there’s another fear that we have that disconnects us and that is when we fear losing our freedom. when we fear losing our freedom that makes us demanding.
fear and insecurity demand that i must always be in control. the more insecure i am the more i have to be in control. the opposite is true also. the more secure i am as a person, the less i need to be in control. i don’t need it. but if i'm insecure and if i'm fearful i'm going to try to grab for control, i must always have my own way. i must always have the last word. we’ve got to do it my way. i demand my rights. all of those statements are symbols of insecurity.
sin destroyed the perfect relationship and thus began the battle of the sexes. in genesis 3.16 (ber), GOD tells eve, you will be drawn to your husband yet he will dominate you.
that wasn’t GOD’s plan or idea. but that’s what happened when fear entered the relationship.
sadly GOD’s ideal was destroyed. instead of complementing each other, husbands and wives started competing with each other. GOD made women and men totally different for a purpose. we’re different in every genetic component of our bodies. our dna is different. we’re just different. we were meant to complement each other not to compete with each other.
the root problem in a lot of marriages i’ve seen is the power struggle between two very insecure people. and the issue is who’s going to be in control. there’s a constant battle and it’s revealing insecurity.
now if these are the fears that disconnect us what causes us to reconnect to those we love? the answer is honesty. because fear makes us dishonest. we hide our feeling. we hide our faults. we hide our fears. dishonesty of course destroys relationships.
1 john 1.7 (niv), if we live in the light as GOD is in the light, we can share fellowship with each other.
fellowship means a close relationship, a connection which comes from living in the light, living out in the open, being honest, being authentic, being truthful. and GOD is in the light because GOD is always honest. GOD cannot lie. GOD always tells the truth.
great relationships are built on trust. and you don't trust people who lie to you. you don’t trust people who don’t tell you the truth. so if you don’t tell the truth in your relationship there’s not going to be any trust. and if there’s not any trust you don’t have a relationship. you’re disconnected. so it starts with being honest.
just a thought from the front porch…
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