we are looking here on the front porch at what is love?. and it tells us in 1 corinthians 13.4 (tev) that love is not conceited or proud. so if you want to build authentic relationships, you’ve got to learn the characteristic of humility. love is humility.
humility may be the most misunderstood character quality that GOD ever invented. so before we begin looking at what it is, let me explain to you what humility is not. humility is not shyness. it’s not being timid or bashful. it’s not being a weak or spineless wimp. humility is not a lack of confidence. it’s not insecurity. humility is definitely not having a low opinion of yourself. JESUS was very humble and yet HE did not have a low opinion of himself. humility is not being a passive doormat. humility is not having poor self-esteem. humility is not putting yourself down all the time saying, “i’m no good. i’m nothing. i’m worthless. i’m junk.” JESUS never put himself down, and yet HE was the most humble person whoever lived. HE never degraded himself.
as we will see, humility takes enormous amounts of courage. humility takes self-confidence. it takes a high self-esteem. it takes a personal security. in fact, insecure people cannot be humble. they have a very hard time being humble. insecurity produces the exact opposite in our lives. it produces pride. whenever you find somebody who is arrogant, prideful, boastful, egotistical or self-concerned, you can know that they are masking deep insecurity.
insecurity causes us to brag. insecurity causes us to boast. insecurity causes us to exaggerate. it causes us to worry about what other people think of us. it is insecurity that causes us to be hypercritical and judgmental of other people. so rather than pride being a matter of confidence, humility – the exact opposite – is a matter of confidence. JESUS was able to be humble because HE knew exactly who HE was.
just a thought from the front porch…
Showing posts with label insecurity. Show all posts
Showing posts with label insecurity. Show all posts
Thursday, July 15, 2010
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
but will I be accepted?…
we are looking at the disconnecting because of pride. pride causes us to compare and compete with other people. comparing and competing are the twin sisters of pride. they destroy relationships rather than build relationships.
actually when you really look under the surface, pride is just another expression of fear, of insecurity. pride is usually motivated by insecurity.
when you see someone who has to boast all the time, has to brag all the time, can never admit when they’re wrong they are masking massive insecurities. when we’re afraid, when we fear being rejected we build up a wall of pride. we don’t let people get close to us. we hold them at arm’s distance because if they see what we’re really like, if they get close, they may not like us. and we don't want that to happen.
so we pretend we are what we aren’t and we build ourselves up bigger than what we are because we don’t think people will accept us as we really are. it’s just an expression of insecurity.
now if pride causes us to disconnect, what causes us to reconnect to people? the answer’s obvious. it’s humility.
pride disconnects, humility reconnects. 1 peter 5.5 (niv) says, clothe yourself with humility toward one another.
if you want to get dressed for successful relationships, always go out with the overcoat of humility. the bible says, love is not proud. that means anytime you’re prideful you’re not being loving. you’re not being loving in the relationship.
philippians 2.3 (ncv), don’t let selfishness or pride be your guide. instead be humble and give more honor to others than to yourself.
what is humility? humility is not putting yourself down all the time. it’s not saying, “i'm nothing. i'm no good. i'm worthless. you don’t deserve me.” that’s actually false humility and a form of pride. you’re asking for strokes.
real humility is not thinking less of yourself. real humility is just not thinking about yourself. it’s thinking about the other person more than you think about you.
just a thought from the front porch…
actually when you really look under the surface, pride is just another expression of fear, of insecurity. pride is usually motivated by insecurity.
when you see someone who has to boast all the time, has to brag all the time, can never admit when they’re wrong they are masking massive insecurities. when we’re afraid, when we fear being rejected we build up a wall of pride. we don’t let people get close to us. we hold them at arm’s distance because if they see what we’re really like, if they get close, they may not like us. and we don't want that to happen.
so we pretend we are what we aren’t and we build ourselves up bigger than what we are because we don’t think people will accept us as we really are. it’s just an expression of insecurity.
now if pride causes us to disconnect, what causes us to reconnect to people? the answer’s obvious. it’s humility.
pride disconnects, humility reconnects. 1 peter 5.5 (niv) says, clothe yourself with humility toward one another.
if you want to get dressed for successful relationships, always go out with the overcoat of humility. the bible says, love is not proud. that means anytime you’re prideful you’re not being loving. you’re not being loving in the relationship.
philippians 2.3 (ncv), don’t let selfishness or pride be your guide. instead be humble and give more honor to others than to yourself.
what is humility? humility is not putting yourself down all the time. it’s not saying, “i'm nothing. i'm no good. i'm worthless. you don’t deserve me.” that’s actually false humility and a form of pride. you’re asking for strokes.
real humility is not thinking less of yourself. real humility is just not thinking about yourself. it’s thinking about the other person more than you think about you.
just a thought from the front porch…
Monday, March 22, 2010
statements of fear and insecurity…
there’s another fear that we have that disconnects us and that is when we fear losing our freedom. when we fear losing our freedom that makes us demanding.
fear and insecurity demand that i must always be in control. the more insecure i am the more i have to be in control. the opposite is true also. the more secure i am as a person, the less i need to be in control. i don’t need it. but if i'm insecure and if i'm fearful i'm going to try to grab for control, i must always have my own way. i must always have the last word. we’ve got to do it my way. i demand my rights. all of those statements are symbols of insecurity.
sin destroyed the perfect relationship and thus began the battle of the sexes. in genesis 3.16 (ber), GOD tells eve, you will be drawn to your husband yet he will dominate you.
that wasn’t GOD’s plan or idea. but that’s what happened when fear entered the relationship.
sadly GOD’s ideal was destroyed. instead of complementing each other, husbands and wives started competing with each other. GOD made women and men totally different for a purpose. we’re different in every genetic component of our bodies. our dna is different. we’re just different. we were meant to complement each other not to compete with each other.
the root problem in a lot of marriages i’ve seen is the power struggle between two very insecure people. and the issue is who’s going to be in control. there’s a constant battle and it’s revealing insecurity.
now if these are the fears that disconnect us what causes us to reconnect to those we love? the answer is honesty. because fear makes us dishonest. we hide our feeling. we hide our faults. we hide our fears. dishonesty of course destroys relationships.
1 john 1.7 (niv), if we live in the light as GOD is in the light, we can share fellowship with each other.
fellowship means a close relationship, a connection which comes from living in the light, living out in the open, being honest, being authentic, being truthful. and GOD is in the light because GOD is always honest. GOD cannot lie. GOD always tells the truth.
great relationships are built on trust. and you don't trust people who lie to you. you don’t trust people who don’t tell you the truth. so if you don’t tell the truth in your relationship there’s not going to be any trust. and if there’s not any trust you don’t have a relationship. you’re disconnected. so it starts with being honest.
just a thought from the front porch…
fear and insecurity demand that i must always be in control. the more insecure i am the more i have to be in control. the opposite is true also. the more secure i am as a person, the less i need to be in control. i don’t need it. but if i'm insecure and if i'm fearful i'm going to try to grab for control, i must always have my own way. i must always have the last word. we’ve got to do it my way. i demand my rights. all of those statements are symbols of insecurity.
sin destroyed the perfect relationship and thus began the battle of the sexes. in genesis 3.16 (ber), GOD tells eve, you will be drawn to your husband yet he will dominate you.
that wasn’t GOD’s plan or idea. but that’s what happened when fear entered the relationship.
sadly GOD’s ideal was destroyed. instead of complementing each other, husbands and wives started competing with each other. GOD made women and men totally different for a purpose. we’re different in every genetic component of our bodies. our dna is different. we’re just different. we were meant to complement each other not to compete with each other.
the root problem in a lot of marriages i’ve seen is the power struggle between two very insecure people. and the issue is who’s going to be in control. there’s a constant battle and it’s revealing insecurity.
now if these are the fears that disconnect us what causes us to reconnect to those we love? the answer is honesty. because fear makes us dishonest. we hide our feeling. we hide our faults. we hide our fears. dishonesty of course destroys relationships.
1 john 1.7 (niv), if we live in the light as GOD is in the light, we can share fellowship with each other.
fellowship means a close relationship, a connection which comes from living in the light, living out in the open, being honest, being authentic, being truthful. and GOD is in the light because GOD is always honest. GOD cannot lie. GOD always tells the truth.
great relationships are built on trust. and you don't trust people who lie to you. you don’t trust people who don’t tell you the truth. so if you don’t tell the truth in your relationship there’s not going to be any trust. and if there’s not any trust you don’t have a relationship. you’re disconnected. so it starts with being honest.
just a thought from the front porch…
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