but i've got my rights...

humility connects, pride disconnects. when you focus on their needs, their hurts, their interests what they need at this moment, making sure that they are understood you are being humble. when you’re focusing on, what do i need to say now? how can i counter that attack? how am i going to respond? you’re being prideful.

humility is not thinking less of your self. it’s just not thinking of your self at all. it’s thinking about the other person. humility allows us to say the four most difficult words, “i need your help.” humility allows us to say the three most difficult words, “i am sorry.” or “i was wrong.” and humility allows us to say the two most difficult words in the english language, “forgive me.” when you say those words you are being humble.

if you can’t say those words, call it for what it is. ego. arrogance. pride. conceit. and behind that is insecurity. only secure people can say, “i was wrong.” secure people can say, “forgive me.” because that’s where it comes from.

our model for this is JESUS CHRIST. philippians 2.5-7 (nlt & tev), your attitude should be the same as CHRIST JESUS had. though HE was GOD, HE did not demand and cling to HIS rights as GOD. instead of this, of HIS own free will, HE gave up all HE had and took the nature of a servant.

JESUS was humble. can you imagine JESUS walking around with a sign saying, “I'm number one!” i don’t think so. can you image JESUS saying, “look out for number one.” no. can you imagine JESUS saying, “I have my rights!” no. can you imagine JESUS saying, “I’ve got to do what’s best for me!” no. not at all.

that word rights gets us into so much trouble. you do have rights but in a relationship with someone that you love you need to forget your rights. and you need to focus on your responsibilities and you need to focus on doing what’s right. because if you focus on your rights in a marriage or in any other close relationship you’re going to be angry a lot of the time.

you’re going to be doing this: “you did this.” but you did that! “you did this!” yeah, but you did that!” you’ve got this mental balance in your mind – they did that so i can do this. i have my rights. you’re always trying to even the score.

you’re on the same team. why are you fighting each other? if you’re married you’re on the same team. stop fixing the blame and start fixing the problem. but you can’t do that as long as you’re worried about your rights.

just a thought from the front porch…