both realistic and optimistic…

2 corinthians 7.4 (Gw) says, i have great confidence in you, and i have a lot of reasons to be proud of you. paul says this right in the middle of some very tough truths, where he’s saying, “this is some stuff you need to work on.” he’s leveling with them. he’s not pulling any punches. but in the middle of it, he says in affirmation, i have great confidence in you, and i have a lot of reasons to be proud of you.

if you want to move from grade-school loving to graduate-level loving, if you want to be a master at the art of love, you have to learn in a relationship to be both realistic and optimistic at the same time. realistic and optimistic. point out what’s really good and what isn’t so good that needs to be better. you say, “i believe with GOD’s help you can change... i believe with GOD’s help we can have a stronger relationship... i believe with GOD’s help there can be a different closeness and level of intimacy together…”

this issue of speaking the truth in love is still something that you learn from practice. it’s a skill you learn from practice. you get better at it.

now whether it’s a big problem in the relationship or a little problem whether it’s a major issue or it’s a minor issue, you’re going to have to take this last step if you want to be a graduate-level lover. and this you must risk their rejection.

paul did this in 2 corinthians 7.8-11 (ms), i know i have distressed you greatly with my letter and although i felt awful at the time i don’t feel bad now that i see how it’s turned out. the letter upset you but only for a while and you were jarred into turning things around. you let the distress bring you to GOD. and that’s what i was hoping for in the first place when i wrote the letter.

the truth is, it’s scary to do a speaking-the-truth-in-love to somebody. we don’t know how they’re going to react. they may get mad. they may walk out. they may misjudge your motivation. they may attack you. you don’t know what’s going to happen. so it’s scary, and you’re taking a great risk.

and because we don’t want to take that risk, we settle for superficial, shallow relationships.

just a thought from the front porch…