Another kill-joy in a relationship is resentment. Resentment says, "I won't forgive
you."
We hurt each other in relationships, sometimes
intentionally, sometime unintentionally.
Listen we are humane beings and because of that we misunderstand each
other, we have conflict. You are going
to be hurt in relationships – it's a fact of life. And what you do with that hurt makes a
difference whether you're joyful or you're miserable.
Nothing destroys a relationship faster than
resentment. Hebrews 12:15 (LB), "Watch out that no
bitterness takes root among you, for as it springs up it causes deep trouble,
hurting many in their spiritual lives."
I've had people says, "I just don't love him
anymore. I just don't have any feelings
for her anymore. It's empty inside. It's not hate, I just feel nothing. I just don't feel anything anymore." And when I hear that I always know that
resentment has been involved somehow, because resentment eats up emotional
energy.
What happens is you spend all your time resenting
the fact that they hurt you someway and pretty soon you have no emotional energy
left and you're empty inside. Resentment
is a kill-joy in relationships.
You say, "This is not what I expected. I really feel cheated in the
relationship. It is false
advertising. It’s not at all what I
expected it to be."
Listen, what gives you the idea that you deserve the
perfect mate? They're probably a little
disappointed in you too. The fact is
that marriage is built on two very imperfect people trying to work on it. But
if you just expect perfection and don't work on it, you're going to lose your joy. Don't worry about it.
Proverbs 11:29 (LB), "The fool who provokes
his family to anger and resentment will finally have nothing worthwhile
left."
He's saying that if you refuse to forgive, you're
only hurting yourself. We've talked
about this a lot. Resentment always
hurts you more than it does anybody else.
Just a thought from the front porch…
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