it messes you up physically, spiritually, emotionally…

one reason why you’ve got to let go of that hurt that someone did to you is because GOD has forgiven you and another reason is because resentment makes you miserable.

you see, resentment always hurts you more than it does the other person.  it makes you the victim.  some of you have been hurt by people in the past and you’re continuing to allow them to hurt you in the present and that’s dumb.  they can’t hurt you anymore.  your past is past.  they can only hurt you if you choose to continue to hold on to the hurt with resentment.  that’s your choice.  you can let it go.

you see forgiveness is not a feeling, forgiveness is a choice.  you just say, i’m going to let it go. 

holding on to resentment is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die.  it’s like turning a shotgun on yourself, pulling the trigger and hoping to hit them with the kick of the recoil.  it always hurts you. 

now when this king here in matthew 18 heard that this servant who he had forgiven his debt of 12 million dollars had thrown into prison a person who owed him 17 dollars he was livid and he brings this unforgiving servant in and says in verses 33 & 34 (niv), “shouldn’t you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as i had on you?”  in anger his master turned him over to the jailers to be tortured.  now the word jailers in greek literally means “torturers.”  he says this guy deserves the torture chamber. 

here’s the point.  nothing tortures your life more than resentment.  resentment.  bitterness.  it is a poison that when you swallow it it’s worse than cancer.  it will eat you alive.  resentment robs you of peace, of joy, of happiness.  it messes you up physically, spiritually, emotionally.  resentment can make you sick. 

heart circulation magazine reported findings from medical studies that people carrying resentment are twice as likely to have a stroke, three times as likely to have a heart attack or bypass surgery, and four times more likely to have unhealthy cholesterol.  in another study stanford researchers have linked carrying a grudge to higher levels of diabetes and cancer.  “there is a physical cost to holding on to anger.” 

job 21.23&25 (gnb) says this, some people stay healthy till the day they die; they die happy... others have no happiness at all; they live and die with bitter hearts.  if you want to be healthy, happy, you’ve got to let it go. 

just a thought from the front porch…

two greatest barriers to peace of mind…

we are continuing in our phrase by phrase look through the LORD’s prayer, looking at how to have inner peace in this stress filled world that we live in and two greatest barriers to peace of mind without a doubt are guilt and resentment.  guilt comes from what we do to other people.  resentment comes from what other people do to us.

now we have talked about that the only antidote to guilt is to receive the forgiveness of GOD.  and in the same way the only antidote to resentment is to offer the forgiveness of GOD to other people. 

we have been looking at the first part of matthew 6.12 (lb), now we’ll look at the second part.  forgive us our sins just as we have forgiven those who have sinned against us.  we are to forgive others just like we have been forgiven. 

in life you’re going to be hurt many times, sometimes intentionally, sometimes unintentionally.  and the source is not what’s important but how you choose to respond to the hurt.  the only way you can get inner peace when you’ve been hurt is to let it go, to forgive.

just a thought from the front porch…

angry at GOD…

one of the greatest barrier that keeps you from surrendering your life totally to GOD is resentment.  resentment against GOD.

you may not want to admit this but there’s some things in your life that you’re mad at GOD about.  you still blame HIM for those disappointments.  you’re upset with HIM because life hasn’t turned out the way you wanted it to.  and that underlying resentment keeps you from totally surrendering to GOD.  you’re mad at GOD.  you’re blaming HIM for your unhappiness. 

let’s get real practical.  what is it in your life that you’re still angry at GOD about? 

can a CHRISTian be angry at GOD?  without a doubt!  some of you are angry at the way GOD made you look.  you don’t like your appearance.  “why didn’t GOD make me more beautiful?  why didn’t GOD make me like_______?  then my life would be great.  you don’t like the way you look and you’re still mad at GOD because GOD made you the way you look.

some of you are still resentful at “why didn’t GOD give me different parents?  my dad – my mom ...  they’re looney!” 

some of you are disappointed in your marriage.  it’s not at all what you expected it to be and you’re blaming GOD for it. 

some of you are still resentful about a handicap or a birth defect or a business you’ve started and failed or a marriage that failed or the fact that you’re not married and you’re still single.  what are you carrying resentment at GOD over? 

what are you still angry at GOD about?  that kind of thing is keeping you in turmoil, keeping you at war with GOD and keeping you from experiencing the love and peace that HE wants to pour out in your life.  that unfulfilled dream and you’re mad at GOD about it. 

listen, don’t blame GOD.  just relax and say, “GOD!  YOUr will be done!  YOUr kingdom come.  i accept YOUr plan.  i surrender to YOUr control,” because the war with GOD is keeping you from peace.

sometimes you go out and in all sincerity you pray, you work, you think you’re on the right thing and you go out and do what you think GOD wants you to do and it flat out bombs!  what do you do with that?  don’t worry.  it’s all a part of GOD’s plan and HE’s moving you to where HE wants to take you. 

just a thought from the front porch…

HE paid the penalty…

chuck colson writes this story. “near the city of san jose in brazil is a remarkable prison facility. twenty years ago the brazilian government gave up on this prison and so they turned it over to two CHRISTians who renamed the prison and decided to build this prison based on CHRISTian principles. with only two full employees all the work is done by inmates.” chuck colson visited this prison in brazil and he said this, “i found the inmates smiling particularly the murderer who held the keys to the prison and opened the gates and let me in. wherever i went in the prison i saw men at peace. i saw clean living areas. i saw people working cheerfully. this is the power of the gospel. the walls were decorated with bible verses. then my guide escorted me to the notorious prison cell that had once been used for torture. he told me that it now houses only one inmate. as we walked down the long hall and he put the key in the lock he paused and asked, ‘chuck, are you sure you want to go in?’ ‘of course,’ i said impatiently. ‘i’ve been in isolation cells all over the world.’ slowly he swung open the massive door and i saw the solitary prisoner in that cell. it was a wooden statue carved by the inmates of JESUS hanging on the cross. my guide said softly, ‘he’s doing time for the rest of us.’”

think about that for a minute. JESUS CHRIST took your place on the cross. HE’s doing time for you so you don’t have to do time in hell. HE paid the penalty for your sin.

once you’re set free, once a prison sentence has been paid for and the doors open do you hang around the prison? no. you walk out into the light. i’m saying to you, whatever has had you imprisoned in JESUS CHRIST you can walk out of it.

some of you have been imprisoned by guilt. you can’t forget what you did. some of you have been imprisoned by resentment. you can’t forget what other have done to you and you’re still locked in the prison of bitterness and hatred and anger and resentment. or you’re locked in the prison of loneliness. or worry and anxiety and fear. or you’re locked in the prison of addiction. you can’t stop it no matter how hard you try. i want to tell you today. this power, the power of JESUS CHRIST, is there to help you to walk out of that prison and be free. GOD wants to bless your life. you receive him through CHRIST. you celebrate him through worship. i want to remind you and challenge you to never let a day go by that you don’t thank JESUS CHRIST for the cross.

just a thought from the front porch…

resentment isn't smart...

when you hold on to resentment, you allow people to continue to hurt you today. and that’s not smart. in fact, it’s quite dumb. the people in your past are past. they cannot continue to hurt you unless you choose to hold on to the hurt. why would you do that? why would you hold on to a hurt that can neither be changed nor controlled? all you’re doing is making yourself miserable.

so you relinquish your right to get even. the bible says this in hebrews 12.15 (ph), be careful that none of you fails to respond to the grace which GOD gives. for if HE does there can very easily spring up in him a bitter spirit which is not only bad in itself but it can also poison the lives of many others. and resentment can be passed on from generation to generation to generation. you don’t just make yourself miserable when you’re bitter. you make everybody else around you miserable too. it is a worthless emotion. i relinquish my right to get even.

just a thought from the front porch…

it’s in the focus...

envy is a choice. i can choose to rejoice, or i can choose to resent. those are the options. the good news is if you learn to rejoice at GOD’s goodness to others, you’ll have a lot more to be happy about.

we all need to have the attitude of grandparents. you can brag to them, and they don’t think you’re bragging. you can say, “you wouldn’t believe what the kids did this week!” and they’d say, “that’s great!” you tell somebody else and they’d go, “but my kids…” like, “my kid was inmate of the month in prison.” they have to one-up you every time. there’s no guile in grandparents.

but eventually your grandparents die off. so we need to be grandparents to each other. and we all need a place where we not only share our hurts, but we also share our successes and everybody goes, “that is great!” when a sorrow is shared, it is cut in half. when a joy is shared, it’s doubled. that’s very important. that’s what we do in our life groups at our church or we should do.

another antidote to envy is to be grateful for what you have. instead of focusing so much on what you don’t have and what didn’t happen, be grateful for what you do have. this also has to be learned. the apostle paul wrote, i have learned to be content. it was a learning process.

so instead of complaining like these workers did about what wasn’t happening, what they didn’t get, you learn to realize that you’d have nothing without GOD, without HIS goodness and what HE’s given to you.

1 corinthians 4.7b-8a (msg) says, isn’t everything you have and everything you are sheer gifts from GOD? so what’s the point of all this comparing and competing? you already have all you need.

envy is based on a myth. the myth is i have to have more to be happy. i have to have something i don’t have now to be happy. and you get caught up in this myth and focused on everyone else. envy always looks at others and asks, “why them? but gratitude says, “why me? why did i get this? i don’t deserve what i have.” it totally flips around the perspective of our mind.

the truth is although we all struggle with envy, it’s hard to admit it. one of the reasons why is because it is such an ugly feeling toward others. when you’re envious of others, you really want them to fail. you don’t tell anyone else, but it really makes your day when they have a bad day because you feel better because they don’t have something. when you think about that, that’s pretty crazy, isn’t it?

just a thought from the front porch…

learn to enjoy it rather than resent it…

do you want to get envy out of your life? if you want to be a genuinely loving person, you’ve got to stop comparing yourself to other people and you have to start enjoying GOD’s grace to other people.

when you see GOD being kind, good, gracious to others, learn to enjoy it rather than resent it. you need to be happy when GOD is blessing somebody else. now this does not come naturally. you have to learn it. when GOD has been good to others, you need to learn to enjoy watching GOD do that to them.

this is the exact opposite of what these workers did. they went out and the guys who worked all day, they were paid exactly what they contracted for. they weren’t cheated. they just resented other people being given just as much. and instead of enjoying it, the workers resented it.

matthew 20.10-11,15b (cev/niv) says, the workers who had been hired first thought that they would be given more than the others, but when they were given the same, they began complaining to the owner of the vineyard. and he said, “are you envious because i am generous to them?” they resented it.

romans 12.15 (niv) says, rejoice with those who rejoice. earlier we looked at the second half of that verse, which says, and weep with those who weep. the second half of the verse is much easier to do than the first half. it’s easy when someone is down, they’re hard up on their luck, they’ve had a tough time, it’s easy to be sympathetic. that is an element of kindness. that you share the hurts and the pains and the sorrows of other people. that’s the easy part.

but it’s much more difficult to rejoice when they have a success. we don’t handle the success of other people very well. in fact, we’re threatened by it. we resent it. because somehow in our minds we think the world is some big giant apple pie and it’s all divided up into slices. and if somebody’s slice gets a little bit bigger, then that must mean my slice is going to get smaller.

but you’re wrong. because GOD’s got all the pie filling in the world. HE doesn’t run out of blessings. HE doesn’t run out of grace. there’s more than enough to go around for everybody, and because GOD blesses somebody else does not mean there is not enough blessings for you. HE just wants to do it in different ways.

HE does not bless us all the same. some have good health, others don’t have good health. some have good achievements, others don’t have good achievements. some have real good family relationships, others have difficult family relationships. we’re blessed in different ways. and we need to learn to rejoice in the joy of other people.

just a thought from the front porch…

the only antidote for a hurtful memory...

what happens if i don't depend on GOD's grace when i’m in pain? what happens if i just rely on myself and try to work out the problem? "i can handle it on my own." what happens when i face a hurt or a problem, crisis or stress and i don't depend on GOD's grace?

hebrews 12.15 (phillips), be careful that none of you fails to respond to the grace of GOD for if he does there can spring up in him a bitter spirit which can poison the lives of many others.

when you try to handle a hurt on your own, you're going to get bitter. resentment is the result of trying to handle all of your problems in your own power. you become cynical, critical and you allow bitterness. you raise your hand to GOD in an angry fist and say, "why me?" you put on a black tie and have a pity party for yourself. "poor me! look at this problem in my life!" you're not relying on the grace of GOD.

before I retired as a pastor, i met hurting people all the time. you can take two people, put them in the same exact situation and one of them is devastated by it and they become resentful and poisoned by the attitude. the other has a sweet, sweet spirit.

how is it that you see some people that you know have problems that are overwhelming, are under increased pressure, unusual pain in their lives that is not even their own fault and they maintain a sweet, sweet spirit? how is that possible?

it's possible because those people are relying on the sustaining grace of GOD.

some of you have been hurt very deeply in the past and you still remember it and it hurts. just the very thought of that memory makes you tense. some of you ladies were hurt by your fathers or by a brother or a husband. some of you men have been hurt at work or in your home and when you think about that hurt it still kind of brings a tear to your eye.

how do you get rid of a hurtful memory like that? there is only one way. the only antidote to a painful memory is the grace of GOD. you receive GOD's grace into your life and then you offer it to that offending person and let them go. you don't hold on to hurt.

the person in your past that hurt you can no longer hurt you unless you let them. let them go! receive GOD's grace into your life and then be gracious and offer forgiveness to that person and let them go, for your own sake. it's the only antidote. grace can pull you through tough times.

just a thought from the front porch…

the #1 killer of relationships...

the first step to humility, which is one of the keys to rebuilding and reconnecting in a relationship, is admitting where you’re prideful. discovering, examining, evaluating your life and figuring out what kind of situations does pride tend to rear its head in my personality, in my life. you identify how you tend to be prideful. you identify where, in what situations you tend to be prideful. and you face it.

a good verse for evaluation is psalm 139.23-24 (niv), search me o GOD and know my heart. try me and know my thoughts. and see if there be offensive way (way that is unpleasing to YOU, way that makes YOU sad) in me and lead me in the way everlasting.

you do an honest evaluation and pray, “GOD, show me the areas that i tend to be prideful. because i know that whenever i’ve been prideful it disconnects me from the people i love most.

pride destroys relationships and fear; insecurity destroys relationships. both of these things, the moment they pop up are going to cause you to disconnect from those you love.

hurt also disconnects us from those we love. it causes us to disconnect.

proverbs 18.14 (ncv), the will to live can get you through sickness, but no one can live with a broken spirit. the emotional damage that takes place through words and attitudes and actions and impressions that we give to those around us.

remember when you were a child you heard the little rhyme, “sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me.” lie! names hurt more than sticks and stones. a broken bone can heal in a matter of weeks. but a broken spirit, damaged emotions, a scarred soul, you can carry that the rest of your life.

ridicule, embarrassment, hateful things that were said to you 10, 20, maybe 30 or more years ago and you still remember them today and they still hurt. it’s like an open sore that’s never been healed. you try to put band-aids on it, you try to ignore it, but it still hurts. words hurt far more and we remember them and emotional scars take far longer to heal.

the problem with hurt is that unexpressed hurt turns into resentment. and resentment is the number one killer of relationships. hurt will not destroy a relationship but resentment will.

just a thought from the front porch…