Friday, August 20, 2010

being wounded or being wronged…

forgiveness is not minimizing the seriousness of the offense. it’s not saying, “it’s not a big deal.” or “it’s ok. it didn’t really hurt me.” or if somebody tries to ask forgiveness, you say, “don’t worry about it. it’s no big deal. it didn’t hurt.” that is not forgiveness.

you need to understand the difference between being wounded and being wronged. those are two very different things. being wounded is something that is accidental, somebody hurts you accidentally. when you are wronged, they intentionally mean to hurt you. they are very different. when you are wounded, that does not require forgiveness. you’re hurt unintentionally all the time. you just need patience and acceptance at that. but when you’re wronged, when other people wrong you, that requires forgiveness. big difference.

sometimes we use forgiveness for all kinds of stuff that forgiveness doesn’t have anything to do with. let’s say you don’t like the way i normally dress. maybe that offends your fashion consciousness. i don’t need your forgiveness. i just need your acceptance. i may wound you. i may offend you. but i haven’t really harmed you intentionally. forgiveness is reserved for the serious stuff, when you’re intentionally hurt. when you minimize a wrong, either your own or somebody else’s, you are cheapening forgiveness.

so forgiveness is not conditional – it is unconditional. and it is not minimizing the seriousness of an offense saying it’s no big deal.

just a thought from the front porch…


Rachel said...

I love how you pointed out the differences between being wronged and being wounded and how forgiveness comes into play.

So when we ask forgiveness with God - is it for only the intentional wrongs we do? Of course, we have God's complete forgiveness always in Christ. We really don't need to ask for it. We have it. Perhaps it is more of an awareness of turning away from our ill ways once God opens our eyes to them so that we can walk in truth, love and true life. If you are truly His – you don’t want to walk contrary to His will. You want to walk in His will so that you will have a deep unity with Him. Sorry - I bit of stream of consciousness going on here.

But what do you think about this idea of asking for forgiveness from God for a believer – once we’ve already accepted the complete perfect sacrifice of Christ?

bill said...

as i john 1.9 say, as we confess our sins HE is then faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleans us fron all unrighteousness. in order to benefit from HIS forgiveness we must confess and then ask for it.

right now i am just dealing with what it isn't and then i will look at what it is.

always rachel, thanks for the comment.