draw closer instead of repelling…

when i share my hidden secrets with another person, first of all its liberating, then its empowering and then it is endearing.  what i mean by that is when you’re honest about your weakness to somebody else it actually draws that person closer to you instead of repelling them away.

we think that people will like us if we pretend we’ve got it all together and we put on a show and we wear a mask and pretend that we’re perfect.  actually that doesn’t work at all.  we actually are gathered to, we gravitate toward people who are authentic.  we like them.  we gravitate toward people who are humble.  so when you do that it actually causes people to be closer to you rather than further away. 

anytime i write here on bill’s front porch and i tell you one of my faults or one of my weaknesses you like me more.  you really do.  the fact is we like people who just admit it.  “bill doesn’t think he’s some hot shot.  he’s just like us.  he has the same problems we do.  he messes up just like we do.  we’re all in the same boat.” 

if all i did was tell you how great i am and how strong i am you’d say, “well whoopty-do for you!  that’s not me.  i’m not in that situation.  forget it.”  but when you share a weakness, a sin, a struggle, a fault people go, “that’s like me!”

just a thought from the front porch… 

not a phony…

james 3.17 (msg), real wisdom, GOD’s wisdom, is…not hot one day and cold the next, not two-faced.  (nirv), it is fair. it doesn’t pretend to be what it is not.

that brings us to the next question on the “am i wise?” test.  do you wear a mask?  if you do you are not wise.  a mark of a wise person is they don’t try to hide and disguise their own weaknesses.  you are not a phony.  you don’t wear masks, and try to be something you're not. 

real wise people are honest and open, they’re genuine.  they’re real and authentic.  “what you see is what you get” with a really wise person.  they don’t attain or pretend perfection.

in this day and age there are so many phony relationships.  people try to be something they’re not.  the number one place you see it is in a single’s bars.  phony relationships.  where else in our society do you offer to buy something for a total stranger?  phony!  trying to be something you’re not.

proverbs 28.13 (gnt), you will never succeed in life if you try to hide your sins.  it’s dumb to pretend that you’re perfect, that you’ve got it all together because nobody does.

when you start telling people your weaknesses they are not going to be shocked because they already know.  everybody knows your weaknesses.  you’re the only one who won’t admit it.  we see each other’s weaknesses all the time.  why do we walk around pretending that we don’t know?  we do.  it’s obvious to everyone.  but we don’t want to admit it.

if i’m wise i won’t disguise my weaknesses.  people appreciate honesty, being gut level and sharing where they are.  it also helps them to be more open.  they might be struggling with it too.

just a thought from the front porch…