Tuesday, May 22, 2012

reacting because they remind you…

there are three tests to see who we are to forgive.  we looked yesterday at the blame test and the bitterness test and here is the third one, the behavior test.

this one goes like this: do you ever find yourself reacting to someone because they remind you of somebody else?  “you’re just like my father/mother/ brother/sister.” 

what you’ve done is you’ve never done business with the original person and never settled that issue and you’ve never let it go so now what you’ve done is you’ve taken all that frustration and anger and resentment and you’ve turned it on this innocent party so that all of a sudden in a moment they remind you of somebody else and you explode.  and that’s not fair and you are killing the marriage. 

listen, you need to do business with the person you’re really angry at.  you need to let it go and then you can get on with your life and not let some other relationship destroy a current relationship.  maybe it’s a former spouse or whatever. 

job 5.2 (gnt) says, to worry yourself to death with resentment would be a foolish, senseless thing to do. 

in the story in matthew 18 that we have been looking at, when the man refused to be forgiving to other people the king says throw him into prison and let the torturers have him.

when you start being resentful GOD doesn’t have to throw you into prison you do it to yourself.  resentment is a self-imposed prison and every time you go over and over and over it in your mind you just hurt yourself again instead of getting on with your life and living a life of peace. 

listen, you cannot afford the luxury of a bitter heart no matter what happens in your life.  you cannot hold on to it.  it only makes it worse. 

i don’t know what you’ve gone through but you’ve got to let it go because god has forgiven you and because resentment doesn’t work.  it only makes you miserable.  it only prolongs the pain. 

just a thought from the front porch… 


Kola said...

i love your blog! I truly feel like i'm sitting on your front porch, learning from you

bill williams said...

thank you so much, kola. it is really great having you here.