Monday, January 13, 2014

It can destroy a relationship fast…

Another kill-joy in a relationship is resentment.  Resentment says, "I won't forgive you." 

We hurt each other in relationships, sometimes intentionally, sometime unintentionally.  Listen we are humane beings and because of that we misunderstand each other, we have conflict.  You are going to be hurt in relationships – it's a fact of life.  And what you do with that hurt makes a difference whether you're joyful or you're miserable. 

Nothing destroys a relationship faster than resentment.  Hebrews 12:15 (LB), "Watch out that no bitterness takes root among you, for as it springs up it causes deep trouble, hurting many in their spiritual lives."

I've had people says, "I just don't love him anymore.  I just don't have any feelings for her anymore.  It's empty inside.  It's not hate, I just feel nothing.  I just don't feel anything anymore."  And when I hear that I always know that resentment has been involved somehow, because resentment eats up emotional energy. 

What happens is you spend all your time resenting the fact that they hurt you someway and pretty soon you have no emotional energy left and you're empty inside.  Resentment is a kill-joy in relationships.

You say, "This is not what I expected.  I really feel cheated in the relationship.  It is false advertising.  It’s not at all what I expected it to be."

Listen, what gives you the idea that you deserve the perfect mate?  They're probably a little disappointed in you too.  The fact is that marriage is built on two very imperfect people trying to work on it. But if you just expect perfection and don't work on it, you're going to lose your joy.  Don't worry about it.

Proverbs 11:29 (LB), "The fool who provokes his family to anger and resentment will finally have nothing worthwhile left." 

He's saying that if you refuse to forgive, you're only hurting yourself.  We've talked about this a lot.  Resentment always hurts you more than it does anybody else. 

Just a thought from the front porch…

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