST, to start changing me from the inside out beginning today.  in YOUr name i pray.  amen. 

just a thought from the front porch…

HE understands…

hebrews 4. 15-16 (cev),  JESUS understands every weakness of ours, because HE was tempted in every way that we are. but HE did not sin!  so whenever we are in need, we should come bravely before the throne of our merciful GOD. there we will be treated with undeserved kindness, and we will find help.

HE understands.  HE wants us to know that HE understands. 

notice in the verse it says JESUS was tempted in every way that we are. so he understands.  always. 

did JESUS ever face temptation having to do with anger?  of course.  this is the same temptation.  temptations surrounding self-pity.  absolutely.  same temptation.  temptation surrounding sexuality or fatigue or loneliness.  of course.  all the same temptations.  he understands. 

and JESUS had the freedom to choose.  and the difference is HE always chose to say no to the temptation and yes to GOD.  but HE chose.  so HE understands what we have to go through. 

you get a glimpse into the heart of JESUS and how HE understands by looking at the night before HE died.  HE was in the garden of gethsemane.  some of you remember that in facing the cross the next day HE knew the suffering that was going to happen.  HE prayed a prayer in which HE said, “I don’t want to face the cross.  but not my will but YOUr will be done.”  HE chose. 

and because HE chose to say no to temptation HE can give us that strength.  HE was GOD but HE was in a fully human body so HE understands all of our temptations and even better than that HE never sinned.  that’s where HE’s different from all of us.  HE never sinned.  so HE can help us to overcome temptations in all of our lives.  that’s why you come boldly.  that’s why you come with no hesitation.  because you know HE cares and you know HE has the strength to help.

now in looking at the same example what did the disciples not do?  they didn’t pray and they slept.  that was not the time to sleep, natural desire, it was the time to pray so that they would not give in to the traps that satan had for then and as you know they fell into them didn’t they?

just a thought from the front porch…

protection in times of trouble…

let’s do one more step.

the fourth step is you pray for GOD’s help.  you talk to HIM.  that’s what we have been dealing with here on the front porch, prayer.

if you’re not talking to GOD regularly you have no protection against temptation.  that’s what JESUS said, matthew 26.41 (nlt).  JESUS gave this advice to HIS followers. keep watch and pray, so that you will not give in to temptation.  talk to GOD about it. 

now as simple as this is i don’t know about you but i often forget to pray.  i forget to pray about my temptation.  sometimes it’s because i’m selfish.  i want to go my own way.  but more often than not you know why i forget to pray?  i’m too busy.

i’m just rushing off to the next thing.  i don’t take the time to talk to GOD about it because i rushed on to the next thing.  because we’re all busy we need to learn what i would call microwave prayers.  quick prayers.  just send it up.  pray it immediately.  you pray it in the middle of the circumstance.  when you’re going through it.

the bible says in psalm 50.15 (gnt), call to me when trouble comes.  I will save you.  when trouble comes.  not a long conversation but you immediately call when trouble comes. 
learn one word prayers: help!  that’s a great one word prayer.  just say GOD i need help.  and you do it when the trouble comes. 

if you’re out on the freeway and the jerk next to you in the lane is making you angry and you want to cut him off you don’t think, i should add this to my prayer list for my devotion time tomorrow morning.  that’s not going to work.  you have to pray a prayer for help in that moment.  when you do, GOD answers.

the bible is filled, literally filled, with examples of how when people call for help GOD answers.  david and daniel and peter and paul and mary (and all the other music groups in the bible) when they call for help, GOD provided assistance to those who asked 

why?  why should GOD help me?  because HE cares.  because HE is sympathetic to your needs. 

just a thought from the front porch…

the most common foothold of satan…

ephesians 4.27 (niv) says this, do not give the devil a foothold.  what does that mean, don’t give the devil a foothold?

it’s like a beachhead that the marines used to do when they’d establish a beachhead on an island.  in world war ii after the japanese took over the entire south pacific with their army the united states marines started to go out and retake those islands and take them back.  the plan was always the marines would land on an island and they would establish what was called a beachhead. 

now a beachhead may be an area of space maybe only ten yards deep and two hundred yards wide.  but it was just enough space to give them a toehold, a foothold, a beachhead on the island.  that way they could fight the enemy not from the ship but from actually on the ground.  then from that beachhead they’d begin to push back on the island taking it a little bit at a time until they took it over. 

now, it’s interesting that in the history of world war ii once the marines landed on an island and established a beachhead they never lost that island.  once they got on it you weren’t kicking them off.  they would keep on keeping on.  victory was assured.  there would be lost battles but ultimate victory was assured. 

now what’s the most common foothold that satan gets in our life?  the answer is any negative emotion.  any negative emotion satan can use as a foothold in your life. 

jealousy can give satan a foothold in your life.  do you get jealous?  he gets a little foothold in your life.  envy can be a foothold in your life.  do you get envious of other people?  how much money they make?  he’s got a foothold in your life.  fear can be a foothold.  resentment can be a foothold.  lust can be a foothold.  anger can be a foothold.  boredom can be a foothold.  any of those negative emotions gives him just a little spot in your life to begin trying to destroy your life.  and when you mix several of these heart conditions together they’re very potent. 

for instance, let’s say you’re tired, you’re fatigued, you’re frustrated, and you’re hurt, and you’re lonely.  that combination right there is setting you up in an amazingly easy way for temptation.  the more of those things that get in your life you’re being set up for a fall.  it’s a powerful combo. 
because what happens is when you start feeling bad a little voice starts saying to you, i deserve a little comfort.  i’m having a tough time right now.  i deserve a little release.  i deserve a little pleasure.  i deserve a little fun.  and you start listening to yourself. 

you know where that’s coming from but you know that those ideas you would never consider them if things were going good.  so that’s why you have to consider the condition of your heart.

just a thought from the front porch…

just a foothold…

now there was a self-assessment quiz in yesterday’s blog.  if you didn’t take it just go back and then add up the numbers and i’m going to interpret them now for you.

first, if you got between thirty and forty points on this little test then you’re in good shape.  you’re in good shape physically, spiritually and emotionally and you are going to be more resistant to temptation than other people.  your immune system, your spiritual immune system is high.  you have the strength spiritually, emotionally and physically to handle temptation and you’re in good shape.  congratulations.

if you got between twenty and thirty points, there’s a big yellow caution light flashing in your life saying be careful.  watch out.  you are vulnerable for a fall.  you are vulnerable to temptation.  you’re not as strong as you think you are.
 
if you got between ten and twenty points, my friend, you are in serious danger.  you are headed for an emotional or spiritual or physical crack up.  a major catastrophe in your life.  you are very vulnerable.  and you are wide open to satan’s attacks in your life because your spiritual, emotional and physical strength is at a low point.  you don’t have much resistance. 

if you got between zero and ten points you are in crisis mode right now.  you need to call to get some counseling or to get a referral to get some counseling because you are in crisis mode.  you need people in your life to help you right now. 

the next question you have once you’ve got that number is, how long have i been at this level?  the longer you’ve been at a lower level the more vulnerable you are.  and the more easy pickin’s you are for satan to just pick you off. 

ephesians 4.27 (niv) says this, do not give the devil a foothold.  what does that mean, don’t give the devil a foothold? 

what happens when the devil establishes a foothold, a beachhead, in your life?  he doesn’t try to take over your whole life.  he starts by getting one little area.  this is my little secret sin over here.  it’s my personal habit.  it’s the area that nobody knows about.  it’s just this little compartment of my life.  everything else in my life is pretty good but this over here is not good.  but it’s ok because i’ve contained it to one little area. 

but you are so sadly mistaken.  do you think satan is going to be satisfied with just a beachhead in your life?  no.  he wants to take it over.  he wants to ruin you.

just a thought from the front porch… 

a quiz to assess susceptibility …

i want you to take a little quiz.  ten questions about ten different areas of your life.  i want you to write down a number as we go through these.  then we’re going to add up the numbers and i’m going to interpret them for you.

first, your physical condition.  zero meaning really bad off.  four being perfect.  first, am i more physically exhausted or am i more energetic and in shape?  i’m not talking about your entire life.  i’m talking about this week, right now.  am i physically exhausted?  or am i energetic in shape? 

if you say i am tired all the time, all the time.  give yourself a zero.  if you say, i’m in tiptop condition.  i’m really to take jack lalane’s place, give yourself a four. 

how about your emotions?  are you discouraged about your life right now, do you feel pessimistic?  or, on the other hand, do you feel encouraged about your life and feel very optimistic?  give yourself a score from zero to four.  a low score if you’re discouraged and pessimistic.  a high score if you’re encouraged and optimistic. 

your lifestyle.  do you feel bored or discontented with your life?  you don’t like the situation you’re in right now.  if you’re bored or discontented give yourself a low score.  if you say i feel challenged by the life i’m living right now.  it’s not too stressful but it’s challenging, worth getting up for and i feel contented with my life give yourself a high score.

your spiritual life.  if you’d say, right now i’m feeling kind of spiritually dry.  i don’t feel really close to GOD right now.  then give yourself a low score.  on the other hand if you’d say, i’m really growing.  i’m growing more than i’ve ever grown before in my life, give yourself a four.  i’m growing closer to the LORD every day.

your relationships.  if you’d say the people that i love right now i’m geographically distant from and i feel alone.  maybe you have to travel a lot.  or the people you love the most are overseas or they’re distant and you don’t get to spend much time with them, then give yourself a low score.  if you say, those that i love the most of my relationships, they’re near and i get to spend a lot of time together with them, circle a high score. 

am i feeling insecure or unsure about my future?  or am i feeling very secure and very confident about my future?  give yourself a zero to a four there.

have you been deeply wounded?  are you carrying a deep hurt?  give yourself a low score, a zero or one or something like that.  if you feel like, i’m loved and i feel understood by the people in my life give yourself a high score. 

if you have been carrying a hurt and you’re secretly bitter, in other words, are you holding a grudge against anyone?  you say, “i’m angry and i can’t forgive them.”  give yourself a low score.  on the other hand if you say i feel like i’ve forgiven every person who’s hurt me in my life give yourself a four.

the next has to do with am i feeling more sad about life or more happy about life right now.  rate yourself on that. 

then finally, am i feeling more alienated and unsupported by my relationships?  in other words i’m having conflicts with people in my life.  or do i feel close to them and supported?  are you emotionally close to your family or are you arguing a lot?  in other words do you have supportive friends or are you detached and distant?

i want you to add up your numbers right now.  there are ten questions there.  if you put four on every one then you’d be JESUS and you would have a perfect score of 40.  if you got zero in all of them then obviously you’d have zero.  so everybody has a score between zero and forty.  add them up right now.  this has profound influence on how you handle temptation.

we’ll analyze this more tomorrow.

just a thought from the front porch… 

it starts inside…

i want us to continue looking at what GOD has to say about man’s oldest problem, temptation.  it goes all the way back to adam.  we all eventually face it.  sometimes even when you know what’s right to do it’s difficult to say “no”.  it is difficult. 

we are going phrase by phrase through the LORD’s prayer and JESUS said in matthew 6.13 (niv), lead us not into temptation but deliver us from the evil one.  we need to pray that GOD will lead through that difficult maze of traps that satan lays out for us to fall in every day. 

now there are some different steps that will keep you from falling into the traps that satan sets for you.  we have already looked at two:  step 1. predetermine my pattern of temptation.  step 2. plan to avoid it.  and now step 3.  i must protect the condition of my heart. 

proverbs 4:23 (niv) says this, above all else, guard your heart,
for everything you do flows from it.  it says, guard your heart.

if you want to change something that is continually causing you to stumble, you don’t start with your behavior.  you start with the heart.  you start inside of you. 

you don’t start by tying to change your behavior by sheer will power: “i’m not going to do it anymore.  i’m not going to do it anymore!  i’m not going to do it anymore!”  willpower doesn’t work, have you learned that? 

when you do anything, any kind of personal improvement program simply by willpower you eventually give up, because you get tired and you get stressed and you haven’t change the inside of you.  so as a result you don’t change yourself.  you’re just forcing yourself to do something that is unnatural to you.  and eventually you’re going to give up.

so if you want to change a persistent pattern in your life that you don’t like about you, you don’t focus on your behavior and you don’t focus on the circumstance and you don’t focus on the temptation. 

you don’t even focus on how you feel.  you focus on what’s going on in my heart.  what’s going on inside of me that causes me to want to do this?  that means you have to do a little heart examination.  you’ve got to do a spiritual x-ray of your heart. 

if you want to change it starts with the inside out if you want permanent change. 

just a thought from the front porch…

now, let’s talk to HIM…

you may be struggling in an area of temptation which has been bothering you for years.  what is your weakness?  what is your hot button?  where does satan bait you?  just say in your heart, “LORD, you know what it is.  i’ve got a tendency to ... exaggerate, be double-minded, not to stand up for what i know is right but be wishy-washy, always worry about what other people think, become sarcastic and say some hurtful things to my wife/husband.  i’m insensitive to the needs of my spouse.  i tend to be selfish.

there is something in my life that is out of control.  my time is out of control, LORD.  my spending is out of control.  my weight, my exercise.  i just keep falling in this same area and i feel bad about it.”  just confess it to HIM.  HE knows your frame.  HE loves you. HE’s not going to condemn you.  HE wants to forgive you, wipe the slate clean.  HE wants you to start over today.  that’s why HE brought you here to the front porch.  just say, “GOD, i want to be realistic about this.  it is a problem in my life.  i drink too much ... or whatever.”  admit it to HIM.  accept responsibility. don’t blame your parents, your spouse, your boss, anybody.  admit there is a weakness.  there would be no outside temptation if there were no inward drive that matches it. 

“LORD, help me to recognize those patterns of weakness and avoid them.  help me to refocus on you, to fill my mind with the good things, the true things, the right things, not to resist my feelings but to replace them with what YOU have to say.”

most of all, if you’ve never opened up your heart to the LORD, do it now.  say, “JESUS CHRIST, i want to be reborn.  i want a fresh start on life.  would you forgive all the sins i’ve ever committed and help me start over right now.”  HE will. that’s why HE died on the cross for you.  say, “JESUS CHRIST, come in and be the manager and controller of my life.”  HE will. “LORD, YOU promised to make a way out of these temptations.  give me the strength.”  some of you need to break off a bad relationship.  some of you are flirting in the wrong areas.  say, “LORD, help me to quit compromising.  help me to do what’s right.”  and HE will help you,  if you come to HIM with an open and sincere heart and say, “GOD, YOU know all about me.  i can’t fool you. help me get victory over this temptation.”

“LORD, i want to thank YOU for those who prayed this prayer, opening their hearts for the very first time, saying they want you in their lives.  in JESUS’ name i pray.  amen.

it begins with a natural desire…

now when you make your plan to avoid temptation you need to understand that temptation always begins with a natural desire in your life.

for example, sex is a natural desire.  where do you think you got your sex drive?  you got it from GOD.  sex is not evil.  sex is not bad.  sex is holy.  it is a gift of GOD.  but anything that’s a gift of GOD can be abused or misused or perverted. 

in fact, everything GOD’s given the human race has been abused, misused and perverted.  but that doesn’t mean it’s bad.  it just means it’s been abused, misused and perverted.

so your sexuality, your sex drive – thank GOD for it.  listen it’s a natural drive to want to be loved. 

it’s a natural desire to eat.  there’s nothing wrong with eating.  it’s a natural desire to eat.  it’s a natural desire to sleep.  nothing wrong with sleep.  or drink.  or whatever.  but anything that becomes out of control becomes damaging to your life.  those are all GOD given. 

but what temptation is, it takes a natural desire that you have and it challenges you to fulfill it in the wrong way or at the wrong time.  that’s what it is, the temptation to fulfill a legitimate desire the wrong way at the wrong time.  it takes a very natural or routine desire and turns it into a runaway desire.  all of a sudden it’s all you can think about.  all of a sudden it possesses your mind.  it becomes more important than anything else.  you’ve got to have it and it’s all you can think about. 

now please note that any desire no matter how good it is when it’s out of control becomes destructive.  a fire in the fireplace can warm your house.  but a fire out of place can destroy your house.  it’s just what you’re doing with it that makes the difference. 

you need to understand GOD says you need to build boundaries in your life.  once you know the patterns you’re used to falling into then you say, “i’m just not going to put myself in this situation.”  that’s the smart way to do it.  that’s the way to keep from falling into the traps that satan has laid for you and me to keep us from living the effective, peaceful life that GOD has for us to live.

just a thought from the front porch…

when you know then you do…

the last question you ask is, how do i feel right before i’m tempted?  in other words you need to know your emotional triggers that make you vulnerable.

some people are most vulnerable to temptation when they’re frustrated.  just so frustrated and don’t know what to do.  then they get tempted to do the wrong thing.  some people are tempted when they feel lonely.  that’s the way they respond.  some people feel tempted when they’re angry.  or when they’re bored.  or maybe you’re tempted when you can’t sleep at night.  and you get up and you turn on a channel you really don’t have any business watching. 

the point is once you determine how, where, when, why, and what’s the most typical pattern – and there is a pattern in your life, it’s a pattern and you need to be aware of it – then here’s step two.  plan to avoid it.

it’s not rocket science folks.  once you know the patterns that tend to cause you to give in to temptation then you plan to avoid those patterns.  once you know the triggers, then you set some boundaries in your life that keep you from those situations.  as i said, if you don’t want to get stung then you stay away from the bees. 

proverbs 4.26-27 (gnt) “plan carefully what you do… avoid evil and walk straight ahead.  don’t go one step off the right way.”  if you just keep your eyes focused, don’t get distracted. 

there was this man who in1974 was living in japan and he was working as a short-term missionary in nagasaki, japan.  he said, “i was teaching english at a church and i was staying in the home of the permanent missionaries there in nagasaki.  every night as i would go home to their home which was up on a hill i had to every night (it was the only way i could get there) walk straight through the center of nagasaki’s red light district.  knowing that every night there were full sized posters of nude women on either side of those narrow roads and call girls standing out there seductively dressed all the way through the red light district.  i just made a covenant with my eyes, ‘i’m not going to look to the right, i’m not going to look to the left, i’m going to keep my eyes focused straight on because i don’t even want to be distracted.  if it gets my attention it’s going to get me.’  so i sat boundaries.”  plan carefully what you do, avoid evil and walk straight ahead. 

just a thought from the front porch…

what benefit do i get?...

there are some questions that we are asking here on the front porch that will help you in this area of temptation.  you need to know where you’re tempted most.  we’ve asked, when am i most tempted?  where am i most tempted?  who is with me when i’m most tempted?  and then you need to ask the question, “what temporary benefit do i get when i give in?”

every time you give in to temptation… by the way, it’s not a sin to be tempted.  it’s a sin to give in to temptation.  even JESUS was tempted. 

now what payoff do i get when i sin?  there’s always a payoff.  every negative behavior has some sort of pay off. 

the bible says sin is fun, did you know that?  no one would do it if it were a bummer.  if sin had the pain of a root canal you’d never do it.  there is pleasure in sin.  the bible says it’s fun. 

but it’s just a short-term pleasure.  what is it trading, short-term pleasure, short-term relief, short-term comfort for a long term problem, damage and destruction?

so you need to ask yourself what am i getting out of this that causes me to keep doing it?  why do i keep blowing up?  why do i keep being fearful?  why do i keep lusting?  what’s the payoff in this?

sometimes you’re tempted because of comfort.  you give in to temptation because of comfort.  it’s comforting to do this.  sometimes you give in because of relief.  it’s a stress relief.  it’s a relief that you explode or whatever.  sometimes people give in to temptation for excitement.  they’re just bored with life and they just want some excitement in their life.  so they go and do something that’s really stupid to do, go get drunk and act really stupid because i’m looking for excitement.  other people give into temptation because it gives a sense of false confidence. 

how do i feel when i give in?  do i feel more loved?  do i feel more accepted?  do i feel more popular?  you need to know these things.  you need to know your pattern of temptation.  how satan hooks you.

just a thought from the front porch…