when people around you won’t change…

we’re going to continue in our series as we go through the LORD’s prayer.  GOD says the key to peace is prayer.  in philippians 4 HE says, don’t worry about anything. instead pray about everything… and GOD’s peace …will rule your hearts and minds as you live in CHRIST JESUS.

so GOD says the more you pray the more peace you have.  the less you pray the less peace you’ll have.  you can either worry or pray as you go through life.

the truth is it’s really quite easy to lose your internal peace.  one minute everything’s cool.  you’re kicked back, laid back and it feels good and you’re in serenity.  and the next minute you get a phone call and you’re stressed out.  it’s very easy to lose your peace. 

now as i said we are going through the LORD’s prayer, the prayer that JESUS gave us as an example; we’re going through it phrase by phrase.  and we see that matthew 6.10 (gnt), may YOUr kingdom come, may YOUr will be done on earth as it is in heaven, shows us what to pray in different situations.

one of these situations is when people around you won’t change (they’re unchangeable), then i surrender to GOD’s control.  i accept what YOU, GOD want to do with me because YOU’re in control. 

now we don’t like this word “surrender”.  surrender means raising the white flag.  surrender means giving up, forfeiting the game, saying, “i’ve lost.  you’ve won.” 

sometimes you and i think we know better.  and sometimes you say, “i know there are some verses in the bible but i want to ignore those because they don’t fit my agenda.  i know what GOD says here but i’m just going to pretend that verse just isn’t in the bible.  i’m going to ignore it and do what i want to do.  i’m going to make up my own rules.” 

and when we do this we always use the same phrase “but GOD wants me to be happy.”

anytime you hear somebody say that – “but GOD wants me to be happy” – it means that they’re probably justifying something the bible says don’t do.  almost inevitably they’re going to be justifying, rationalizing in their mind what god says not to do.  and you know what rationalize is...  rational lies.  rationalize means i tell with my head what my heart says is wrong, what i know in my heart is wrong. 

just a thought from the front porch…

having success with people…

here in the fifth chapter of the nt book of james we see that it is useful to be patient all the time but one of the special times that we need an extra dose of patience is when people won’t change.  when they won’t even try to be difference in their behavior. 

he gives us an example here in verse 10 (msg), take the old prophets as your mentors. they put up with anything, went through everything, and never once quit, all the time honoring GOD.

you might ask, “what was the function of prophets?  what did they do?”  well, they were to help people change, to bring them back to GOD, to help them be different in their behavior.  it was not an easy job.

have you noticed that people resist change?  when you make any little tiny suggestion, they resist you! 

                                                  

do you have anybody in your life right now who refuses to change?  do you know how difficult it is to live with that kind of person?  we need patience with people.  joyce landorf calls these “irregular people” – they are people who only see their own way.  they may never change.  what are you going to do about it?  james says to have patience.

now the word “patience” in the greek is the word “macrothumos” – “macro” meaning “long” and “thumos” (from which we get the word “thermometer”) meaning “heat”.  it literally means “it takes a long time for you to get hot”.  you’ve got a long fuse, you don’t blow up, you don’t get overheated with people. 

if you’re going to be a success with people, you have to learn patience.  if you’re going to be successful parents, you have to have a long fuse.  you don’t get overheated. 

james says you need to be patient when people are unchangeable and won’t cooperate with you. 

just a thought from the front porch…

how to store up treasures in heaven…

in dealing with your wealth, you’ve heard many people say, “you can’t take it with you.”  that’s very true, but you can send it on ahead.  matthew 6.20-21 (niv), store up for yourselves treasures in heaven…where your treasure is your heart will be also.

heard about a guy who died and got to heaven and he saw all these mansions and then one little shack and he said, “is that where i’m suppose to live?  why?”  the answer was, that’s all the building material you sent ahead.

how do you send it on ahead?  how do you store up treasures in heaven?  the only way you can store up treasure in heaven is by investing it in people who are going there.  there are only two things that are going to last forever: the word of GOD and people.  everything else is going to burn up in the judgment.  invest your time and money in the word of GOD and people.  when you invest in these two things then you will store up treasures in heaven.

JESUS told us that when you use money and invest it in people who come to know HIM, you’re making friends for eternity.  when you get to heaven, they’ll say they are there because of you.  many of you give to your church and many people will be in heaven because of your church.  there will be people up there who will say to you, because you gave i am here in heaven.  JESUS says use your affluence for good influence.  then people will welcome you into eternity.

who is going to be the welcoming committee for you?  who’s going to say, “i'm here because of you.”  we should use the right application and give money generously.  everything we give on this side of eternity is being accredited to our account on the other side of eternity.

just a thought from the front porch…

4 qualifications to make as much money as you can…

scripture says you can make as much money as you can in your life as long as you meet these four qualifications.

1.  as long as it doesn’t hurt your own health.   some people literally work themselves to death.  they amass a personal fortune and then have a heart attack.  scripture teaches that health must always take priority over wealth.  proverbs 23.4 (niv), do not wear yourselves out to get rich.  have the wisdom to show restraint.  there are so many people working themselves to death trying to afford things that really we don’t need.  don’t wear yourself out trying to get rich.  health must take a priority over wealth. 

2.  as long as it doesn’t hurt my family.  how many homes have fallen apart because kids are being ignored while parents are too busy making money to buy things for their kids?  i discovered early on that what my kids wanted was not so much things but me.  they just wanted me to spend time with them.  they’d rather have my time that anything i could afford.  we get so busy making a living that we forget to have a life.

3.  as long as it doesn’t hurt other people.  this is the exact opposite of the world’s view which says, it’s a dog eat dog world, get all you can get.  GOD demands that we make money honestly and fairly.  proverbs 22.20 (niv), a fortune can be made from cheating but there’s a curse that goes with it.  we are going to reap what we sow.  proverbs 16.8 (niv), it’s better to have a little, honestly earned than a large income dishonestly gained.

4.  as long as i keep my SPIRITual life on the same level.  the principle of balance.  as long as my spiritual growth is progressing at the level as my financial prosperity, go ahead and make what you can.  3 john 2 (niv), beloved i wish that you may prosper and be in health even as your soul prospers.  john says i pray that GOD will bless you financially as you are blessed SPIRITually.  i pray that you will prosper as much financially as you prosper SPIRITually.  GOD wants us to be in balance.  if my income and your income were at the same degree as your walk with the LORD would you be a millionaire or a pauper or somewhere in between.  there must be a balance.

GOD says if you’re going to set financial goals, you need to set SPIRITual ones too.  set some relational goals.  if all you do is set financial goals then you are out of balance and GOD says it’s wrong.

just a thought from the front porch…

a common area of discrimination…

now in this matter of not showing favoritism in order to deal with it we need to look at some common areas of discrimination.

one is appearance.  appearance – we discriminate often because of appearance. 

beauty is everything in our world.  if you’re a cute kid, you’ve got it made.  if you’re plain, tough luck.  we judge people on their appearance – how thy look, how they dress.

i heard about an experiment with some hitchhikers.  they dressed them up in different ways and the more dressier the hitchhiker was the more likely he was going to get picked up.  how you dress definitely influences how you relate to people.

how do you judge people?  do you judge them immediately by how they look?  if somebody has long hair and a beard do you walk up to them and say, “JESUS saves and shaves”?  do you judge them immediately?

even CHRISTians get caught up in this dress for power, dress for success, dress to be cool.  we’re so concerned with what’s in and what’s out, what’s hot and what’s not.

have you heard of the gild radner philosophy of dress:  “i make my fashion choices based on what doesn’t itch.”  folks, i dress for comfort.  that’s why i don’t wear a suit and a tie anymore – it’s just more comfortable.  i dress to be comfortable but some people have problems with that.  you’re a preacher.  you should wear a black suit and a tie.

just a thought from the front porch…

our biggest problems…

james here in the latter part of chapter one is saying that the blessing of the bible comes when we start living it….and here are the three ways in a nutshell to apply GOD’s word to your life and see the results:

* read it! – set a time and territory and select a translation.

* remember it! – reflect in what you’re reading and

* respond to it! – apply it, do something with what you’ve read and heard.

now james in chapter two changes direction.  your biggest problems and my biggest problems are people problems – getting along with other people.  someone said, “to dwell above with those you love, that will be glory.  but to dwell below with those we know, well, that’s another story.”  so we are going to see what james says about how to get along with people. 

james 2.1 (niv) says, my brothers, as believers in our glorious LORD JESUS CHRIST, don’t show favoritism.  the principle he gives here is don’t show favoritism.

now whenever james starts a sentence with my brothers then you know he’s getting ready to nail you.  you can count on it!  what he is talking about here is prejudice, partiality, favoritism.  the new english bible calls it snobbery.  he says, “don’t be a snob.”

a snob is someone whose nose turns up when their eyes look down, somebody who always thinks they’re better than everybody else.  the greek word is a compound word that means “to receive” and “to face.”  it literally means “to receive somebody’s face.” – to receive somebody at face value, on the basis of how they look, superficial judgment.

james says, “don’t do that”.  don’t accept people just on superficial judgments.  the new english bible says, never treat anybody in a different way according to their outward appearance.  it is a common social disease.

just a thought from the front porch…

let’s be honest…

who do you talk to when you feel hopeless?  i’ll tell you what my default is.  when i feel hopeless, my default is to not talk to anybody.  to throw myself into some work or into some project and just hope the feeling goes away.  or to set down in front of the tv and click through 150 channels hoping i’ll find hope on one of those channels.  i’ve never found it yet but i just keep hoping.  it doesn’t happen that way.

who do you talk to when you feel hopeless?  you need to talk to other people.  let other people in on it.  let them pray for patience in your life.  lift each other up.  but even that isn’t enough.  you talk to other people but also you talk to GOD about it.  the feelings build.  these feelings of hopelessness, anxiety, discouragement you might have.  they build.  eventually you’re either going to blow up or you’re going to cave it.  so you talk to other people about it.  but also you talk to GOD about it.  you talk to HIM regularly.  you talk to HIM honestly.  you talk to HIM about it. 

psalm 17.1 (tev) says something about that.  i want you to notice particularly a word at the end of this verse.  listen o LORD to my plea for justice.  pay attention to my cry for help.  listen to my honest prayer.  do you see it?  it says, honest prayer. 

do you know why a lot of us don’t like to pray, i think?  we don’t pray honest prayers.  we pray these pious prayers.  we pray these fancy prayers.  we pray these religious prayers.  we pray these pattern prayers like other people have prayed.  so it doesn’t feel like us.  it feels phony.  it feels fake.  because it is.  it’s not us.  and GOD says, “you know what i’m looking for?  I’m looking for honest prayers.  tell ME how you feel.  tell ME what’s really going through your mind.”  HE already knows anyway.  HE’s the GOD of the universe.  HE knows everything you’re thinking.  so if you can’t talk to GOD honestly, who can you talk to honestly?  you’d enjoy praying a lot more, you’d get a lot more out of prayer, if you talked to GOD honestly. 

just a thought from the front porch…

put people in their place…

in overcoming the fear of rejection, i must put GOD in first place and also put people in their place.

that doesn't mean to drop kick them into the next county.  i'm talking about putting their opinions in the right place, having the right perspective.  not overvaluing what they say. 

isaiah 51.12 (tev), the LORD says, “I’m the one who strengthens you. why then should you fear mortal man who is no more enduring that the grass?”  HE’s saying everybody's temporary.  HE’s saying, “why are you afraid of other people’s opinions.  other people are not GOD.  their opinions aren't going to last anyway.”  the secret of success is to outlast your critics, keep on going.  HE says if mortal man puts you down, don't worry about it, HE, GOD is the one who counts.  don't assume that when other people make judgments or criticisms on your life, that they're infallible, because, most likely, they're not. they're going to make mistakes. 

don't assume that their judgments are straight from GOD.  if somebody comes up and criticizes you, you don't have to automatically accept it.  you ought to judge it for what it's worth. 

why am i saying this?  when people's approval becomes all-important to you, you're setting yourself up to be afraid.  you're setting yourself up.

just a thought from the front porch…

things or people…

the best use of life is love and the best expression of love is time and the best time to love is now.  now, not next week, not later, not when things settle down, not when we reach a certain standard of living.  who are you kidding?  it’s now. 

galatians 6.10 (nlt), whenever we have the opportunity we should do good to everyone.  ephesians 5.16 (ncv), use every chance you have for doing good.  proverbs 3.27-28 (tev), whenever you possibly can, do good to those who need it.  never tell your neighbor to wait until tomorrow if you can help them now.  if it’s good for neighbors it certainly applies to families too. 

there are some activities in your life in which procrastination is a legitimate response because some things just aren’t that important and you ought to put them off.  but since love is the most important thing in life, anytime you choose something else over a loving relationship you’ve just made a stupid decision.  you’ve missed the point of life.  you have made the wrong choice. 

why?  why is now the best time to express love?  because you don’t know how long you’re going to get the opportunity to do it.  circumstances change.  people die.  children grow up and leave home.  you’re not guaranteed a tomorrow.  if you’re going to express love you’d better do it now. 

charles colson and george mcgovern are at opposite extremes in the political spectrum.  in fact in the 72 presidential campaign of mcgovern versus nixon they worked on opposite sides.  but they both ended up with the same regret. 

chuck colson wrote, “as i think back out on my life my biggest regret is not spending more time with the kids.  making family your top priority means going against the culture where materialism and workaholism are rampant.  it means realizing you may not advance as fast in your career as some do.  it means being willing to accept a lower standard of living knowing that you’re doing the right thing for your children, giving them the emotional security that they will draw on for the rest of their lives.”  are you willing to make that financial sacrifice?  or are things more important than people? 

george mcgovern, one time presidential candidate, wrote a book about his daughter terry who died of alcoholism.  in 1994 she was found frozen to death in a snow bank where she’d fallen in a drunken stupor.  after his daughter died mcgovern poured over terry’s diaries and talked to all her friends trying to figure out what she was thinking and he discovered that he was not as good as father as he thought he’d been.  while he was spending eighteen-hour days fighting for political causes his daughter terry was at home writing in her diary that she missed her daddy but he probably didn’t miss her because he probably didn’t care about her.  mcgovern wrote in his advice to parents “show more love to your kids by spending more time with them especially during the adolescent years.  no matter what it costs your career, that way neither of you will have regrets.”  and he writes this, “i’d give everything i have and i mean everything for one more afternoon with terry, just to tell her how much i love her and have one more of those happy times that we used to have all too infrequently.”

just a thought from the front porch…

dealing with difficult people…

newsweek awhile back had a cover article called stress on the job. what you and your boss can do about it. it had on the cover, dagwood bumstead being twirled around by his boss in midair.

it’s interesting as you read through it that the number one source of stress is people. in your work situation, difficult people. and there are five different kinds of difficult people to deal with.

#1. demanding people.
#2. dishonest people.
#3. disagreeable people.
#4. defensive people.
and #5 demeaning people.

so how do you deal with people like that?

well, the bible says, first of all realize that you can't please everybody. you can't.

romans 12 verse 18 (niv), if it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.

listen, there are some people that you can't please? no matter what you do, no matter what you try, no matter how nice you are to them, you just can't please them. they are unpleaseable. you can't please everybody but you also don't need to please everybody.

look at this verse, proverbs 29.25 in the good news bible, it is dangerous to be concerned with what others think of you.

it is an emotional trap when you start worrying about what other people think. you don't have to please everybody anymore.

you see there is a myth that says, i must be liked and approved of by everybody in order to be happy. but it's just not true. you can be happy in spite of people who still don't like you? you don't have to have everybody in the world's approval in order to get along? you don't need it.

folks, we buy things that we don't need with money that we don't have to impress people that we don't even like. and that is dumb. that just is dumb.

just a thought from the front porch…