one of the greatest barriers to inner peace…

one of the greatest barriers to inner peace…

we’re going to continue in our series as we’re going phrase by phrase through the LORD’s prayer.  we are looking at how to have inner peace in this stress filled world that we live in.

now one of the greatest barriers to inner peace without a doubt is guilt.  millions of people are tortured by guilt.  they are stuck in the past.  they are a slave to regrets, a slave to shame, a slave to things they can’t get out of their mind.  they don’t know how to get out of the past so that they can get on with their life in the present and get into the future.  you cannot have peace of mind and guilt at the same time. 

the thing about guilt is it is a uniquely human emotion.  we share a lot of emotions with animals.  animals have fear.  animals have anger.  animals can express joy and happiness.  animals can even express sadness.  but only human beings have guilt.  no dog ever feels a guilty conscious because no dog is made in the image of GOD. 

you were created with a soul and you were given a conscious and you know the difference between right and wrong.  so this is uniquely human emotion. 

it’s also universal.  everybody feels guilt at different times of their life because we’ve all blown it.  we’ve all made mistakes.  nobody’s perfect.  nobody bats 1000.  so everybody has to deal with this issue in their lives on a continual basis. 

the problem is guilt is an incredibly destructive emotion.  it is probably the number one cause of low self-esteem.  it is probably the number one cause of depression.  and it’s probably the number one cause of anxiety.  when you are filled with guilt and you’re trying to keep something a secret in your life that you’re ashamed of it curses all kinds of emotional difficulties in your life. 

most of all though guilt is a warning light.  it is a warning light that says something is wrong in my life and i need to get it corrected.  that’s the reason GOD allows it.  it’s a corrective warning light.  it’s not something that’s supposed to stay on in your life.  it’s a warning light.  you correct what’s wrong and then you get on with your life.

just a thought from the front porch… 

the real issue of giving us daily bread…

in looking at the phrases of the LORD’s prayer we start with focus on GOD and then JESUS encourages us to pray something like this matthew 6.11 (niv), give us today our daily bread. 

now why would we pray for more daily bread when most of us are trying to stop eating more bread?

here’s why.  because the issue is not really bread.  in fact, in these six words JESUS gives us some life lessons that will help us understand how to achieve inner peace in our lives. 

one thing we learn is to seek GOD as the answer to our needs. 

listen i start to worry every time i look at someone else other than GOD to meet my needs, so the path to inner peace begins by seeking GOD as the answer to my needs. 

picture it like this.  matthew 7.9-11 (nlt), you parents if your children ask for a loaf of bread do you give them a stone instead?  of course not.  or if they ask for a fish, do you give them a snake?  absolutely not.  if you sinful people know how to give good gifts to your children how much more will your heavenly FATHER give good gifts to those who ask HIM. 

now if you are a father, you understand these verses.  when brett and stef came into this world, they made me a father.  they are now adults and i am no longer responsible to meet their physical needs but i remember what it was like to do everything i could to meet their needs. 

and if that’s true of me an imperfect father with incomplete knowledge and limited resources how much more true is it of our heavenly FATHER who is all powerful?

just a thought from the front porch…

the starting place in prayer…

back a few years ago in response to 911 president bush recommended that congress set aside 38 billion dollars for a new department called homeland security but the reality is there are more people in our country right now searching for internal peace and calm than ever before, there is less internal security in our homeland than ever before.

fact – one out of every eight americans between the ages of 18 and 54 suffer from some kind of anxiety disorder.  that is about nineteen million people. 

fact – anxiety disorders are the most common mental illness in america even surpassing depression.  and among senior adults 65 years of age and up, the number one health issue is anxiety.

to many people in our world the path to inner peace seems illusive.  so the question is how do we find it?  if we can’t throw enough personnel at it where does peace in our heart and in our soul come from?

now this is a struggle for all of us.  and being a follower of JESUS does not exempt you from life’s problems.

now we’ve been going week by week through the model prayer of JESUS and we have been seeing that the very essence of prayer is the recognition that i need somebody with a power that i don’t have to help me navigate life successfully. 

that’s why we’ve been unpacking phrase by phrase the model prayer of JESUS. 

if you’ve been here on the front porch you understand that the first part of the model prayer focuses on GOD.  but now at this point in the prayer we make a transition and the focus is now on us.  but the order is important.

here’s why. 

the starting place in prayer is always the acknowledgment of who GOD is. 

that’s why the model prayer begins, our father in heaven, hallowed be your name.  we begin there because if there’s no powerful GOD in heaven and if i don’t have a loving FATHER who is willing to meet my needs then why pray?  that is where some of you are today.

just a thought from the front porch…

let’s pray…

dear FATHER, i have no doubt that there are many people here on the front porch today who are stressed out from resentment and worry and the need to control things.  i’m sure there are many who are struggling with the issue of complete surrender to you.  they’ve held on to something for so long they don’t know how to let it go.  help them to realize how much YOU love them so that they can relax.

now you pray.  say this in your heart, “dear FATHER, YOU know how i’ve resented the unchangeable things of my life that cause me pain.  you know i’ve asked YOU many times for an explanation but it’s never come.  today, i want to stop fighting you over the things i don’t understand.  i want to be at peace.  today i pray the prayer of surrender.  YOUr will be done.  YOUr kingdom come, YOUr will be done in my life.  help me to say that every day.  help me to change the things that i can but to accept the things that cannot be changed.  today, JESUS CHRIST, i accept YOUr plan for my life.  i surrender to YOUr control and i’m going to trust in YOUr care.

in JESUS name I pray, amen.              

Just a thought from the front porch…

a great promise…

there’s a great promise that goes with this prayer of surrender from the LORD’s prayer – YOUr kingdom come, YOUr will be done.  if i pray that and live that what does GOD promise?  matthew 6.33, GOD will give you all you need from day to day if you live for HIM and make the kingdom of GOD your primary concern.

what is the kingdom of GOD?  HIS will in your life and HIS will in the world.  if you say, YOUr will be done and you live that, HE says I’m going to take care of all your needs.

i accept GOD’s plan for my life, i surrender to GOD’s control for my life and i trust GOD’s care for my life.  then GOD says I’m going to take care of all your needs.

are you really at peace today?  or is there turmoil going on in your heart?  are you experiencing anxiety and turmoil and stress over some area that has not been yielded to GOD? 

question: what in your life do you need to surrender? 

i don’t know what it is but you do and GOD does.  and aren’t you tired of being at war with GOD?  aren’t you tired of being in turmoil? 

you can have – GOD promises – the peace of GOD.  you can have that.  you must make peace with GOD before you can have the peace of GOD.

how do you make peace with GOD?  romans 6:13 give yourself to GOD.  surrender your whole being to HIM to be used for HIS righteous purposes. 

HE wants you to live with a purpose.  HE wants you to surrender your whole being to HIM, saying, “GOD, i want to live for YOUr purposes, YOUr plan.  YOUr will be done in my life and on earth as it is in heaven.”

just a thought from the front porch…

when people around you won’t change…

we’re going to continue in our series as we go through the LORD’s prayer.  GOD says the key to peace is prayer.  in philippians 4 HE says, don’t worry about anything. instead pray about everything… and GOD’s peace …will rule your hearts and minds as you live in CHRIST JESUS.

so GOD says the more you pray the more peace you have.  the less you pray the less peace you’ll have.  you can either worry or pray as you go through life.

the truth is it’s really quite easy to lose your internal peace.  one minute everything’s cool.  you’re kicked back, laid back and it feels good and you’re in serenity.  and the next minute you get a phone call and you’re stressed out.  it’s very easy to lose your peace. 

now as i said we are going through the LORD’s prayer, the prayer that JESUS gave us as an example; we’re going through it phrase by phrase.  and we see that matthew 6.10 (gnt), may YOUr kingdom come, may YOUr will be done on earth as it is in heaven, shows us what to pray in different situations.

one of these situations is when people around you won’t change (they’re unchangeable), then i surrender to GOD’s control.  i accept what YOU, GOD want to do with me because YOU’re in control. 

now we don’t like this word “surrender”.  surrender means raising the white flag.  surrender means giving up, forfeiting the game, saying, “i’ve lost.  you’ve won.” 

sometimes you and i think we know better.  and sometimes you say, “i know there are some verses in the bible but i want to ignore those because they don’t fit my agenda.  i know what GOD says here but i’m just going to pretend that verse just isn’t in the bible.  i’m going to ignore it and do what i want to do.  i’m going to make up my own rules.” 

and when we do this we always use the same phrase “but GOD wants me to be happy.”

anytime you hear somebody say that – “but GOD wants me to be happy” – it means that they’re probably justifying something the bible says don’t do.  almost inevitably they’re going to be justifying, rationalizing in their mind what god says not to do.  and you know what rationalize is...  rational lies.  rationalize means i tell with my head what my heart says is wrong, what i know in my heart is wrong. 

just a thought from the front porch…

peace when frustrated…

we are in the LORD’s prayer and looking at the phrases, YOUr kingdom come, YOUr will be 
done.  and you might ask, what does it mean to pray that?

for one it means that i accept GOD’s plan.  instead of my own plan for my life i accept HIS purpose, HIS will for my life. 

part of this – and a big part of it is something that is very difficult – is accepting the things that you can’t change. 

there are a lot of things in your life, in fact most of the major things in your life you cannot change.  you didn’t choose your birth  and you won’t choose your death.  you don’t choose what other people do to you.  you have to accept the things that can’t be changed. 

of course, you change the things you can but what about all those things you can’t change?  how do you have peace when you’re frustrated by something that’s unchangeable? 

T    well worrying doesn’t work.  that certainly doesn’t give you peace. 

T    resenting what you can’t change won’t give you peace. 

T    feeling guilty about what you can’t change in the past or whatever won’t give you peace. 

T    having a pity party about what you can’t change won’t give you peace. 

all of those things you don’t like in your life – i don’t like the parents i got, i don’t like the way i look, i don’t like the talents i’ve been given – all those things, you can’t change them. 

now there’s only one thing that will work when you can’t change something and that is this – acceptance.  i must accept GOD’s will in my life.  YOUr kingdom come, YOUr will be done.

now understand that not everything that happens in you life is GOD’s will.  i’m not saying that.  but you say, GOD, i want YOUr will in my life when there’s things out of my control and i can’t change them.

just a thought from the front porch…

why is life burdensome?...

we have been talking here on the front porch about living up to GOD’s name?  and some of you might be saying, “that sounds like a lot of pressure to me.” 

well, if living the CHRISTian life is one big pressure to you, you’re doing it wrong.  GOD didn’t mean for it to be a pressure.  JESUS said, “I mean for it to be a life of peace, a life of rest.  my commands”, HE says, “are not burdensome.  they’re light.”

so what’s wrong?  why does it all of a sudden for many of us feel so burdensome?

the main reason it becomes burdensome is because we try to do it on our own.  instead of realizing how much GOD loves us and living that life out we take it back for ourselves and say, “i’m going to plug into my power and make it work on my own power.”

it’s not going to work.  you can’t make yourself holy any more than you can make yourself a foot taller just by your own willpower.  it comes by GOD’s power.

so i invite you this week to realize that GOD didn’t call you to live this burdensome CHRISTian life.  just don’t settle for this burden.  just say, “i’m going to ask HIM for the peace.  i’m going to spend this week thinking about how much HE loves me rather than how much i need to do for HIM.  then out of my understanding of HIS love then maybe i can begin to do things for HIM again.” 

you stop trying and you start trusting.  say, “i need this in my life to remind me that the power comes from HIM.”  it’s not a life of pressure.  it’s a life of peace.  out of that life of peace it is a worthy goal to pray, “GOD make my life honor YOUr name.” 

just a thought from the front porch…

the first step in taking care of fighting…

in looking at starting the process of taking care of conflicts and arguments we see that you must take  of the inside first.  colossians 3.15 (niv) says, let the peace of CHRIST rule in your heart.

when we have the peace of CHRIST in our heart then we’ll be at peace with other people.  if we don’t have this in our life – GOD’s peace in our hearts – then we try to manipulate others, try to control them and try to move them around to get what we want out of life.

there was a time in our marriage that margaret and i had a major conflict.  it was horrible.  we have jokingly said, that we have never contemplated divorce in our life, murder yes.  we had three horrible years.  

listen, in every marriage there is some kind of power struggle but we finally got to the point that we said to GOD, we can’t do it, we have to have you.  i was in staff ministry at that time, in a large church in Indiana and i was working 90 plus hours a week.  i was going to make it no matter what it cost and it about cost my family but it showed me that i need to change that i was the cause of the conflict so i resigned my job and we moved to indianapolis and GOD started working on me and i started selling domino’s pizza and started falling in love with GOD and falling in love with my family.  GOD started working in me, changing me.

you see only GOD could change our marriage and it started in me, it started in margaret.  you work on you and watch what happens.  the starting point of getting along with others, to avoid arguments, is to get peace in your heart through the rule of CHRIST.

give in to GOD.  this means you learn to say “THY will be done” instead of saying “me first”.  That’s the difference.  when you say, “LORD, whatever you want that’s what i want” then the peace process starts.

just a thought from the front porch…

the real issue…

humility is a difficult action that goes against the way we have been programed in the society in which we live.  we see it as a weakness instead of a strength but it is the cure for pride which is the cause for conflicts and arguments.

now in the the 4^th chapter of james he gives several specific practical actions that need to be taken in order to stop the fighting.  here is how you diffuse a conflict, whether it is between you and your child, you and your wife, husband, you and someone at work. 

james 4.7 (msg) says, so let GOD work HIS will in you. that is a humbling thing to do isn’t it?

in other words, let GOD be GOD in your life.  give HIM control.  put HIM in charge.  yield yourself to this is the starting point.  quit trying to run your own life.

in verse 1 (ncv) it says, the selfish desires that war within you. james says that conflict that happens with other people happens because you have conflict on the inside.  you don’t get along with other people because you’ve got a civil war in your own life.  this is the real issue.

so the starting point is getting peace inside before you can have peace outside.  find peace of mind, find peace in your heart. 

you see, the real conflict is inside of you – who’s in charge of my life.  now if you’re in charge, then anytime somebody comes along that doesn’t go the way you want to go, then you get uptight.  you get irritable.  you get upset.  you want things just the way you want them to go and when they don’t go that way, it makes you mad.  but if GOD’s in control, in charge of your life, it doesn’t irritate you as much.

just a thought from the front porch…

the first secret of peace…

mary the mother of JESUS was overwhelmed when the angel told her that she was going to be the mother of the SON of GOD.  but she shows us through this time how to handle overwhelming situations in our own lives.

notice what she said when the angel said, “GOD will do this.”  luke 1.38 (nlt),  mary responded, “i am the LORD’s servant.  i am willing to accept whatever HE wants.  [hear the submission, the attitude of surrender: i am willing to accept whatever HE wants.]  may everything you have said come true.”

this is the first secret of peace.  i don’t care what overwhelms you.  the first secret of peace is let go.  let go of control.  let GOD handle it.  mary says, “i’m giving up control.  i yield to GOD.  i surrender to HIS will.  i give it up.”  there’s a word for that.  it’s called faith.  she’s showing faith.  she’s saying, “ok, GOD.  i don’t know how you’re going to do it but i trust you to do it.”  that’s a hard thing to do.

let’s admit it.  in the group that is reading this blog today many of you are control freaks.  you have this innate desire to control everything around you because you know you’d make it better.  if everybody else would just let you rule the world everything would be perfect.  and if everybody in your family would do it your way, your business would do it your way, life would be grand.  so you have this need to control.  and when you look at things that you can’t control or hear of things you can’t control, it just bugs you to no end!  because you have this need to control.

there’s a verse in the bible just for you.  GOD put it there just for you.  it’s proverbs 3.5 (msg), trust GOD from the bottom of your heart.  don’t try to figure out everything on your own.  does that sound familiar?  i don’t have to figure everything out.  that’s one of the most important lessons in life.  i don’t have to figure everything out.  in fact if you try to figure out GOD you’re going to be severely frustrated because GOD cannot be figured out.  HE’s much bigger than your brain can handle.  and every time you try to figure out why GOD does what HE does you’re going to be disappointed and frustrated because GOD is not figureoutable!  you’ve got to let it go.

just a thought from the front porch…

conflict or peace…

 a mature person is a peacemaker not a troublemaker.  are you a peacemaker or a troublemaker?

james 4.1 (niv), what causes fights and quarrels among you?  don’t they come from your desires that battle within you?

he’s talking about conflict.  he says there are inner fights and quarrels and they come from our own inner desires.  you want something and you don’t get it.  you covet but you cannot have what you want.  you quarrel and fight and you do not have because you do not ask GOD.

am i a peacemaker?  am i a troublemaker?  do i like to argue?  am i a contentious person?  do i get my feelings hurt?  do i get defensive easily?  do i hurt other people’s feelings?  am i a peacemaker or am i a troublemaker?

the mark of a mature person is the lack of conflict in his own life.  paul told the corinthian church, you guys are a bunch of babies.  they argued about everything.  they argued about the LORD’s supper, gifts, leadership, everything.  That’s a mark of immaturity.

why is there so much conflict in the world?  why is there conflict in my marriage?  why is there conflict where i work?  why is there conflict between me and a former friend?  why is there conflict between me and GOD?  why is there conflict?

one reason for conflict, james 4.3 (niv), when you ask you do not receive.  but you ask with the wrong motives that you may spend what you get on your pleasures.

one cause for conflict is selfishness.  when i want what i want then i’m going to have conflict with somebody.  the issue is pride. 

how do i know if a person is immature?  look at their prayers.  if their prayers are always self-centered – bless me, prosper me, protect me, use me, help me…if this is the only kind of prayer you pray, that’s immature.  do you pray for other people?  bless me – is all i see is me, an “i” problem.  selfishness.

just a thought from the front porch…

peace and courage…

we have two decisions in this matter of pain in our life. we can decide to turn to bitterness or to turn to GOD for peace and courage. our choice.

we’ve all seen examples of this, where people have gone through virtually identical sets of suffering, very similar experiences in life. one woman may lose a child to a drunk driver and turn chronically bitter for the rest of her life. another person came to him and worked through her grief and then founded mothers against drunk drives to help other people going through this.

as one philosopher said, “i believe all suffering is at least potential good – an opportunity for good. it’s up to our free will to actualize that potential. not all of us benefit from suffering and learn from it because it’s up to us. it’s up to our freewill.”

our choice is either, to run from GOD. and what is the up side to that? or we can turn to GOD.

JESUS himself says in john 16.33 (nasb), these things i have spoken to you, that in me you may have peace. in the world you will have tribulation but take courage. i have overcome the world. HE says the two things we need, after we turn to JESUS CHRIST, is peace to deal with our suffering at present and courage to deal with suffering in the future. JESUS says, “i can give you the very things that you need.”

GOD’s ultimate answer is not an explanation, it is the incarnation – JESUS CHRIST fully GOD and fully man, coming in to our experience to live and die, to live among us.

i could never love a GOD who was distant, disinterested, detached and who just watched the suffering from afar. i could never love a GOD like that. but i cannot help but love a GOD who says, “i will enter into your suffering, i will enter into your pain. i will come into your world and i will suffer a death on the cross so that you might have eternity in heaven.” i can’t help but love a GOD like that.

just a thought from the front porch…

love sometimes takes courage…

JESUS always knew the right thing to do. if you studied HIS life, you’d find that sometimes JESUS avoided conflict, sometimes HE resolved conflict and sometimes JESUS actually created conflict. in your life, all three of those responses are sometimes going to be appropriate. sometimes you need to avoid conflict. sometimes you need to resolve conflict. but sometimes you need to create conflict.

most people have a misunderstanding that keeping the peace means avoiding confrontation at all costs. it means swallow my hurts, hide my feelings, repress the truth, ignore problems in my life, pretend that everything is ok. but the bible says that only causes more problems. the bible says that repressing the truth rather than dealing with the truth causes trouble.

proverbs 10.10 (tev) says, someone who holds back the truth will cause trouble. but the one who openly confronts works for peace. in theory, we all believe that honesty is the best policy. but in practicality, there are a lot of times in life when we don’t think honesty is such a good idea. speaking the truth is not such a positive thought.

for instance, “if i told my father the truth about him, he’d never speak to me again.” “if i told my husband how i really feel about our marriage, he’d blow up.” “if i told my boyfriend what i don’t like about him, he’d leave me.” “if i told my wife about my frustration with our love life, she’d accuse me of a one-track mind.” “if i told my boss that what we’re doing is unethical, i’d get fired.” “if i confronted my friend and told him he needed counseling, he’d never see me again.”

love is not always easy. love is not always fun. love sometimes takes courage. love sometimes is tough. and love sometimes includes a confrontation.

we’ve been looking at the question, “what is love?” we’ve talked about some of the lighter areas of love like love is kind, love is patient, love is respectful of others. but we’re now going to another level of love. we’re going to graduate-level loving. if you want to move out of grade-school loving and become a graduate-level lover, sometimes in life you’re going to have to do what we’re going to talk about now. it’s not an easy thing to talk about.

the bible says in 1 corinthians 13.6 (niv), love rejoices with the truth. ephesians 4.15 (tev) tells us, speak the truth in a spirit of love.

there is a skill that almost no one is good at. i’m certainly not good at it. and i doubt of any if you are really professional in doing this skill. because it’s a skill that we’re never taught. nobody sets us down and shows us the steps to doing it effectively.

it is how to confront someone you love in a loving attitude. how do you do that? if you want to have a better relationship, if you want to help other people, sometimes you have to say tough things that they don’t want to hear but they need to hear it.

just a thought from the front porch…