Friday, March 26, 2010

the #1 killer of relationships...

the first step to humility, which is one of the keys to rebuilding and reconnecting in a relationship, is admitting where you’re prideful. discovering, examining, evaluating your life and figuring out what kind of situations does pride tend to rear its head in my personality, in my life. you identify how you tend to be prideful. you identify where, in what situations you tend to be prideful. and you face it.

a good verse for evaluation is psalm 139.23-24 (niv), search me o GOD and know my heart. try me and know my thoughts. and see if there be offensive way (way that is unpleasing to YOU, way that makes YOU sad) in me and lead me in the way everlasting.

you do an honest evaluation and pray, “GOD, show me the areas that i tend to be prideful. because i know that whenever i’ve been prideful it disconnects me from the people i love most.

pride destroys relationships and fear; insecurity destroys relationships. both of these things, the moment they pop up are going to cause you to disconnect from those you love.

hurt also disconnects us from those we love. it causes us to disconnect.

proverbs 18.14 (ncv), the will to live can get you through sickness, but no one can live with a broken spirit. the emotional damage that takes place through words and attitudes and actions and impressions that we give to those around us.

remember when you were a child you heard the little rhyme, “sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me.” lie! names hurt more than sticks and stones. a broken bone can heal in a matter of weeks. but a broken spirit, damaged emotions, a scarred soul, you can carry that the rest of your life.

ridicule, embarrassment, hateful things that were said to you 10, 20, maybe 30 or more years ago and you still remember them today and they still hurt. it’s like an open sore that’s never been healed. you try to put band-aids on it, you try to ignore it, but it still hurts. words hurt far more and we remember them and emotional scars take far longer to heal.

the problem with hurt is that unexpressed hurt turns into resentment. and resentment is the number one killer of relationships. hurt will not destroy a relationship but resentment will.

just a thought from the front porch…

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