pretend, judge or love?…

some of you have not felt loving toward a loved one for weeks or months or maybe even years. you have a parent, a husband or wife, a partner, a brother or sister or some relative, but you don’t love them and you don’t feel any love toward them. because you’re stuffing the truth. you’re pushing it down. you’re not dealing with it and you are killing the relationship.

margaret becker wrote a song called honesty. part of it goes like this, “tonight by the glow of the firelight you found the courage to speak your mind and tear down the walls you’ve been hiding behind. so many of us spend so much of our time smoothing things over and pretending they’re fine.”

who do you need to have an honest conversation with? who do you need to speak the truth in love to? somebody in your neighborhood? do you see a teen-ager heading down the wrong direction, getting involved in things they have no business getting involved in and you know that their parents aren’t going to do anything about it. will you? will you care enough to speak the truth in love? as a friend. what are you pretending isn’t a problem in your relationships? what are you pretending not to know? what is the pink elephant in the center of your living room?

let me ask this: what excuses have you been giving to procrastinate bringing up the issue that everybody needs to deal with? “i don’t want to make it worse!” being quiet will make it worse. “i don’t want to be judgmental.” we talked about this. it isn’t about being judgmental. it’s about being loving. “i don’t know what to say. i don’t know the answer.” you don’t have to know the answer. you only have to point out the problem. GOD will take care of step two. GOD has not called you to solve everybody’s problem in the whole world. you don’t have to solve everybody’s problem, but you do have to care enough when you see the problem of somebody you love to point it out. that’s called love. graduate-level loving. you care enough to not be quiet. you speak up.

you say, “it’s not my place. it’s none of my business. who am i to point that out?” the phrase “it’s none of my business” is one of the most selfish statements ever created. basically, the person who says, “it’s none of my business,” is saying, “the rest of the world can go to hell in a handbag. i don’t care.” it’s an incredibly selfish statement. love demands that sometimes you confront. love demands that sometimes you say, “this isn’t working out. stop this. let me help you.” will you care enough to confront?

i realize that what i’m talking about is for mature audiences only. you can’t handle this unless you’ve got a level of maturity. this is so counter culture. our culture basically says, “let everybody do what they want to do and don’t worry about it. it’s no skin off my nose. if they want to mess up their lives, if they want to destroy their marriage, their life, fine.” the real issue is, are you willing to be used by GOD?

just a thought from the front porch…