trust them with responsibility. that’s how you build confidence. whether it’s in a child or an employee or friend, trust them with responsibility. nothing builds confidence faster than trusting them with responsibility. all of us have a need to be trusted, to prove ourselves, to develop competence and skill.
have you ever been on the first day of a job? well there was this young pastor who was in his first church. the lead pastor had been there for nearly 20 years, he had a doctor’s degree. the young guy was very intimidated by him. this older pastor brought him into the office and set him down, his first day on the staff, and said, “you wouldn't be here if i didn’t trust you. the fact is i do trust you so whatever you want to do to try to reach young people for CHRIST, i’ll support you in.” the young guy said, “i blossomed with that kind of trust. somebody believed in me. somebody said, ‘go for it!’”
that’s what happens when you tell your kids, “i’m going to give you some responsibility.” over protectionism is a form of rejection. you’re in essence saying, “you’re incompetent. you can’t do it. i’ve got to do it for you.”
when we take responsibility for people, we take it away from them. no matter how much you love that person, if you won’t let them grow up, you’re rejecting them. you can love someone and reject them at the same time. if you won’t let them grow up, if you won’t let them change. give them responsibility.
proverbs 11.13 (gnb), you can put confidence in someone who is trustworthy.
john 20.21 (niv) JESUS said, as the FATHER has sent ME, so am I sending you.
JESUS trusted HIS disciples. would you? would you trust the disciples with the salvation of the world? JESUS did. they were ordinary people and they blossomed because HE accepted their uniqueness and HE trusted them with responsibility.
frank freed once said, “if i were a parent starting over i’d do less for my kids and make them do more for themselves to build their confidence.”
just a thought from the front porch…